I was intoxicated by the feeling in the air, faint wisps of pizza and beer filling my being.

It was a graduate program alright, but the campus itself reeked of undergrad shenanigans.  Most people find it gaudy, but I love the community atmosphere of a uni campus.  It’s a sexually incestuous band of merry vagabonds, topped off with general studies classes that force a modicum of higher thinking that is generally expressed in smoke filled dorm rooms.  Well, at least a chemically induced impulse to think outside the box.

Logging more hours than I care to think about on the road to the university, my mood was […]

My life seems great looking from the outside in. I have a nice looking family with comfortable living expenses, three cars, and a nice house. But honestly my emotions have taken a toll on my life. Growing up I’ve stolen and lied numerous times and basically I’m just a terrible person. Some may say I deserve it.

Parents divorced, I live with my mom.  And since then she’s been meaner and meaner, boyfriend by boyfriend. Now she’s married and doesn’t care for me. Being an asian parent, she’s abused me. Laying a hand on your own child is considered abuse even if it’s just a spank. […]

I just feel like there isn’t anything worth living for. Everyone could go on just fine without me. I’m 50 and in a career transition and being talked into continuing an MBA program. It seemed like a good idea at first and I was told I could quit if I didn’ like it…but now I’m being shamed into sticking with it.

What I really wanted to do was start my own home baking business. But that got poo-pooed.

I should have listened to the knot in my stomach, which usually steers me away from things that most likely are bad…but I didn’t this time.

I know, […]

I want to be strong for my husband and my kids, but I don’t know how I can go on much longer.  I have been sick for 2 years now, and no one knows what’s wrong with me.  I’ve been in pain every day, and it’s making me a worse and worse person.  When my husband and I first met he was so in love with me, and now he can’t stand me.  He tells me that it’s not my fault and he loves me, but I can tell that he doesn’t.  I’m just a burden to him.  He won’t admit it but I can […]

I am only 5’5″ tall, which is really short for an 18 yrs old male like me. Almost everyone, including girls that I would like to date are much taller than me. I am always ashamed when I am around people. People never take me seriously and I have been bullied and insulted because of my height many times. It amazes me to see that how many people are complete jackasses who judge people by their appearances. It is as if it is taught to them that short people aren’t people, they have no feelings, you can insult and bully them to for sick plesure […]

You make me the happiest, but you make me the worst. With you I feel Complete but I also feel lost. I need you in my live but you make it harder to fight. I’d do everything, even If that means ruin myself for you.

If I had a dollar for everytime I have heard someone use that phrase (in reference to anyone, not just me), I would be a millionaire. It is difficult to even dream of getting more “help” when you have taken every medication available for anxiety and depression and talked to a variety of counselors only to have it all blow up in your face. The medication made me put on fifty pounds (which took almost two years to lose) and the last counselor I was seeing told me word for word that I was a selfish coward for even considering suicide. Years later, all of that wasted time, effort and […]

Hi…okay here I go. I have been depressed for about a year now, and I have been so close to just killing myself so many times. I think that the reason why I haven’t is because of my friends. A few of them are depressed and I want to make them better before I try t leave. When people look at me and my life, they see someone perfect. They see a girl who has it all. She is always smiling, and always surrounded by her friends. The things is, I don’t get bullied. Sure, I get teased, but who doesnt? But one day […]

The impact from my chest caving into itself has created the waves that return when my mental state goes out of balance. I’m so lonely it hurts. I used to be so strong and uninterested in love. Now, I find myself thinking it’s the only thing left in the world that will save me.

Darn, lost a full poem, battery-outty
In a cold shell, touching the light
I hide, abyss, holy golden knight
Where is to the temple, who is the link
To the fountain, how do we go
Or I do keep falling, falling
Only me that’s drowning, to the death
I am, an undead, the Morlocks, Leech
Pirate, iron-mask, le celibatar
Brother, and sister, enfant de la mort

I am a high school senior.  I have anticipated this moment since grade school, when my loving parents emphasized how school was my number one priority.  It supposedly was supposed to make me get ahead of everyone.  But now I’ve realized that’s a lie.  I used to be so quiet and focused on schoolwork.  Now I don’t shut up in class.  I’m funny; I like jokes.  I’m terribly blunt and say inappropriate things I immediately regret.  My grades are dropping even though I’m trying so hard.  My boyfriend insists everyone feels how tough it is this year, and I’m sure they do, but I feel […]

Few weeks ago I stumbled on this website while researching on how to commit suicide and different ways to do so. I was in a very dark place in my life where I felt like suicide was the way to go.

