Yesterday I decided to make a tumblr, and I feel like I can express myself there betrer than here on this site. So probably I will be less on this site. I’ll try to give an update once in a while, but forgive me if I don’t.
Well, I am only 14 years old girl, but I already drink this amazing drinks. Beer, vodka, whiskey… Just almost everything. I started when I was 10 years old, when I started noticing my parent’s problems. And when I started to drowning in depression, my mother started to telling me everything about my father. Everything she told me were lies ’cause my father told me everything about mother. My father was right, my mother always screams and she’s always angry when I say something good about my father.
My mother was calm when I was angry at my father, but when I started to protecting my […]
Married 20 yrs, separated 6 wks. Have 3 kids. Â He asked for divorce, incompatible marriage. I’ve been coping w depression, loneliness, pining, I can’t cope anymore. I’m 48 yrs old, I want to take my life cos each day is becoming too difficult to tolerate alone. I’ve no family, no friends in this b looming end if the earth. No self esteem, no interest in anything, walk around like a zombie, don’t think of anything but his face and all that he did for me, his presence that I relied on day n nite. There’s nobody accompanying me anywhere now. Â What can I […]
I’m on 200mg of sertraline. What will happen if I take more? Will I be okay?
Well, for some unknown reason I am just so deeply sad tonight and the tears are flowing. I am leaving early tomorrow morning to make the 5 hour drive from PHX to L.A.  ….. Perhaps I should just keep on driving and make that visit to the GGB………yep…..it’s a bad one tonight….where is the positive energy I’ve been trying to offer on SP…..it sure isn’t with me tonight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4ZjXt0Fl58
I was told it was going to get better. But, it is considered better if it still lasted 5 years. Where ever I go, I visualize different ways to kill myself with the objects around me. I tried to use my “imagination of my death” in my horror stories of torture. Its gets me to wonder if I really want to torture myself to death because of my self hatred or fall asleep to my death. This goes through my head everyday.
…when i saw pain of others, i forgot my own pain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQbXsOA7F2Y
only one in a thousand is perhaps happy
some weep for somebody, some weep for somebody
in every house this lamentation is
my pain is so little in front of them
This is the face of it, this is what is called life
sometimes its irony makes me laugh, sometimes tears come out
confluence of pain and happiness it is
my pain is so little in front of them
embers in everybody’s heart, water in everybody’s eyes
ask whoever you want, everybody carries a painful story
in pain whole existence is
my pain is so little in front of them
how much pain there is in this this world
my […]
This site is so sad yet so important – even having a rant or sharing to a cyber-shoulder can help.. can’t it? I have been increasingly thinking of suicide again.. and when I say thinking of it I mean it really has always been there. As with a lot of people on here who have suffered with mental and emotional baggage a big part of their life… they understand. I fall into a bracket where it has always been there looming.. but I guess it gets to a point in your life (I’m an oldie at 48) where you realise you have put a damn […]
Hello I’m 25yrs young I like that word better I’ve felt this way for awhile now I attempted suicide once already and died for about 5 seconds, long enough to hear the heart monitor flatline and feel life slip away, when I was a kid I had believed in finding something to believe in or hold onto, when I was younger I would look into the mirror and this feeling of sadness ignite in my heart I’d stare through the tears and tell myself it’ll change it’ll go away I used to wake up at night and cry until I fell asleep again sometimes my […]
Don’t leave me
Don’t leave me
I can’t handle myself without you
Without you
These tears won’t fill my emptiness
I have this ache inside my chest.
Although we want to live and die.
Can we save this without goodbye.
Don’t leave me
Don’t leave me
I can’t stand to live without you
Without you
My lies have become my reality,
Is there such thing of you and me?
I can’t forget smiles and tears,
That help me through my biggest fears.
So please don’t leave me
Don’t leave me.
Cause I can’t even stand to try,
If we’re going to say goodbye.
Goodbye
This is goodbye
cause I […]
To whoever is reading this, i wanted to let you know that I won’t be coming back. Don’t bother searching for me because i’ll already be gone…all i ever wanted was to be happy, free, and loved by everyone….I kept telling myself “just give it a day, It’ll get better…” But now 3 years later….It’s even worse….I’ve tried therapy, i’ve tried medications, i’ve tried going to the hospital….But none of these treatments can make me feel “Alive” again…I feel like a Freak….A Mental person who needs to be locked up before i hurt someone….They think i’m going to hurt someone….But in reality….I’m scared that THEY […]
I lay awake at night until the fatigue hits. My doctor has taken me off my sleeping medication. I beg my mom to let me take the pills that are left and she refuses. I think about awful thoughts when I lay awake. I think it will be better in the morning, but I know that’s false hope
You know, it seriously takes alot time and courage for someone who’s really shy and and the loner type to actually post anything. Alot of times I just press cancle on a full page post, so feedback would be nice. Also a comment to other posts that have no replies wouldn’t hurt either.
This is my first post, so let me start off by saying, yes I am quite uh ‘suicidal’ and I have no idea what I’m doing here, or why I’m posting my personal thoughts here. I’ll post a bit about myself later because noone wants to read another 100 paragraphs of another […]
My heart hurts from all the pain, so much that every beat leaves me with a sense of fatigue. Im just so tired of it all. I feel like its just me here alone looking inside myself trying to find something but the room is getting darker. i need some light.. some hope so my heart could medicate. Its been through so much trauma dont know how much more of it my heart could take.
label me hopeless, label me a coward, label me with whatever name you want to. I’m coming to the conclusion that my life is nothing but a reflection of  the dog shit on the corner of the street. you see.. the more i live the more i begin to realize this and the options i have in order for me to be happy are becoming slimmer and slimmer. Im on the cusp of being homeless and my mom wont help me out. I dont know what i did to make her so angry so fed up, honestly im fed up with myself. alot of things […]
I sit by the computer
Waiting for a response
Someone to talk to
Just one person
Thats all I want
Someone to talk to
That is there
But I mean
Who would?
Who would talk to a depressed and suicidal girl like me?
Who would sit and take their time to talk to me?
People have lives I understand that
But all I just want is someone to talk to
I feel so lonely sometimes
When I just sit here
With the music on playing softly
Just waiting for a response, but never getting one
Oh so lonely…
Im 24 and have decided that I cannot any longer liVe my life.
My probkems started years ago..my parents were both very neglecting, Â and favoured drinking over their children regularly.
I was beaten by my dad until I was 18
Me and my mother have always been strangers…she just dosent like me
I was for all that reasonably popular un school but I have been battling severe insecurities about myself since 14
I found love 5 years ago this week
But the relationship is non existent and my girlfriend is only using me for money before she finishes with me for someone else
She didn’t even want to see me for our […]