I have a bad habit of not taking my meds. Only two of them are important, one stops the seizures and the other helps me from attempting at my life. Even when i’m on my meds i still wish to die but off of them,hell i can only say it’s hard to resist killing myself. My boyfriend would be completely ruined and so would my family. That’s the only reason to be honest, i except the thought of death. I’ve been told that i’m selfish and complain a lot but if people knew the crippling pain i was in they would shut the fuck up. […]

So right now im sitting in the living room of my home, watching my fiancée pack her things to leave. And it’s killing me. I can’t stand it. I haven’t much to say, just to say I’m sorry. I failed you, in so many ways and therefore I deserve this. Which is why I have decided to end my life tonight. You’ll leave, and be happy. And I’ll be happy too. You told me that you want me to think of my happiness first now. Well that’s what I’m going to do. Tonight after you close the door for the last time, I will wrap […]

I can not escape this feeling. I did what I could today to get away from this. Here I am feeling the exact same way. I feel useless, a bad mother, a bad person. I don’t know what else to do. I called my therapist today to get some meds. He never called me back. He told me to call him. It was a crappy day. Even though I did everything I possibly could to make it a better day. To get my mind off everything. When will this feeling go away for good? I Just can’t feel this way any more. My son deserves […]

Tonight I’ve realised how utterly alone I am, think I’ll cry myself to sleep thinking of love that’ll never be, I’m so lonely, so frightened of the future.

I’m so depressed. Shedding some blood on Halloween seems appropriate. I hope at least some of you are. having a good time. You deserve to be happy. Even if only for a moment. Mothers, tell your children not to do as I have done….

Even my dog is partying hard tonight! Hope everyone had a great night 🙂

(yeah I know most didn’t but hey I can wish for it anyways)

Spending all my time trying to find my feet and then I lost my legs. Look at me like where’s the happiness, but if only I can grow it like hair I’d be all in this. Don’t look at me like my woes reproduce like lice, standing over me like you’re Jesus Christ. Nail yourself to someone else who needs saving, or walk on water if you like, as long as you walk away.
Because I don’t need release from this..no need in letting go..the meaning in between the seams are splitting just to show you what I know. If I find it hard to sleep tonight, […]

I went to the hospital for my self-harm issues(the only reason I ever found this site) along with PTSD, major anxiety and other mental health problems. I was in a two-week program at McLeans adolescent residential treatment program(or ART.) well about my seventh day there, a boy shows up. His name is Alex. It was nothing new, there was new people coming and going there all the time. We did our introductions, and when he explained his, I realized what an amazing voice he has. Yes, sadly I kinda had a crush on him from the first thing he said. But, he was only there […]

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back…I’ve had depression for years. 19 now, 18 last year…

And she was my best friend…And my girlfriend at the time…

And last year…She broke it off with no explanation. I didn’t cry, because I don’t cry, for some unfathomable reason.

We were friends for awhile, but I fucked that up. I was too…Clingy, I guess is the way to describe it. And I don’t even know why. I guess I just needed someone…I never told her about the depression; I thought it would drive her away.

But I drove her away anyway, because I never […]

On a cold, dark night
I can always count
On burning bridges
To provide me light

Could someone please talk to me? I haven’t been myself in awhile now and I don’t know what to do. I suffer from a form of depression that destroys my relationships with family and friends. I am sad. Always. I bring people down when I try to talk to them about my sadness. They have family and friends and children and they are happy. Then I come along and tell them how sad I am. They try to entertain me but after awhile they don’t want to hear it. My parents call me selfish when I tell them I’m thinking about suicide. They tell me […]

From a rock to a brick, sand to glass… what would it mean of the mind or for man to turn his sights to being a brick and/or a glass unto himself? To use his every tool, his every object, and ergo; to use his every existence; his time and his mind! Man sees it within his nature or his ancestral talents that he is able to chisel a statue out of a mere rock yet he cannot chisel himself to such perfection and detail? What has him so fooled that he is not able to see the rocks and sands of this earth and […]

Hello everyone, this is my first post, I think even my first post on the internet. I have read alot of your stories and they touched and moved me deeply and brought me to tears.  If in some way  I could be of help to someone out there just give me a message and I will be there for you. You are not alone in this nightmare.

Now for my story, I am a 32 year old man from the Netherlands, born slighty autistic ( I got traits from Asperger). My life has always been ‘different’ because in my mind I connect the dots different and […]

12 hours to go

You win, I was too wrong from the beginning anyway. A gear missing the teeth and don’t fit in the machinery.

“Be yourself, it’s all you need”
Of course there is the big probability chance, that everything else around you, don’t want or agree with your self, so you will have to let them mold, shape, change and fix you, so you can fit in, and get to be yourself, they can accept. But hey doesn’t matter, as long as you just “be yourself”

“You can’t be lonely if you’re not alone”,
and if you’re alone, well then it’s your own fault.
Don’t worry, […]

I hate the world we live in, the society we’re built on, and any direction i could take my life in…. I feel like such a disgrace, my life is wonderful! As i type this on my smartphone in my cozy bed in a warm house, my loving parents are probably thinking about me just like i think about them constantly… They shower me in love and gifts and praise, but I DO NOT DERSEVE A FRACTION OF IT! Killing myself would be too harsh for these beautiful, kind individuals, but I feel it would save them from dissapointment and hardships in the future… I […]

Am I the only one who uses alcohol/pot to get through the day? I mean I know it’s not good in the long run, but in the moment it helps. I get to a point where I literally cannot bear the pain, it’s just too much, and I honestly feel that if I didn’t have to booze to wear me out and let me forget i would drive straight to the Golden Gate Bridge and jump. I feel like booze have saved my life a couple times this week, I just drink to the point where I don’t have the energy or motivation to hurt […]

Everyone is gone for Halloween. Even my lol online friendlist is completely empty, and they are nerdos like me! How come everyone else is having fun on a day like this and I am just sitting here doing what I always do. Oh right, for a second there I forgot I have no friends. Hm, maybe I should acquire some imaginary friends, but they’ll probably dump me as well. I guess that only leaves only the computer. At least he doesn’t judge.

People will say “Don’t kill yourself please! You have so much to live for!” As I look around…I don’t have much to live for. In a world that’s feast or famine, war or waste, hate and debate. It never took me long to realize that suffering was life. You’d be lucky to find someone who chooses to stand with you as you struggle and suffer. This life is all about survival, we call it living to sound more appealing. I knew that if I had to go through this alone, I would not make it because my heart could not break it to my mind […]

This may be my last post not because I’m going to kill myself. As my drs and social services don’t think I can cope anymore and they are right. They think my mental health condition is not manageable in the Community or like a psychiatric hospital. So they looking at sending me to a therapeutic Community. I really don’t want to go but got no Choice over the matter. I know I cart cope with the life I’ve been given feeling suicidal is just one off many problems I’ve got to deal with on a day to day basis. I wish I could be a […]