I have felt emotionally depressed over a year ago when my boyfriend at the time and I broke up. At the time, I felt like the whole world was crashing down. I started to fail dramatically in school by not attending classes and not paying attention. I never had good relationship with my family because I was always a disappointment to them (no I didn’t just […]

I feel so hopeless in life…it always feels like the same thing everyday, I’ve given up all hope, really what is there for me to live for the “friends” who make me feel invisible? The family who could care less about me? Everything that i loved about my life is gone i literally do nothing anymore…How could nobody notice how much i have changed in the past 4 years…depression got the best of me and I honestly don’t know if i will ever be okay again. All I want is to genuinely happy for just one day none of this fake bs anymore…

I really want to know why people are so fucked up. Why can’t people do whatever the hell they want as long as they don’t invade the rights of others? Things like weed, prostitution, and so on are illegal or taboo, but seriously, why? Why are we told to look down on people who are okay with doing drugs or having sex with tons of strangers? What’s the alternative but working nine to five until retirement and death? Whenever I tell my mother that we should allow people to do what they want, she acts like she’s okay with it, then, if I rephrase the […]

Let me introduce myself first. My name is Drew. I’m 22 years old and am currently in the Air Force. I am a very outspoken, loving person and it’s very easy for me to make new friends. But my problem is this: I don’t want to be just another blip on the radar of life… I don’t want my entire being to amount to nothing. My dad is a perfect example of this… He used to be a fun, happy man until he lost his job and his wife (my mother) several years ago. Now he is consumed with hate and regret. He has never […]

I wish I could literally just explode sometimes. People suck truly, we are stupid, naive, selfish beings. And there are people in this world that are aware they are like that and they are perfectly ok with it. I keep having dreams of my ex just these terrible dreams and I wake up feeling the pain from those dreams. There’s things that remind me of us, of him and it makes me angry and hurts me inside. I want so badly to be ok, im tired of the pain of feeling like death would be better than life. I don’t want the bad people in […]

I want to fall asleep & never wake up. Life feels pointless. It has my whole adult life. You struggle mentally, physically, emotionally, financially…and for what? You work your whole life, just to one day die so why not speed up the bullshit process. I am sick and tired of going through the motions. I don’t want to be doped up on anti-depressants. I don’t want to self soothe through sexual pleasure, with alcohol or drugs. I’ve called the suicide hotline, & the douchebag guy pretty much told me to suck it up. Don’t waste your time. Praying doesn’t do shit. After 26 years here, […]

I don’t know how to. How do you just spill out the contents of a bottle that has been filling up for the past few years? The nightmare I’ve been so afraid of, is finally here.
It won’t be easy to pour out everything. I’ve gotten so used to storing this within me, it’s part of my life already. Oh how I wish I could tell you. But I don’t know how to. I suck. I really do. I am sorry.

I’ve already figured out how I’m going to do it, I’m just struggling on the when part.  Is there ever a right time?  I’d do it today but my daughters birthday is thursday.  Should I wait till after?  I just don’t know if I can bear the pain till then. I know the hold that a death anniversary holds on people so I’m trying to be considerate of that.  But like I said, I don’t Know if I can bare to go through another day. I’m so done.

So people tell me that God doesn’t make mistakes, that everyone has a purpose on Earth. Maybe my purpose is just to be here for a while. Maybe I have no purpose at all. I have nothing to offer this world. I have no gifts, no talents. Im failing all my classes, (im a junior in High School). I’m not going to write a great piece of music. I’m not going to paint a master piece, or come up with a cure for cancer. If I was gone the world wouldnt miss me, the world wouldnt have lost a great person.