Fuck depression sucks big time, the only time I’m not depressed is when I’m drunk or asleep.

Take me to a better place lord I want out from my illness. Doing it as soon as I save up for an older style car. The pain free way until then, living out this rotten existence is the only way.

I can’t even get a job no motivation and when I did all I had was an increase in voices through the radio. Thought I was tough living as a schizophrenic but I’m not can barely function and all I want is alcohol and tobacco to make me feel […]

At the suggestion of a few of you on here, I have set up a Go Fund Me campaign.

Here is the link to my fundraiser.

http://www.gofundme.com/youngwidow

Please share this link with anyone that you think might be willing to help. Even $5 is greatly appreciated.

Those of you who have read my posts and interacted with me on here probably know this about me already. I’m not the kind of person to ask for help. I’m the stubborn person who always tries to fix my problems all by myself. Maybe that’s why I’m in such a horrible situation right now. Perhaps the Universe is trying to […]

I feel so pathetic. My life hasn’t even been that bad. I’ve never been physically abused by anyone. Both my parents are alive, and my family isn’t poor…

So why do I feel so depressed… So empty? I feel so tired, but I’m only 13. Why?

Maybe it’s because I have to put on a mask whenever someone is around, after all it’s been that way since I was 9… I think I’m even starting to trick myself with my own mask.

I feel like an actor in a play I never auditioned for… My script is prewritten and made to deceive, my mask to convince. I can’t […]

Living each day with so much difficulty, having to force myself through each task or activity is so exhausting. I don’t even have the energy to commit to dying. I wish there was a switch to flip so it could just end. I feel like a burden on my husband. He is so good to me and all I do is treat him like shit and fuck up his life with all my bullshit. I am torn between wanting to live for them and wanting to die for them. . . and for me. I’m just not strong enough to keep going. I just […]

This has been the hardest year of my life. To say things have gone south is an understatement. Some good things have happened but the bad far outweighs it. I attempted to commit suicide unsuccessfully earlier this year. Ever since then I’ve had off and on thoughts about attempting it again. The biggest thing that has stopped me is my kids and the thought of who would find my body. The first time was a cry for help. I didn’t succeed because I was sloppy about it. This week though all the feelings have come rushing back. I can’t stop thinking about the fact that […]

My life, in a run down, boring, memory encasing, hell hole, will soon be over. My friends greater than anyone before are taking me out of this place. I’ve lost so many people here, my family, lovers, and some great friends but now I can see it coming to a close. I can’t wait to say Fuck this place, and now go live, have a new beginning. My arm is messed up and my head and body are screaming for this now. I know this is a beginning to something better. I love you, my family, I love you Cristina, I love my friends here, […]

But does anyone notice? But does anyone care? And if I had the guts to put this to your head… And would anything matter if you’re already dead?
And now should I be shocked by the last thing you said? Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained… And in saying you loved me, made things harder at best, and these words changing nothing as your body remains,
and there’s no room in this hell, there’s no room in the next, and our memories defeat us, and I’ll end this direst.

So, life has been shit. And apparently, even though I’m working my ass off at my job 5 days a week, short shifts of 6 hours a day, and looking for another job on top of this one, the universe has decided to piss all over me, still.

When will it end?

November 2013: my husband passed away. To this point I was a housewife. Inherited $25,000 of debt.

November-January: Slip $5-6000 more into debt due to final expenses, bills, etc. New debt total: ~$30,000

January 2014: facing homelessness, dad and step mother take me in with multitudes of “conditions”

January-March: Broke beyond belief, being treated like a slave in […]

After much thought and consideration, I have decided to end my life. I may have only been here for 19 years, but that’s 19 years too many. Life has been harsh to me for too long. I have a condition that’ll shorten my life span anyway, so I may as well cut to the chase and get it over with.

