So i had the most terrifying nightmare last night…. I’ll spare you the gory details, but one thing i will say is my dad was the pain mart of it. He kept attacking me, abusing me, both verbally and physically, he was literally torturing me…it was the worst thing i’ve ever experienced dream wise…. And he kept telling me over and over… “Just kill yourself. Just commit suicide. Do it.” Again, and again, and again. And whereas in most dreams/ nightmares i can wake up, this one was a never ending torture. I woke up sweating, shaking uncontrollably, and crying. It was the worst thing […]
My life is a living nightmare. I want to die so badly but I can’t ever seem to follow though any plans to commit suicide. It isn’t about anything religious or some sort of moral dilemma. I guess half of reason I am unable to go through with it is the immense pain suicide may be. I mean let’s face it, jumping from a really tall building and having your bones crushed into a million pieces doesn’t seem very attractive as does jumping in front of a train. I have heard so many failed suicide attempts that I fear being in immense pain in a […]
I’m having trouble expressing how sad I am because everything I’m saying here sounds like the cynical ramblings of a naive teenager, but I’ve had increasingly obsessive thoughts about how everyone ages and dies and gets sick and I have to let some of it out or I’m going to rip my hair out.
I don’t think you truly understand this until you get to a certain age, when you realize there really is no escape from this condition for everyone you’ve ever known; everyone’s getting unceremoniously assigned a horrible fate of slow decay and suffering.
I don’t care about my own life anymore but there have […]
I wonder what death would be like, for one as me… One who walks without purpose…. A corpse, forced to stand up by the scarce will it still has. If anyone in here would like to comment on this, they are welcome.
Nightmares every single night. Can’t stop thinking about it when awake. I sedate myself with trash TV and music and school just to try and forget. But it always comes back… each time I am sadder, angrier, more hopeless than before.
This life must end. At some point, I just need to take the risk and shoot myself in the head. Trying for the find the most desolate stretch of land around me to increase the chances of dying…
I’ve had a lot of medical and mental history. My CFS/fibromyalgia is bad at this moment. I’ve tried to take my life in the past, but didn’t know you were supposed to go down the road and not cross the tracks. Plus I have a genetic blood disorder that causes my to clot quickly. I didn’t know that at the time. I saw my mother try to kill herself several times as a child. I don’t want to leave that legacy to my hubby and children or whoever may find me. But, I’m tired of being a burden. I’ve learned my Daughter in Law says […]
I just want my depression and the voices to end, I had the best job and the best wife and lost it all. I have lost my life, my confidence and all my friends. Am currently studying again and doing really well, but hearing voices to commit suicide and having depression big time sucks as if I can’t pull myself out of a grave. And yes I do take meds.
I have gone through suicide in my head thousands of times and know of the painless method I will actually carry this out. Just need to save some money. It’s pain vs pleasure for me and […]
In March 2014, I was sent to the mental ward for suicidal thoughts. Here is my experience.
One day, I had an appointment with my doctor, during which we discussed my depression. He asked me if I ever attempted suicide. I said yes, and told him about the previous day, when I had tried to hang myself but was interrupted by my dad. My doctor told me to promise not to try again. My response was, “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.” With that, he walked out the room without a word. He was gone for a long time-at least half an hour. Suddenly, the […]
Cross a road as you see a bus approaching far off in the distance, and wish it weren’t hundreds but a mere few feet away.
Peer over the hand rails of a bridge and imagine yourself plunging towards the watery depths below.
Drag a finger along the edge of a blade – wishing your finger were your neck instead.
Feel a faint sense of relief at the thought of others gazing downward at the lifeless body – it had imprisoned you for much too long.
Battle the urge to just jump .. to make the leap of faith into the abyss.
Become fixated upon the person you’ve wanted so deeply to know and understand, disgusted by […]
After he left me, I turned upside down. I thought sleeping with guys would help me forget him, maybe i actually thought the guy i was with would actually love me, but that was all a joke. It would never be love, it was all lust. That’s all it is now adays is lust, maybe for a second i honestly thought i had feelings for these guys. Now, sex isn’t pleasurable.. i just want it to be done with when i have it. Maybe i thought i could honestly numb out the feelings for him with other guys, because alcohol wasn’t working with me, smoking […]
Three months. I survived three months without cutting. I thought I was finally coming out of my depression, that I was actually gonna be OK. Clearly I was wrong. I feel like I’ve just dug an even bigger and deeper hole when all I really needed was a rope.
“Inside us there is something that has no name, that something is what we are.”
Yes… my life sucks. I don’t think that it sucks that much. Evertime I think I hate my life I think on those people who are worst than me. Like little kinds in Somalia and that shit… that’s the cultural instinct. But I don’t really care anymore. Who the fuck cares if there is someone in a situation worse than mine? That doesn’t make it less painful..
I don’t know, I don’t really care about it anymore. I don’t want to kill myself, that’s the thing… in my mind, there is still hope.. or at least, I crave for some hope… I’m desperate to think there […]
Technology can be fantastic for meeting new people, and sometimes you meet the right ones. I got to. I met the man I would’ve grown old with through a stupid website then through a dumb app designed for sending nudes and talking to strangers. I don’t understand why such a fantastic man was put into my life just to be taken out of it. Thanks to Technology, I had to find out he died from a message. Not a call, not in person the day he died. No, several months later when his mother finally found my contact information. I don’t know the date of […]
Ebola coming to a town near you soon, just give it time. We will all die from it. It’s worse than they are reporting. FEMA didn’t pile up coffins for nothing. Don’t worry about suicide,,,,,,,, death is just around the corner.
How would you define a loser?
Let’s see:
Would a 25 year old who cannot hold down a job for more than 6 weeks without getting fired and who has been unemployed for about 2 years qualify? Still living under your parents roof?
How about the person of the same age never having been in a relationship or have even had a real kiss? (The main issue being societies expectations. It does not really bother me too much.)
Or what about having no real friends because you have such poor social skills, get socially anxious and are known to have a temper? Where even mental health staff have given […]
I’m knew here and hope to be welcomed into the community. I am very weird and cooky and clumbsy 15 year old girl. I hope I can make some friends from this site that understand what I’m going through a little. I self harm and have attempted suicide 4 times. I don’t quite understand most of this site, but yeah.
Dear Mom,
I am very sorry for the hurt I am about to cause you and everyone who has loved me. You have been the best mother a daughter could ever hope for and I know I would not have lasted this long if it was not for you. You know I have been battling my depression for as long as I can remember. The medication has evidently not been working and I just want the pain to end. I don’t belong in this world and I don’t see things changing anytime soon. I just want you to know that it was never my intention to […]
Ever since I was 4 years old I’ve been completely alone. I never really took the the prospects of making friends, and my parents are often traveling and working. My life in high school is mostly me sitting around in a dark house doing homework. Something has been seriously disturbing me lately however. Until now, I never minded the loneliness; instead, bottled it up and stored it as tears. Tears that trickled down the sides of my heart and cut tears in them, shattering my consciousness. This year I sincerely believe I require mental help, but I will get none: my parents don’t care, and […]