Iv decided that tomorrow afternoon is the perfect day for me to kill my self. I live with just my mom and sister and they’re leaving out of town for three days early tomorrow morning at about 5am. The last words my mom told me is I don’t want you to be here (in my house) when I get back. I’m gonna do something even better for her when they leaves later that day I’m gonna lock my self in my room nail it shut with a nail gun. Then I’m going to shoot myself in the head. She chose some great last words for […]
My heart is breaking for my daughter. She has no idea how her world is about to change in a few weeks. Please pray for her.
i seriously cant take life its too much for me ….
the other day i started planning my funeral i wrote evrything down ….i just need balls to actually end it
Why am I either so angry, sad, or blank all the time?
I’d never felt more suicidal than I had felt today. I was so determined to put an end to this life within the next couple of weeks. I thought that since I had stooped so low I might as well try heroin, it’s not like I had any further to fall. So I chased the dragon, not intending to kill myself at that point but just for a release. It didn’t feel orgasmic or incredibly intense at the time, just relaxed like I could nod off at any time. So I thought that was that and I went to bed. All of a sudden I […]
Any suggestions as to why I shouldn’t just kill myself?
I can’t pay my bills because my new boss decided we didn’t need an in-house I.T. person. Forget that I’ve been at this organization for over ten years, have almost 30 years in the business and am only paid about 60% of the market rate for my role. Forget that I have been a one-person I.T., E.H. and S., Telecommunications and Facilities department plus doing all the document control and a million other things. This narcissistic pig was Board Chair before they became an “interim” Executive Director when my former boss quit (or was forced out, nobody’s talking about it) and although I’ve been well […]
I am alright and get through my day half decently, then I don’t know what…usually in the evenings I am stirred by a torrential wave of wanting to die and self harm.
Tonight it is connected to the men I wanted to love that didn’t love me. I want to drift into oblivion when I think about how I let them treat me or what I put up with/fell for. I am stupid; I am trash; I am no one.
You’re birth exsist through my pain, fear, and loneliness. You’re always putting me down and telling me to end every bit of life I try to grasp on. You always echo the problems in my life ” you’re dad fucking hates you if you died tonight he’d kick you in the whole he digs himself” or ” she turned you down because you’re an ugly piece of shit you arnt good at anything all you are is a fuck up to society somebody kill him now. I try giving in to him but I get scared 2/3 of me want to die but something […]
okay so i tried to commit suicide. i was literally doing anything to die i was crying so hard i had no resources or anything so i just took a bottle of ibuprofen and i took 65 of them i went to the mental hospital and stayed there for like two-three days and i was really unhappy because i missed graduation and graduation was really important to me because that school was hell and i would have cried if i went to graduation because i was so happy i was out. but i didnt even get to go. i said everything i had to to […]
Every day I come home to being screamed at my family hurting me calling me worthless ect. I was just so tired ive been bullied since 4th grade I am a junior in high school and all the bullying bullshit hurts some people don’t know what bullying can cause to you I have scars all over my body but yet I liked the pain I felt when that raz0r would cut my skin and the blood drip on the floor I ran to my room and I got the razor 1cut,2cuts,3cuts,4cuts I looked down I was in my own puddle of blood I was and […]
So today I met a guy really sweet and generous he went thru the same things that I have has the same things as me and we got along really well that guys in a band and going to the urban fest I can’t wait to see him again he has that guy has burn scars yet hes helping the outcasts in ways he could never imagine and I feel so glad to call him a ftiend that guy didnt say his name yet when we met next time ill update this that guy has a wonderful personality and everythings I am happy for him […]
I feel bad and fucked up again .
I am only damn young and i am ruening my own life.people say i can be happy with what i have but i am not .i don’t have much friends and my dad hates me .i have been feeling like this alot just 3 houres ago i was about to cut again.i just dont know what to do anymore i have been to special help centrums and all those things but they help me only for 4-5 weeks . And after that my pain is back .i once had an ex a whille ago and i loved him […]
The thing that i hate about therapy is that every time you walk in the first thing they ask you is “how do you feel today?” and honestly when my therapist asks me that question i can never find the answer to it. I do not know how i feel, i am left speechless from such a simple question. Every time they tell me there is something wrong with me, i feel like i am an outcast, being left out from many things because of my depression, taking two different kinds of pills just so i can be normal? What is that? Taking pills to […]
So I feel I have hours maybe even just minutes left to live in my life. I am to the point where days are not even possible anymore. I have given up. My body is done and my mind is done. I can’t live through any of this anymore. I have everything in place and all I have to do is do my first step and then the last step that would finish me off for good. At this point I feel the only thing or person that could stop me is that one girl. Who I thought I could trust and tell everything to, […]
I have been plagued by reality since I was still a kid…
I am a Broomhilda,in a world that loves Diana’s…
Short, broad, and dieting since I was 12.
I was a goodyear blimp at 10 and I nearly died from the pain then.
I kept thinking that things would get better.
That I could overcome biology. That if I just tried hard enough I would’t be the fat chick.
Starving myself to death on and off for decades has changed nothing.
I’m still 75 lbs over weight. Still limited by this to nothing and no one.
Still dying inside everyday.
Nothing I do changes the reality I face. The you are so pretty […]
I find out Thursday if I’m going to lose my house in the divorce. He has spent well over $100,000 of my money and jerks off to “Rape Galaxy,” yet is a very prominent person in the Jewish world. I’m not starting my life all over again at 50. He can have the house so my daughter can continue to be raised here. August 8 can’t come soon enough.
clinging to pillows and sheets
praying monsters go away
demons at my bedside
holding vigils as i pray
branded and carved
tattooed and stained
numb to the world
fed novocaine
I am just tired I am so sorry.
I hate the smell of my own family nowhere is home for me
They tried to make me ok but the damage is done. Interacting with them does not make ne feel warmth or joy or anything at all i feel like i do not have a family. They became strangers. I am a disappointer in every sense but my sister isnt she is small and fragile and beautiful i hope she can be everything i failed to be. Baby you are a fairy abd im past the age of believeing them so trust me you truly are
I had […]