Butterfly, butterfly; come to me like a ship into the heart of the storm.
You can never give up; to the death, see you in the afterlife.
Use the Phoenix-down, come to me. Press start. Seek our palace to die.
Why do you not take me away from hell. Come.
The apex, my defect. I need somebody. To the express polar.

Tonight, tonight. The moon didn’t come out.
I love the deep jazz, of the astral.
Who is to save the undead.
Melancholy, why does that sound so beautiful.
Transcendence. Alpha-death. The other to form the trinity.
I want to sing the opera with my trip-hop. […]

You make me wanna go to sleep and never wake up.

Just like everyone else i guess i have a heartbreaking terrible life story that everyone should feel bad for me for.  There’s always someone who will have it worse, who will have it better, who will be poorer, who will be richer, who will be worse off, who will be prettier, uglier, smarter, dumber, funnier, the list that goes on and on. were all different but one of the few things we all have in common are that we want to be heard, to be noticed, and to be loved. thats why most of us are on here. so here it goes:

as far as things […]

im okay now

I have to leave this area. I live in East Greenbush NY and I have to get out. This is a horrible area to live in. To live here you either got to be rich and snotty or a druggie. The people here have bullied me all my school life going here until I transferred to an alternative school. I’m to the point I don’t talk to anyone from here anymore. I use to have friends who were decent and pretty cool. I knew there were rumors about me going around but recently, not too long ago I found out about some other rumors besides […]

Well about two weeks ago was my best friends birthday. He passed away back in 2013.. I miss him so much. We were in a car accident and I can’t believe what I saw.. Dante was driving way over the speed limit and I was asking him to slow down, especially coming around this 30 mph curve. He was going about 80 mph. I was scared and hanging on to the handle above my head. He turned around the curve and just like that smacked into an oncoming semi truck.. When I woke up all I saw was red at first.. Just everywhere. I could […]

I miss you guys….I love you all and I hope you are still alive…BTW my life sucks and did I mention it REALLY sucks?

Find love…cherish it hold onto it and NEVER LET IT GO!….something as small as love can save something as big as your life

The truth is she’s a mess. Once so well put together. Once was that happy girl that smiled twenty four- seven. The girl that had great friends and was nice to everyone. She was complete with joy. That girl faded. That girl doesn’t exist anymore. A gloomy depressed girl now exists. Battling for her life every day. Battling with life. She went from going out with friends to staying up all night crying. She shut down. No words spoken. But she woke up the next day and painted that smile on her face. Look in her eyes and you will see a world filled with […]

I was happy everyday I would be happy playing with my friends and family then things changed I went into care and I just felt so lost???? I didn’t know what to do I was in year 5 when I begun cutting it tore my family  apart and they would check  my arms for cuts they wouldn’t check my legs though in year 6 things became a lot better I was bullied  for a while though in year 7 my depression  took over I would cut until my arms and legs were red I smoked and did some drugs I didn’t know how to stop […]

I am glad to have stumbled upon this safe haven where I can be as ruthlessly negative as I please. Sometimes it feels good to just let it out.

I moved out to Corona, California in June of 2013, and bout two months into moving to the new city I still felt new to the city and developed a sadness for being a way from my old friends. I am a 16 year old guy and I’m not much of a social person. I pretty much stuck with the same friends I had living in my old town. But back then I was more social and interactive with my friends, I actually did things outside of school and home with my friends. The last time I had a girlfriend was 2012. But now living […]

My name is krysta, but you can call me tatiana. I’m 15 and I have severe depression and anxiety. I don’t really know how to put everything in the order that it happened so I guess I can just tell you bits of my story and they’ll fall together and make sense in the end.

I think my depression started in the 5th grade. I was living with my biological dad. And addict. To this day I am not sure what drugs he does. The ones I know for certain are pot and pain killers and possible meth. He was never in my life much. […]

I wish that there was someone who understood what this feels like..i wish i could trust..iv been broken by so many.. over and over.. i just cant believe there is anything other than people who lie… is there anyone out there that does not lie and cause pain for there own selfish reasons..they don’t even realize what they are doing..i hope….and if there is someone…one… how would i know?.. i want to have faith in people.. i want there to be someone else like me.. someone who knows…

will i perpetually be in this cycle of pain..waiting for someone to show me its going to be […]

Let me start off with the basics . I’m 13 almost 14 . I have 3 brothers ( my older brother is my half brother ) I’m the only girl . My dad wishes he never had my brothers and I , and his life would be so much better if we weren’t in it . He was an alcoholic and a drug user before he had us . He did a lot . Him and my mother were together for 17 year and are in the process of spilling up . My mother has walked in and out of our lives for the past […]

I turn twenty in September. I stand at 5’4”, 123 lbs, and am generally a healthy eater. I played the piano for seven years when I was younger and received copious amounts of praise for my talent. I enrolled in various activities, from fencing to tae kwon doe to art classes. I graduated high school with a 3.96 GPA and seven Advanced Placement courses under my belt. After all that, I was accepted into a prestigious university and ready to blossom into a confident, intelligent, self-sufficient and successful young woman, to break out of my shell, to take on the world.

I haven’t blossomed. In fact, I’ve completely […]

i need so much help.. im basically completely alone in life, i have no friends i suffer from severe depression and basically my only and best friend was my father. it kills me to say that he passed away and now im at a loss of what to do i love him so much..

254.

Two hundred fifty four days since I first made my decision. I went out that day with my rope to a nature trail that is rarely used nearby my work. One solid tree in the secluded woods was all I wanted. It was my birthday. I began walking down the trail, but slipped at the end of a wooden bridge, wet with the Autumn rain. I touched my head. Blood.

Weighing my options, I pulled myself up and headed back to my car. Where I fell was clearly visible by a nearby parking lot, so instead of risking the possibility that anyone that might have seen […]

I want to end this

i want to suicide so bad

but apparently i cant

i just cant

Just because of

Christianity

They say you’ll go to hell

Thats just so stupid

why cant we end our life

its ours

The police puts u into a

mental hospital if they catch u

trying to attempt suicide

well maybe o shouldnt be afraid

this might be the last thing i write

so

im not scared anymore

so bye

I have been unable to get out of my house for three months now, lethargic and just very miserable, but today was different, finally. Ive just upped my medication and i feel so much more energetic i have walked outside in the sun all day long and i dont feel like a fat fuck for once. Im determined to drop all the weight ive put on these last months… hopefully this day is going to be the first of many good ones…little panda drawing i did to up yalls mood…lets stay positive for once! 5

nothing is the same im fighting for controle im sick to my gut i need a joint im hot and sweating and for what… for love the most beautiful thing in the world yet when it even stagers form the tracks it hurts its worth it i know it is i feel like shit i feel sick i feel so fucking alone why WHY ITS NOT RIGHT iv put so much in to so meny people and this is what i get out of it a life that with out one person in it will end up back were it was why i dont know […]