im sitting here and have a blank mind i feel numb spaced out like if my life moves on and im part of nothing around me disconnected completely from the world yet im sitting here at work

Reasons to ‘opt out’ : no one wants me, no one needs me, I have no purpose, I am hated by my family, every father figure I’ve ever had knew I have to be erased, I’ll never belong anywhere, No one will miss me, I don’t deserve to be called nor classified as human, I don’t deserve to exist, and nothing I do is ever good enough.
Reasons to ‘carry on’ : foolish hope that my poems might get noticed(HIGHLY UNLIKELY!!!) and fear that my 175 poems might get stolen(and that no one will care)
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I should just do the world a favor already and […]

It has been such a long time since I’ve posted on here. Maybe its because I feel like I have been improving a lot with my ongoing treatement, but lately I feel like I’ve been slipping backwards.

I just became aware of the emotionally abusive relationship I was in with my “best friend” and now, I fear my safety. I have been advised to get an AVO against her, but I don’t want to involve the police.

After my physically abusive ex boyfriend four years ago, I just don’t understand how I didn’t see her for what she really was. Even when I was aware – I […]

Life is not fair.
Life is unfair.

there is always winners & losers.
there will always be winner & loser.
so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
rather than they keep living chasing & fixing all their way too many losses, which is probably too late anyway too.
and usually losers can’t win / can never win against winners anyway .. even the “start” is already too late!!

This is the harsh truth / fact / reality .

Reality / Real life / Real world is very LIMITING / LIMITED in what we can & can’t do !
We are limited by money […]

Coming on this site has made me realize how many of us around the world have stories that teach us we are not alone in the hurt and suffering. Maybe in some solemn sort of way we are all one note away from playing the same song. Perhaps this site shall be our choir and our songs shall live on…

I’m going to keep this short and sweet.

So I’m a freshman in college 6 hours away from my home town. About a week ago my sister tried to commit suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills.

I found out about this from her boyfriend, her best friend, and my mom. (I also found out from her best friend that she’s had drug abuse problems recently.) I was able to contact her because she didn’t have her cell phone, but the day after she called me from the hospital. The gist of what I told her was that she should never try anything like that again. First off […]

I turned 25 Monday. I feel old. days with my boyfriend go up and down the arguments got bad then I finally stood up for myself and he realized he was close to losing me. I can’t lose him again I just can’t. but the craving for death is always here.. yes I know this made no sense. ps wanted to apologize for never posting my life story, I still keep putting it off

So guys here’s my story, I’ve been living an average life. I was pretty confident, had some people who liked me. Girls thought I was quite good looking, more or less I new what I wanted in life I wanted to play hard now n later settle down with the love of my life. So basically I had things planned, i lived my life a day at a time worked during the days, went to gym in the evenings, Clubbed on Fridays n Saturday nights. Everything was good I did this for the past year. I had two best friends which I went to gym, […]

I don’t know how to love you anymore. I wish I could have known I was going to fall in love with you when I met you then I would have done you a favor and left you alone. I had the lowest expectations for you FOR US. I thought this would have ended with failure , just a fling of failure that’s all I wanted. But now it just time to say goodbye we’ve given this try and maybe sometimes that’s all that matters. But I’m going so freaking crazy that the word crazy doesn’t even fit the description of how I feel. You […]

Honestly I don’t know what to do or how to feel. Life just keeps pushing me and shoving me and once I get knocked down I don’t have the strength to get back up. I hate when people try to help with their fake support. If they cared then why would they be the ones knocking me down? I hate the world. I don’t want to live here anymore. I want to stop feeling trapped, so trapped that I can’t physically breathe. It’s getting so hard to breathe.

The only thing we can count on in life is death…it remains forever loyal…friends turn into enemies lovers into haters summer sometimes feels like winter,you’re body betrays you, you’re mind deceives you…but death, death is a fate that no one can escape you can count on it

I need help fml fml oh my god I can’t take life anymore. The girls at school won’t leave me alone, the guys hate me. I try to be nice but always wind up being the mean one because they hurt me. Freshman year sucks I only get 3 hours of sleep a day and every night I chug down 6-7 sleeping pills hoping I’ll die but sAdly wake up the next day. everyone thinks im a whore though I’ve nevr done anything sexual in my life. Im basically my little sister second  mom. no purpose here. If I left nobody would really care. Maybe […]

These days it seems you guys are the only ones who do. Thank you.

As a kid growing up, I didn’t grow up happy. The pain I go through everyday of my life does not equal to the average kid today.  My biological father was my everything to me when I was young. He was the only person I look up to. We weren’t close, but he was the one in my life that gave me hope and happiness. Around the age of five, I was oblivious to see our family problems. I had no idea what was going on. My father told me in the midst of my sleep that he loved me, that he was leaving. Again, […]

I am a recently injured adult, 27, who obtained an ankle sprain, followed by a hamstring work injury, followed by an unknown ailment to my other ankle. I have been rehabbing for 3 months, with no end in sight, except to leave this predicament through alternative means. My doctors have to take an MRI of my new injury and I am still rehabbing my other two injuries. I’m taking two days off PT because my Achilles is hurting.
My history is that I have attempted suicide 3 times, without succeeding. Two times after my longterm ex’s broke up with me and once while injured in […]

This is my 3 rd time on this site. I look back at my posts and they are about my ex.

You broke my heart and I hadn’t wept any tears just feeling, movement and thoughts. Today I finally cried it had emotion, pain and anger the 3 things you need for a successful cry. You broke my heart and the worst thing is, is how we still talk after all that. My hand is still broken, the pain of the tear in my skin or is it the bulge I have on my middle fingers knuckle? No I didn’t hit her. I walked away and […]

“Drastic means are not as necessary as you think.” Why did I have to get this stupid fucking cookie.

Sooo beautiful and yet so sorrowful they say, who lied to you and told you beauty erases pain I hypothesise it brings trials and retributions, self carried out executions, delusions of a world which was never kind to you

breathe,i must remember to breathe. in, out, in, out…,paralyzing fear. like the first time i was shot at. my brain is numb, and has a difficult time making decisions. must do. anything. so scared. so damn emotional. making me crazier. cant stop crying. no more tears and i cant stop crying. seeking help, but what can be done? it dont go away. the only ones who understand are in the same boat with me and sinking fast. so disconnected from evrything. i want to die. yet, i want to live. i want to experience joy, happines and all the good emotions that i have denied […]

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I feel like I only hurt people that are close to me.  All my girlfriend wants to do is help and I’m so afraid of losing her, but all I do is push her away.  I punch holes in the wall, hurt myself (never her!), and cry all the time.  I actually can’t even remember a day where I didn’t break down and cry.  I feel like my life is meaningless and I always question people’s reasoning for even being around me.  If I had the choice, I’d leave myself and never come back.  I’m just a worthless […]