I’ve seen this same sentiment expressed using the example of crumpling a piece of paper up, then smoothing it out…..I like to think that by taking the extra step of smoothing the paper out, or gluing together the broken plate, an act of healing occurs. True, the damaged object is visually and physically changed, but the healing act of restoration keeps the object whole. And there is something precious about the act of coming together to achieve restoration….understanding from where the tools to achieve the restoration come.

In the novel The Nun’s Story, the Superior General […]

Yes you. You know who you are…if you could be by my side right now I may feel less darkened by the demons.

I miss you.

because my problems are so contrast.

through this hell I became born. a contra warrior.

I am the dead Ash. The story of the black ash.

the story where at the end the sad hero.

what happened when it reached zero.

was there another realm. or did I fuse with Gengar.

what is the psychic world. I am a Gengar.

I can levitate and fly. I have psy-power.

I can control and manipulate things and matter, and even people.

A freaking Gengar. What in the psychic world.

There used to be a Gengar, when he found the holy spirit.

Together, they went to go save the world.

Alakazam, is the guru of peace.

I type with […]

  I don’t think I want to kill myself  quite as badly as I just want to stop participating in modern day life. We go to school, get a job, buy shit we really don’t need, and rarely ask “why the fuck am I doing this”?

If you live in society you need money to pay for essentials like food, shelter and clothing. But do you really need a cellphone, a car, furniture, credit cards, internet access, health care, etc? Is any of that essential for survival? No, but you want it, so you work in order to earn […]

I came across this site a year back. How did I find it? I typed the word “suicide””. And this came out. During that time that was in my mind. It was an acknowledgement. A Consideration. Possibly an option. Or a plan in development. That one word speaks for itself.

Today I had a breakdown. I suppose it happens every now and then. Some call it the ups and downs in life. I call it the fucked up times in life. And i was listening to some sad music but the ones I came across were mostly depression and self harm and suicide. I decided to […]

So I don’t think I will be…

My boyfriend even told me I’m a pain in the ass… why are you even with me if I’m that fucking bad… I might as well leave you so your life can improve…

life is full of surprises right and i have faith in it too but i dont get it why im being so impatient. there are things which i let go of and trust me i never had any regrets but these days it is different story,  i always value my principles and morals and always used to think that if people come to me because they think im someone who have power and money they are not sincere. BUT lol due to this i have been isolated by my family they dont value me anymore they only pity me and that is quite upsetting i […]

If you can’t trust your own mind, can you really trust anything at all? I live in complete uncertainty, I can’t rely on myself or my own feelings. I constantly feel a whole bunch of nothing, or a whole bunch of everything. One day I’ll be head over heals for someone, and without warning I’ll wake up the next day and the only thing I feel for them is completely platonic, strictly friendly. The only thing I’ve found that feels right in this galaxy of wrong is completely impossible, a slap in the face. I vow never to have feelings for anyone, so why am […]

It’s my fault, I made him mad.
So he does it, again and again.
No clues or evidence to be found.
Scared and lost, not knowing childhood.
Don’t move, don’t make a sound.
If he finds me i’ll be never leave this place.
Stuck here for eternity, crying and begging-
No more!
Please, not again! I’m sorry that I did something wrong.
Again
That smell, the pain and the guilt.
The words: the things he says
so cold and cruel
Why can’t he just end it already?
I don’t wanna be here anymore
Can’t you see my brokenness in my eyes?
The jagged stitching on […]

I am ‘the thing’.
Evolve me. Clap- clap. Clap- clap.
From hell. Clap- clap. Clap.
Evolve me. Evolve me. Clap- clap. Clap-clap.
From hell. From hell! Clap- clap- clap!
From hell! From hell! Clap- clap- clap- clap- clap- clap.
Forever and ever. Always and forever.
My name is Nevermore.

I am ‘the thing’. Celestial Slowbro and Golduck.
Only eye-candy. Staryu and Starmie.
Let me be. Let me be. Take me. Pull me.
Oracle, I have monthly bounty.
Let us go, and grow plants and flowers, perhaps.
Let me go train like a fire pokemon. Never end rock pokemon.
Machamp is the champ, he can beat Mewtwo.

I have become determined to prove myself and make others stop treating me like i dont matter.Im going to try a more serious attempt and gods will be done.I thought i had a reason for doing it but i dont.Apart of me says good riddance to this god awful planet apart of me says one more chance.Im getting older ill be twenty two in september.My sister will be off having a life in college.all my brothers and sisters will have left me.my parents will be dead ill be lost and confused I hate people who cry about boyfriends and girlfriends on here.i want to commit […]

So I started talking with a member of this community (well, a member of the unofficial side to this community, at the very least [shakinbakin]) and we were sharing tracks from our own soundcloud streams. Ended up getting the idea that we could combine his musical abilities with my spoken word poetry.

Whilst we were working on a new piece together, he started to mess around with one of the old pieces that I’ve posted here before, “There Once Lived A Man” so thought I’d share it here again, this time with the new arrangement.

Like always, the poem is posted below to help those that have […]

ill never be good enough, ill always just be a stupid crazy whale. like yesterday when i was walking down the street and someone yelled out “whale”! and i couldnt stop crying. my boyfriend treats me like shit , but thats probably because i am a piece of shit. im crazy. and i cant live with myself anymore. i dont know how to live anymore. i cant wait til i get the balls to just down all my meds at once.

My problems are probably minimal compared to what others have gone through but it still feels like a lot to me. I feel like my family hates me, they always yell at me, including my sister who is literally trying to control my life at the moment. My parents think i’m immature and probably doing drugs because i like going out with my friends and so they yell at me for nothing. Really they look for reasons to yell at me and everytime I’m yelled at i end up cutting, I don’t want to cut but it’s temporary relief and for a second I forget […]

Final frontier and the music is sooooooo beautiful.
I need to find the way. Go- go- go, little parasect.
Let me summon my inner pokemon spirit.
Go- go- go, little parasect. You the living so fast.
Wait for the muk! Wait for the muk!

Singing to the melody. Butterfree- oh butterfree.
The pokemon and the zodiac race. Charizard was the first.
Ponyta, how do we cross the ocean. To the mystic fire mountain!
Be ready! You must be level fifty! Run run run!
What about Machoke and Rhydon?

What about Machoke and Rhydon. I wonder.
Rock Pokemons, we must travel South! It is where our earth auras […]

I’ve been ‘suicidal’ for awhile. I’ve attempted, been hospitalized, and seen counselors. I never told anyone the real reason, deep down. I told enough to convince people but I was afraid to share the real stuff.

Last night I was writing my suicide note when the closest person in my life, unknowingly, helped me. He started throwing these rubber toys at me and it made me laugh. He’s been teaching me how to shoot rubber bands, too.

But after he went home, and I was there all alone, I knew that I was on the very edge. And one little game wouldn’t take me back to that […]

I cry every time I hear this song. And no I have not read the book/seen the movie.

The words just calm me down, I feel numb but bliss.

Kodaline – All I Want

 

All I ever wanted to do is be happy. How can I expect anyone to love me if I can’t even love myself.

My life isn’t as bad as some, but that doesn’t mean I am any less dead inside. I have thought about dying since  I was in grade 6. That was before I even knew what the words depression  and suicide meant. I learnt about cutting in grade 8, told myself I would never do it, I thought as soon as I did it would be over. In grade 10 my best friend told me she did it, that’s when I realized cutting didn’t […]