http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtaxKNaEAns
Well, I’ve certainly thought about suicide long enough and after 3 attempts I sure know how to cross the psychological line, to push through the barrier, to take my own life. So why do it? Well, here’s why…
– Abuse as a child. Now, whilst that may kill some all on it’s own believe it or not it’s not the only reason. Just one of a long long list of abuses I’ve endured
– Cancer at age 17. Battled that for 5 years and still carry significant issues 35 years later. One doctor butchered me so bad that even other doctors asked “Who did that to you?”. […]
Getting my weapon soon. I’m excited and nervous. It will be there just in case. I’m waiting to see this through. I want to feel better still. I’m getting there. If I can’t improve…. it is coming together.
I’m quite young (only twenty) but I feel very alone, let me begin by saying that I have spent most of the last four years by myself going more than a month at a time without seeing or speaking to anyone that I knew just the checkout person at the supermarket asking how I am sometimes I would try to respond but could not find the words, I moved back into the city less than a year ago and things where a little better then when I lived in the country side but things changed quickly, these days when I see people I always feel […]
Most people will say I’m one of the most cheerful people around but the truth is I’m not a happy person and I haven’t been for quite a long time. Nearly 2 and a half decades of putting on a smile for people has left me exhausted both emotionally and physically. I’ve lost all motivation in my life, I just want to end it and the only thing stopping me is I’m too afraid of the truama I’ll cause my family, my brothers look up to me and I’ve only started getting along with my parents again. I know that living will keep them happy […]
I’ve come here to vent. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I’m utterly lone. 🙁 Its my fault though, I push people away. I don’t feel anything…nothingness. A black hole that has eaten every part of me. I want to disapear into the nothingness, like in the movie The Never Ending Story…just swallow me whole so I vanish forever. I’ve been planning my suicide since March 2013 and each day and month that goes by I’m baffled because I should have been dead by now. I hate myself for not doing it sooner, seems like the longer I wait the harder it is for […]
I’m 21, a female and I’m living with my mom. My parents are seperated. I choose to stay inside my room all the time. I am an emotional roller coaster, I cannot contain my emotions, they’re always all over the place. I don’t know why but I hate myself for not being able to control how I should feel.
I am scared of my future, I’m scared of failing so much in life on my own, worse than how I am failing right now, living under my parent’s supervision.
I suck at relationships. My first boyfriend who I had a relationship for 6 years cheated on me. […]
Wow I haven’t been on here for awhile probably because it wasn’t helping much but it felt good to let my thoughts out haha…..anyswirls I’m still suicidal….thinking of committing suicide today actually. Not sure if I am going to though, I can see myself doing it but I’m not really sure if I can you know? I mean it’s not like everyone wants to die , it’s just I get to the point of where it feels like I do. Hmm I don’t make sense. But anyswirls it’s been …a tough week I guess. The guy I like ( oh god no not a […]
I seriously do not know what I want anymore. There have been many times when I have a dream for my future and I have no support or confidence so I end up giving up on the dream and changing it. My mom wants me to do stuff that I do not want to do, I do not want to disappoint her, but FUCK! I want to do what I want to do! I have nothing! Now with all the stress my mom has brought down on me, and the stress of not knowing what to do with my future. I don’t want this, I’d […]
This is me. Nothing in life. There is no life. Not for me. I float day to day. Do what needs to be done. Go to work. Take care of my kitties. Talk to my mom and brother on occasion. I bide my time. Sometimes when I’m driving around I just wish that a truck would smash into me and obliterate me. With my luck, and my sturdy car, if it did happen, I’d survive, broken and bruised.
I get anxiety at night. Nearly impossible to ignore urges to jump into my car and just take off, or drive to a cliff and just fukin jump […]
I haven’t been on this site in almost 2 years.. I thought abt it a lot but never had an opportunity to get on. I’ll fill yu guys in on Wats happened since last time I been here… I was in a foster home in merrillville where I started doing heroin. I got caught and tried to run away but the cops picked me up I was brought to this place called the crisis center (the A house or alternative home) it wasn’t so bad there I actually kind of miss it but of course at the time I hated it but I meet some […]
I am at this very moment, suicidal. I have no real support and have found myself here, with all of you. My husband, whom I love more than almost anything has just said to me that he has met someone online while out of town for work, and that he doesn’t want me anymore. This isn’t the first time he’s said he doesn’t want me anymore. Over the last six years, he has put me down, left me, hurt me and destroyed my being. I can honestly tell you in this moment that if I didn’t have children, I wouldn’t be here writing, I’d be […]
Im laying here in my bed. Wondering what kind of man i really am? I adore my children. I have a great job. My wife is good to me sometimes. Life shoukd be all dandy but its not!! My wife and i have been together for 7 almost 8 yrs. We fight alot and have grown distant, we differ on alot of things one being raising our kids theres her way(spoiling) then theres my way(stearn). Im blamed for being to hard on them because im the only one who is? Im the only one convinced im not a bad father. I fear my kids hate […]
Peace to all Love to all and Understanding to all… Find a way to forgive yourself, then you can forgive others for how they have hurt you. Spread love not hate <3
Seriously, I’m fifteen years old, and I want to end my own life. I feel I have no purpose. I’ve almost lost every single one of my friends, family’s not so great, and you might say I’m too young for this, but… I’ve liked girls before, and feel this is different. I feel it’s love. But no, she likes someone else. Loving someone and being nice them and stuff like that isn’t enough. Also, my thoughts on career. I wanted to be an actor/singer, something like that since I was a kid and constantly discouraged. Gave up, and grades started dropping. So, why shouldn’t I? […]
Mother, I will address you first since I have known you the longest: Well, EXCUUUUUUSE ME! So sorry my very existence screwed your life up so bad. You had a couple of options, and it’s not my fault your chosen mate was already married with a family. Now you can just go on your merry way and live out your golden years without the horror of your past staring you in the face every day. And yes, I did this on purpose so you would have to bury me. You said you didn’t think you could make it if lil bro died from his cocaine […]
Robin Williams was so incredibly fortunate to be able to die on his own terms and still have the popular opinion in his favor. It doesn’t seem to be socially acceptable to judge him or call him a coward for what he did. Rather, people are still celebrating his life and all the good he’s done, and this is what we’ll pass down to future generations. They’ll never think seriously about how he died, just his amazing talent and the legacy he left behind. It’s amazing how different it is for so many others who ended their lives.
Trying to get o across America, yo.
………………………………….. this is fucked.
I’ll buy you a new Sony laptop, and that’s it.
I can’t no more, down get me done.
I… Am… Monastic “Oblivion” Cassidy.
At the service, only celestial.
Can’t get high in the mold house.
Down into.
Instead of taking a bunch of pills in one go as I have done in the past, I have been taking 15 extra strength Tylenol a day with alcohol. This way, I won’t puke it all up. Wish me luck.