Its been around two weeks since i started starvation, this is definetely not a way to go if you want to go peacefully, my body weight is at an all time low, my body is weak and any physical task is hell. Keeping composure at work and acting normal is the hardest of task. Im not sure if im hallucinating due to it, theres always something there edging me on to just finish myself off faster. I often find myself speaking to it or myself, my memories are a bit faded and does not feel like my own. The depression and anxiety remains strong. I […]

I’ve wanted to kill myself since I was very young. I was raised knowing that I wasn’t very much liked in my family and knowing I’ve caused so much pain over the years just existing is killing me inside. Nobody deserves the things I’ve done and I just can’t be this person anymore. When my mom got pregnant for me she was cheating on my younger sister’s father with my father, who was dying. When I was born my mother want allowed to tell many people about my real father because her boyfriend didn’t want people to know. My father died the day I turned […]

I’m fucking tired. So tired. Sick of the daily struggle.

Everyday, relentless. It just Dosnt end.

Sitting here, loaded shot gun. I can make it all end. Fuck it why not.

One decent reason I don’t wanna go alone.I fucking hate the lot of you. Every ****. I should take you all with me.

Stuck at a job I hate, get no respect.

The women I love. Toying with me. She asked me if I was gay today. Fuck me.

How did life get so fucked. How did I end up here.

Fuck it, burn in he’ll you pack of miserable cunts.

I’ll meet you there.

So today I started posting on this blog for suicidal people. I posted and eventually a buncha people started egging me on to cut myself some more. Obviously I have terrible self esteem so I did it. I started broadcasting my cutting. They were asking for it. So I did it. How did my life get so bad? Why is my timing in life so bad? Nobody will ever understand. They’ll all just assume. Assume assume. All I’ve ever wanted is a girlfriend. I went to a seminar in las vegas to gain confidence with woman. Shortly afterwards I had sex with the first non […]

I have a wonderful boyfriend, a great job, friends who do care and yet here I am on a Friday night on this website. To the point – i am struggling with coping with everything. A lot has happened recently.  Both my parents have been unwell recently. My dad suffered from a heart attack and my mum had a really bad infection. They were both admitted into the hospital and it was only me on my way. My dad was in another ward and my mum was in the other so I had to frequent back and forth to make sure each were ok. It […]

I am a failure. i am at a loss. i have received advice. i thought that following it would suffice. but as the time passes and as i reevaluate my life…

i am supposed to pursue art next year and go study abroad in italy to broaden my understanding of what i am getting myself into. but in order for me to pursue that future i only needed to graduate.

i only needed to pass the three subjects that i had failed last year.

i did well during the first few months but i started to go on a downward spiral halfway. no one understands how depression […]

Dirty Paws when I am at peace.

Any Other Name when I am gone.

King and Lionheart when I love.

Cannot Pretend when I am not loved.

Born to Die from beginning to end.

Stolen Dance when I am remembered.

Eyes On Fire when I destroyed.

Apologize when I regretted destroying.

Like Real People Do when it almost seemed real.

Broadripple Is Burning at my final hour.

Sex and Candy when it was just fun and games.

Reptilia at my best.

Blackout Days when you’re absent.

I am a junior in high school at the moment. Female, 16 years old. It’s been almost over 2 years that I have been depressed and in and out of rehab. During that time, I have tried to kill myself more times than I can count. But when it came to that point – actually taking the leap and ending it – it’d be like a chain is holding me down and not letting me go. One of my worst moments was attempting overdose…throwing it up is worse than anything I could imagine. That was the last time I ever tried killing myself, because I […]

I love him and he’s the reason why I’m still around. He doesn’t know it. Any of it. He doesn’t know that he’s saved a life for the time being. He doesn’t know that no matter how much he angers me or gets me in trouble or makes me wish I was dead even more, I love him and I wouldn’t trade a second of our time together.

I love you Jake, I love you, and I’m going to tell you soon.

I sit here on my own.  Just waiting for someone to realize that I am an island.  I wish someone would be brave enough to row out to sea, just to stumble upon me.  But instead I sit here, alone and deserted.  Minutes, days, months pass without human contact.  Just me and my thoughts, swirling around like a hurricane. They batter my mind like wind against a wall, they tear me up by the roots and toss me around like I’m nothing.  I guess I am nothing.  If an island is never discovered, did it ever exist?  I kind of doubt it.

But I will sit […]

I hate when my mom is drunk or when her stupid boyfriend is drunk. ALL THEY DO IS FIGHT. I’m so sick of it, its been going on for 5 years, the alcohol the drugs the pushing the hitting. I’m done. They add so much more stress to me. I already have issues without them. I’m tired of the fighting. I hate seeing my mom crying, I hate seeing her drunk. I hate it when all her an her boyfriend want to do is drink. I stick around because my baby brother is 3 and someone has to be there to take him to the […]

Tonight is just another night where he kicked me out because his friends were mad at me. On top of that I received a failing grade on an assignment. Just another night and I can’t stay strong.

but i just want to die. I’m tired. i have been suicidal before. but this is different. because i know the outcomes. things get better. but they never really change. and i don’t want to live an entire life cast under this shadow. if that makes me weak, out of touch, mentally ill, so be it. all i ever wanted was some form of justice -some type of recognition. i never got anything. the man that ruined my life sits on the beach and i’m sick of it, so bye. sorry i couldn’t be the strong one.

My selfish enemy
Still has the best of me
Empty and feeling numb
Wish I could take it away
I can’t control the need
To weak to not concede
Wish I was deaf and dumb
Wish I could fake it

**Seether**

This will be my last note to everyone. I lay awake waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to text me, waiting for forgiveness, waiting…. That’s all I’ve done with my life. I’ve been waiting to end all of this. Everyday I wake up, I go to school because it’s easier not to think there. I’m sitting at a table where no one wants me there. I’ve gave up with wanting to fit into a group. When I’m not there no one thinks about me. No one loves me enough to call them theirs. Theirs no place for me here. I started thinking about […]

Well, what can I say? I’m actually quite surprised that I’m actually still here today. I used to cut, and I believe I’m one year clean as of yesterday. When I’m at school, it’s as if everyone wants me gone. But when I come online, it’s like everyone in the whole technical universe loves me for who I am, and that’s probably the whole reason I’m still here, because of internet people. You guys are the best, and always make my day. Whether it be by cracking a joke, or telling an awesome story! (: I thank you guys for that. I look forward to each […]

Seems that by saying I feel like killing myself and mentioning it was my birthday in the same sentence meant I deserved some abuse. I don’t care how old I am. I put my age as I was sick of feeling like this for years. Not because I want to die because I’m a certain age.

I fucking hate life and being here.

Good fucking bye

Hi
This is my first time writing on here and I am kind of scared to talk. I’m quite shy.
But hey, I might aswell tell you what I am hoing through.
People hate me. Short and sweet I know but it is true. People just hate who I am.
I cut. Just like everyone expects me to do. I mean, people expect me to want to end my life, and I do, but the point is I can leave wheni I want to leave. Its not like anyone would care anyway.
My story? Well it all started when my sister died. I was only […]