I sometimes go to bed thinking everything will be better the next day and that my life is just a bad dream. And when I wake up reality snaps back in to me and than I remember. I am an embarrassment to the family according to my father and I am useless to society. My goal is to inform others of what I live trough everyday.
Sometimes this helps. Just a little bit, when my feelings are tumultuous, anxiety is creeping through me and my stress levels are rising. I am overwhelmed by everything or nothing at all and It feels like I am at melting point, but I just want to stop feeling. To evaporate into thin air and just simply cease to be. Away from everything and everyone.
I Stop and I breath. Close your eyes if that helps, but breath in and out slowly. Concentrate on the air, going in and out, feel your chest rising gently and feel a wave of relaxation roll through your body, slowly washing over every […]
i have none… no friends… not a single one that i can talk to or go hang out with regularly… my friends that i use to have dont speak to me anymore… 4 of them are dead… 2 died by suicide. 1 by heart failure. and 1 by motorcycle accident… im all alone… ive never really been a social person… i dont know how to make friends. im out of school and living with my careless bf and his family… im 18 years worth of nothingness… almost 19… *sigh* i fucking hate everybody i know… i wish to know someone else…
if someone pointed a gun to me and was going to shoot me, id take the gun and do it myself… nobody will get the satisfaction that they killed me except for me… theyve all caused me enough pain as it is. i wont let them finish what they started so maybe theyll have the feeling of being incomplete and empty wondering why it couldnt have ended their way… someone try and drown me… help me set myself free…
Keeps getting deeper
Of in the binary, use a Phoenix-down
Given to, by an Electakid
I am, the chain of Pilgrimage
Hades, the devil has won
In the world, totality
2014 A.D.
Jesus was crucified
It’s only me, it’s only me
Bounce, putrid from beautiful galaxy
Take me to virtue, I just want to kick it
Ride my bike, get the fuck out, I can’t wait
Let me buy the fucking beer, or some bud, with my white-dog
Camaraderie de la mort with my hockey-mask, I want to make it
Across to the cross, I need to go now if North, kick-it, burn, gold-liquid
What else, […]
I have had depression as long as I can remember, I am 36 years old and was recently diagnosed with treatments resistant depression. I have always told my husband that it didn’t matter what medication I was on, my depression always comes back. That diagnosis was why and the last thing I needed to hear. I am now even more hopeless that, yet again, new meds seemed to be working but have now stopped.
I am a nurse and I know there are many treatments/meds etc to try but I have tried so much, I see a psychiatrist monthly and a therapist weekly as well as […]
It sounds stupid, but I have many, many problems. I have ADHD, depression, and anxiety. All three of these things are bad, but when they are together at the same time, they are difficult to live with. My depression has been getting out of hand lately. I have a serious crush on a girl, ever since I was in high school. Her best friends are also my best friends, so I had the guts to tell them that I had strong feelings for this girl. Unfortunately, this girl only thinks of me as a friend. A best friend. She talks to me about her crush. […]
I’m lost, confused; angry at myself, yet I portray my anger at others to hide my insecurities. I am a sadist, I hate it. I hate it so much, yet I can’t help it. I want to stop hurting, but I cannot control myself. I made my mother cry today. I blamed her for what I am, I blamed her for who she is. She always let’s me do whatever I want. She never says no. Nor does she ever try to stop me. Does she care? I push limits, boundaries, nothing I do phases her. I wipe my feet all over this woman and […]
Seeing as the nights are simply growing colder no matter the weather outside the glass or the amount of sheets I attempt to crawl beneath, I find myself here again. From time to time, this feeling engulfs my body only to later show the stressing of my seams. Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless; and, as if this statement werent true enough as is, I am a walking suicidal anomaly with as many wounds as demons to show for.
My body is a constant reminder of the years of drug abuse and self inflicted torture. There isn’t a day I awake to feel regret […]
I’ve tried overdose a few times, but that doesn’t really work. I’ve seen alot of exit bag stuff and that seems worth a try. I’ve got 60 dollars to spend on this and I’m unsure of what my options are.
Don’t go, I can’t do this on my own, save me from the ones that haunt me in the night I can’t live with myself, so stay with me tonight.
I know the holidays can be a rough time of year for some people. Especially people suffering from depression, addiction,etc. my question is for you how do you get through it in your situations? Me I just do like I do on a normal basis take it day by day…. See what comes.
That’s basically all I am. I am a joke of Fate, a fly trapped in the web she never stops weaving, a plaything that she uses to occasionally humor herself. And it really sucks.
It’s ironic, actually, because I always tell others to be who they are, an individual, and never give up hope. But I guess I let that last chance out of Pandora’s jar a long time ago, because I don’t think I’ll ever amount to anything.
Along with the overwhelming fear of failing an attempt (again), I have always been afraid of succeeding and finding some place worse than life on this Earth. Do people who commit suicide go to some type of “Hell”? Is there a Hell? Is there an afterlife? Will I be welcome to it if I force myself into it? Or is death like a dreamless sleep from which one never awakes? This notion terrifies me but is comforting at the same time. There may be nothing there at all which includes no depression, no anxiety, no more fear of death, no more hardships from life; there may just […]
I have been struggling with depression and had 1 fail attempt of committing suicide the only reason why I am still here posting my story of my dog. I was always lonely and was extremely anti-social but having a creature not human comfort you is truly amazing. It’s been 2 month since the suicide attempt and still struggling to get trough a single day of school and living at home in a family that doesn’t understand you. Thank you for reading.
Ever since I was little I dealt with a tumultuous relationship between my mom, my dad and my brothers. I’ve been abused my whole life. I use sex as a way to feel loved. I’ve had over 15 sex partners and I’m not even 18. I hate my brother most of all. He rubs his achievements in my face like he’s better than me. He makes fun of me cuz I had to stay back my freshman year of high school. I do recreational drugs to numb how I feel. But sometimes, I just want to die. I don’t want to feel anything anymore and […]
sorry i missed you, next time i’ll answer
just tried partial suspension again, but even that i could not go on. it just felt weird and it always seems like i’m dreaming, then i’m hyperventilating and shaking a lot and kind of wake up, hoping that it was all just a bad, horrible dream, only to realize it is not.
not sure if im doing it properly, tho.
I inherited a genetic disease from my dad. For 65 years I have dealt with intermittent back pain that ties me to my bed/recliner. When my back is hurting, even riding in a car is unbearable. When this happens, I feel like I’m living on Oxycontin. Worse, there isn’t anything I (or the docs) can do about this except wait it out and take drugs.
But then the pain goes away and I feel great — which makes people think I’m faking it and/or looking for sympathy. I don’t know what’s worse–the pain or the fact that people just don’t “get” it. Even my family doesn’t […]