Every time I seem to like someone its strange.. like when I’m not with them all I do is think about them and get butterflies in my stomach when they text or something.. But when I’m with them I don’t feel anything towards them, it’s kinda like nothing.. like all I see is a person and don’t feel anything. Does ayone else get this?

So close to cut myself again
But I still can’t do anything
There is just so much pain
I still want to do something

I’m scared of every day
my brain can’t stop thinking
I just want to stay
But I’m leaving

I need help
I’m too young to die
I really need help
And all I can do is cry

I always here it. Suicide is so selfish it makes everyone around you unhappy.

Here’s what i have to say to that…

Suicide is not selfish, if anything, stopping suicide is selfish, because it’s selfish to make someone stay here on this world when they are in so much pain. Or even if they think that they are having a bad effect on the world. I think that people have the right to kill themselves without being reprimanded by people who have no idea what it’s like…

Also, if someone kills themselves people should be happy for them, they discovered there emotions and acted upon them. If you […]

I’ve been taking 10 advils (ibuprofen) 200 mg each every day and i have no idea why.

I’ve been telling myself that it’s because i like the pain but i know that’s not true

Maybe it’s because it will probably end up killing me. I always wanted to know what it would be like to die

from the moment I could talk, all ive ever wanted was to be helpful to someone, and make them happy, actually be worth something….. yet all my life I have felt that I never help anyone….I feel like no matter how hard I try, I will always remain usless and worthless….I feel like no one ever wants or needs me, and I don’t feel loved….. I just want to make someone smile…… but all I ever do is hurt them and make them angry……nobody loves me, nobody cares about me…..I just wish I could die….it would spare everyone from wasting their valuble effort on someone […]

i really dont see meaning in nothing. i just want a courage to stop this hell that is to exist and to deal with problems that will never stop.

nothing keeps me wanting to live here.. oh god, how i hate my parents for being so egoistic and putting a life in a hell of world. i think that having children is the most egoistic act ever, you only put a life there and fuck it and if the life just not feel ok with that, ohh you’re a douche.. you have problems.. NO, you that put me here that have problem. not me. fuck you.

i […]

I just want help or maybe to stop living or run away from everything. I’m at university and I have friends but I’ve lied and cheated to everyone and haven’t lived up to my parents reputations or expectations. I want to be alone away from everything. I think about killing myself but more than anything I want my guilt and sadness to stop. I feel awful and horrible for the way I’ve acted but I can’t go back on my actions. Apologizing to people 4-6 months after the fact doesn’t solve anything. I feel horrible. I just want to be done with everything. I can’t […]

I wonder what would happen if I just said goodbye. If I just went away…I haven’t been happy since daddy passed away. He was the only one that made me feel loved….How do I get better? How do I release? My wrist craves the nick of a razor but I just can’t give in.

17 year old girl kills herself
How does that sound?
She traveled to Haiti, helped build a school, was part of the soccer team, contributed more than 200 hours of service to her community.
Does that make my life anymore valuable than the next victim?
What about being disrespectful, to my parents, my sister, myself
Do I deserve death now?

Every time I feel down an depressed I tell myself I don’t have he right to, there are so many people in worse conditions with a smile on their face and here I am complaining
I don’t deserve not have the right to feel sad
I […]

It just hit me when I was reading one of the posts. Remembered this speech by Samwais Gamgee to Frodo in
Lotr: The Two Towers. Now that if something probably touches everyone in at least some way. A new day will come.

Frodo: I can’t do this Sam

Sam: I know
It’s All Wrong
By rights we shouldn’t even be here.
But we are.

It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo.
The ones that really mattered.
Full of darkness and danger, they were.
And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end.
Because how could the end be happy?
How could the world go back to the […]

Death Is Only Selfish to the Living

I find no join in life, no hope for the future.  Loneliness is all I’ve ever known.  I don’t know who I am, I live vicariously through others as if I’d made a conscious decision to die within myself.  My soul is weary and my flesh is weak.  The odds have never been in my favor.  The thought of living another day pains me.  Death seems so peaceful.

I don’t know what to say, so I’ll just ramble.

For the past two weeks the only thing that has been on my mind is putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger.

Three years ago I would have said that there may still be hope for me. Five years ago I would have said that suicide is a cowards way out. But now, I see it a bit differently.

Now, I see just how much strength it takes to abandon whatever it is that convinced you to stay for so long and enter permanently the into the unknown. I understand that it isn’t a way […]

Well, where to begin. I’m new to this whole thing. I figured, why not express how I to a bunch of people I don’t know? So, here goes it.

Im 16, no I’m not perfect,  no I don’t have the worst lifestyle a human could have, but it could definitely be a hell of a lot better. I am now a sophomore in high school, and if anybody told you that high school was easy, they’re lying to you. Quit while you have the chance.

I have been bullied since the fourth grade. Crazy right? Who knew that girls could be so mean. I was always quiet, […]

Nothing can make me stop thinking about killing myself. I went to the hospital and thought I was better but every time I take my anti depressants or any type of medicine I feel such an urge to take the whole bottle. Anytime I’m driving I think about crashing the car. Anytime I’m on a tall building I think of jumping off. I watch cop shows on TV and wonder how great it would be to be one of those dead bodies. Even when I’m not in a bad/sad mood I think about it all the time. Help. Please.

Well, been with this girl for the past 4 years. The most amazing girl, did everything she can to me, gave me all the love that she could. Everything was perfect.. A few months ago though, I got bored, and ended up cheating, and told her. The girl I cheated with had gotten pregnant.. Of course, my gf left me. Told me if she knew it wasn’t mine then maybe we could work through it. Well that was 2 weeks ago, I get a call this morning saying the baby didn’t make it. So I called her and she said “well that was last week, […]

I’m just simply worthless. my only escape from life is sleep. if only I could choose to never wake up.

I have been back home to my country to attend my niece’s wedding, it was beautiful event, but it made realize how so alone I am and I have nobody to say all this to as my family doesn’t know that I am ill with my mental health and that I have been suicidal for last for months and that I had made 7 unsucessful atttempts at ending it all and was twice in psych hospital to stop me killing myself as on those two ocassions I would have not survived if they hadn’t stopped me.

In my visit to my country, my friend told me […]

Several years ago, I made a pact with myself that I would hold on for the sake of people who had cared enough to get me out of a bad situation. I told myself to focus on school, and that by the time I graduated, I may have started wanting to live again. The issue is, I’m looking at finishing soon, and I was with these people today. I know no matter what happens I will never completely regain my what’s left of my mind, and I tried to prevent hurting the few people I care about, but I just got the feeling, not for […]

I’m the dying guru guy. A skeleton would have been more exquisite.
A leaf blunt in my mouth. These rotting depths, Seraphim pray for me.
I have never done wrong. In the art of dying. Can you be a next door.
In my labyrinth. Brone, drive me … a little to the east. Set up camp in the land.
I can find a way. This can be, our ground zero. I’m the rotting celibacy dude.
Be a man. And come see me. I’m the dying guru dude.
Be the dude, and come see me.
Haha.

First, we need to crack my egg back to life. There’s […]

There is this guy.. We’ve been seeing eachother for a month or two now. Initially we agreed to just be fuck buddies, but feelings got in the way and it’s all a mess now. He’s 24 and i’m 17.. We spend all the time we can together.. We kiss, cuddle, text the whole time and basically act like we’re going out.. We stopped sleeping with other people bexauze we really like eachother.. He’s amazing and perfect in every single way!! But he told me that he doesn’t want a relationship because of the age difference which breaks my heart, but I understand where he is […]