I thought for once, I’d be able to be okay. It’s hard to think when all these thoughts are in your head. You’re like a ticking time bomb. The wrong person cuts a wire, and you explode. And you’re nothing. Because they made you feel worthless. Like everything you ever did for them was nothing.

i call this dark place home. i am stuck living with my crazy family. but i will get out of here one way or another. help me if possible.

it’s so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. its not a mental thing– its a physical thing. it is physically hard to open your mouth and talk. the words come out like your retarded and you just cant do anything about it. we were born to die, right? so i might as well just end it now… its crazy how this world can be so confusing. i try to be someone im not so people love me… i fake a smile so people dont question me. i pretend that it doesnt hurt but in reality im in so much pain its crazy. […]

I don’t know if I’m full-on suicidal.  But I like the feeling of a blade on my skin, the blood running down my ankle, my neck, my arm, whatever it may be.  I like the numbness it brings.  Maybe that’s why I cut, to bring on the feeling that makes sure I can keep going for another day.  But I was found out when I actually cut a word on my wrist.  My docs blamed it on a medication I was taking, but I know better.  Are any of you scared someone will find out that you’re suicidal, if people don’t know?  Are you scared […]

Tonight I found myself driving my brother home because my uncle had made a statement implying that we’re both wasters living off the state. My brother was seething with anger and rejected the notion but for me it’s put things into perspective. All my life I’ve made excuses for myself and thought that I should be judged less harshly because I have a learning disability and suffer from anxiety and depression. I thought my family should love me no matter what. But now I realise the world doesn’t give a fuck about my problems, my weaknesses, or the bad cards it’s dealt.  I can’t afford […]

The saga is dead. All the men for themselves.
This is what’s left when faith is dead.
Walking in white, quietly in the dark.
The spades encloses the heart.
Stooped, under goddamn degradation.
Commander of the faith, the saga is dead.
The party from death to life. I’m still down, pick up a few other.
Though, I really am vowed. Steppingstone to be simply.
Listening to trip-hop, what’s up?

she looked at her blades

then looked at her wrist

she misses the feeling

her scars are fading

she was staying strong for so long

she finially gave in

she put the blade on the her wrist

she knew all that work was for nothing

she began to cry

she sat there in pain

becuase she knew she was insane

I think about it all the time… at least a few times a day. Suicide. I dont think about how it would affect others.. i dont think about anything but myself. But i never seem to care. I want it so bad in so many different ways. But then i see this kid.. i see how their family and friends are effected. How sad it makes everybody and how much it makes other ppl appreciate their lives and their friends and families lives. Its a curse and a blessing at the same time. It doesnt make me want to end things any less, but it […]

we bleed just to know that were alive. you hurt yourslef on the outside trying to kill the monster on the inside. the worst thing about being sad is that your not really sure about what makes you happy anymore. its like i can compose my self when i with people but when im alone i totally just break down… I’ll adimt it, i stress out, i cry, i hide my emotions, i fake a laugh, i hurt but you know what? i’m trying and its not very easy

i realized that i am dead. i might not be dead too other people… but inside i know that i am. i wish someone knew i needed help becuase im way to scared to tell anyone that im this close to just ending it. any advise…

Id like to share from an existential level and some insights that have occurred.  I have explored numerous modalities to tap into that higher awareness our world so readily speaks about.  And yes, I have had amazing experiences… But nevertheless, one always returns to the world of man.

i hear many spiritual teachers say that this planet is a school, a place to learn for souls, and that we create our experience before we entered the womb of our biological human mother.but honestly, what I see, is this logic is pure bullshit, cloaked and lessened with the same idea of man: that one must struggle to exist, […]

I always find that talking helps so much, to anyone. So i guess i just wanted to say if anyone wants to talk at all about anything at all comment and we will find a way to talk. I can’t say i will give you advice, or even promise that talking to me will help, but i wont judge or give hate and hopefully we can help each other. Let me know.

I feel so fucking useless. There is so much suffering and the world is tearing itself apart around me and here i am being a whiny little ***** helping nothing and no-one doing no good for anyone, anyone at all. I am useless.

I have no right to feel sad all the time. I should be fucking appreciative of everything i have because i know there are people out there that would give anything to live the life i do. But i’m too fucking selfish to be appreciative. The world is so unfair, that people like me who deserve nothing can have a good life and […]

palying with friends turned into playing with blades. broken toys turn into broken hearts. best friends turn into strangers. happiness turns into pain. this isnt a phase it is reality. this thing about pain is it demands to be felt. i just wish i could have one more day with out being sad. its like im drowning and everyone above me is just saying swim. you see i cant be foxed no matter how many cuts i make no matter how many pills i take. i will always live in pain… theres not a thing i can do about it.

My email is always open to anyone to needs to talk about anything:

Self harm

Depression

Suicide

Or just need a friend 🙂

Selseyc@gmail.com

You know, I honestly think of ways to die every single day.. Ive come up with probably hundreds of ways and thought of olaces no one would find me.. I cant do it because I have little lives to take care of and if I dont, they will have no one… My husband literally just left me.. Like an hour ago.. He called to tell the kods he loved them..which is great.. He is a good guy.. I am at a loss for words other than when will it end? :'(

It makes me sad to think more than a year ago I wrote my suicide note. I’ve been looking through my old diaries and posts and realised something,i’ve never really been happy in life. Even my diaries from my childhood I was writing about how sad I was. This past year has taught me a lot about myself and the world. I guess I never really had a chance in llife to start with. I grew up with a mother who constantly lies,use to be in a mental home and is horrible.  MY dad is the only person I can rely on for the truth,but […]

darkness consumes me, all of me. all i see is darkness. My mind is full of dark thoughts you see, all i want is to be set free. feeling this way all the times makes me even more depressed… i need to be saved or i need to go. i just wish that my parents loved me, i wish i didnt cut i wish i didnt depend on pills to make me feel better. i wish that i was differnt…

I’m numb. I don’t know where to go from where I am right now. My life has never been better, yet it seems to be falling in on itself. I have a supportive family, yet their efforts can’t fix this emptiness. Depression can be remedied. I am detached from this life.

I sleep most of the day, because in my dreams I feel. Once I’m awake I’m dead inside. Nothing is worth the effort when there’s no reward. I know my mind is sick. I have an autoimmune disease against my spirit. I hate myself for being able to see it, yet do nothing about it. […]

I honestly don’t think we all come to this site to share a sad heart whelming story, but to try and let others know that someone does care. So, we participate on this site, we comment, and try. That’s all we can do is try right? Then you have the people who come here to make people feel worse then they already might be feeling. This is almost like a legit facebook for issue discussion. I’m not going to write your classic suicide note or ever judge anyone here, because I cannot say I do understand, but I can always try. I like to look […]