I have forgotten what it feels like to be truly happy in life. Sadness and depression have defined me for so long, I don’t know how to feel anything else. There hasn’t been a day in my entire life when I woke up and thought, “I’m […]

Mental Health Week ends today in my country. I am very lucky to live in a country that is pretty accepting of mental health issues but even with it’s national recognition on media and such, I can tell you that I still continue to have stigma placed upon me from first hand experience. For instances, I was tricked into disclosing my health issues during a job interview and it was so obvious from what the lady said, wrote and acted after I did disclose my mental health problems that I wasn’t going to get the job. I stupidly tell people that I am feeling suicidal […]

I don’t get high cause I like to,I don’t even like the tatse of swisher sweets.I get high to get threw the day.I rarely cut anymore but now that’s all I wanna do.Cutting when high Is like a high to a high.Without either one & someone not there Its like whats the point??I am by no means a strong person.I need an escape.Maybe I needa go home??

Hi, so i am new to this site and this is my first actual post.

I guess i am just looking for insight into … i don’t even really know, just what goes on inside my head maybe.

I have just recently been diagnosed with depression but i have kind of known for some years now that i have been depressed and i self harm.

So I have been reading some posts on here the past few days and most people talk about all of the struggles they have gone through in their lives and how they want to escape from all of their problems and reality. At […]

I’m fairly certain I come from a long line of diagnosed and un-diagnosed mental illness.  My maternal great-grandmother committed suicide when my grandmother was eleven. Unfortunately, I never really took the time to ask my grandmother how it effected her as a child and an adult, and now she’s recently passed.  I have been diagnosed as bipolar by two psychiatrists, but when I returned to one of those doctors recently after a couple years gap, she seems to be rethinking that diagnosis.  I’m not seeing a professional right now because I have a hard time justifying spending $50 to see the therapist every week, plus […]

I think sometimes in life you take the path that seems the most daring and obvious to you, but sometimes that path isnt the right one. For me it was the art path, since i was 16 i dreamed of being a great artist someday, i worked my ass off for years, putting aside friends,health and everything else, because everyone knows usually if you want to succeed and have a living in art you either need incredible luck or work your ass off everyday. Well i chose not to rely on luck and work my ass off, and even then, it wasnt enough. After almost […]

Hello, I first want to say I hope everyone is having a good day. I suppose mine would be a bit better if you all in the SP community could clear something up for me if you would. I have seen that you all wish to attack a certain member on here called Squid. And I do not wish to start anything by this post and I am sure you all will start in with your reasons of why he is indeed a Pedophile. I only wish to truly understand with clear evidence what is causing this to be said and nothing more. I do […]

The chaos of hell

I am hell-bent not hell’s bent

Nobody, nobody

I’m so sorry

So hard, keeps falling

Here, nobody here

I am the only

That lost

But I know

Lone until the next saga

I versus the apocalypse

It’s just me, homie.

Humanity seems to believe the absurd ideology that all humans are created equal. Therefore, when someone has something like ADHD, or some other disorder, be it mental or physical, of course others will try to ostracise them! We’re raised in a society that says everyone is the same, and that people can do anything if they set their minds to it. This society is fucked up. Many “disorders” or “syndromes” aren’t detrimental at all, but rather, they’re different ways of acting and perceiving. Why can’t they be respected as such, and why do people with these differences have to be seen as inferior to others […]

I got accused of not being suicidal yesterday because of a post about loving two people. how can people just assume? yes, I am miserable, morbidly depressed, very bipolar and BPD and a bunch of other things, but I have had a few good moments. just because a post doesn’t mention that I want to die doesn’t mean I don’t want to die.

I’m sure now. I bought a ticket to another place, I don’t want my parents to find out. I live in a very shitty country, so they won’t know this way. I’ll go to the mountains and eat some mushrooms, alone. Bye.

I found a supplier online who claims to sell ********. I emailed them saying I would like to order 1x 100mg of a ******** Solution for $450 (the price that they have mentioned). They requested that I transfer the money via Money Gram. I’ve never heard of Money Gram before let alone used it so I asked if I could pay via PayPal. They replied that PayPal have froze their account because they don’t support voluntary euthanasia. I did some research and there is no consumer protection for Money Gram as there is with PayPal. Do you think that I am being scammed? Or is […]