Controlling the thoughts

Just when I thought that my life was perfect going just right 2 people from my college dare to make me look like such an idiot to my BEST FRIEND! How can they make her choose between me and them, she is my best friend. Now my best friend wants to keep our relationship undercover, how can anyone live like this???? These people do not even know me at all and all of a sudden think that they have the right to judge other people…no one is perfect, especially not them! I feel like my life is crashing down right now and I feel betrayed! One of them even texted me saying that I am dead to him…if i am dead to him it will make no difference to them that I am dead! I might as well just kill myself right now and just end the misery. Me and my best friend are really close but now at college I have to pretend that we ain’t , I can’t even text her in case she is with them and they see that we are talking. What is really annoying is the fact that these boys are so immature and little that i makes me feel sick that I ever met them…I just feel like this is the end sometimes because without my friends I feel all alone and feel like I have no one to talk to.