I could never say this in public. I get such a hopeful feeling when I read about SP members who have escaped this life. It’s tragic that they, or anyone, would suffer so much that they have to kill themselves. But being in that hell myself, I can only focus on the escape, imagining myself in their place, and using that to remind myself that there is an end to this pain.

I guess we talk & think about it so much, some of us for years, that suicide starts to feel like an impossible dream. Sometimes the more we obsess over an idea, the more […]

I’ve attempted to overdose on many different things.. Last night I tried to overdose on what was left of my 200mg seraquel… When I awoke I couldn’t move my body, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t function… My dad came over to bring me food and had seen what I had done.. I reminded him of my aunty, she committed suicide a few years ago.. He kicked me to the ground.. My boyfriend abused me for the pathetic attempt. Something wants me to be alive, and slowly suffer.. 

I know im a pathetic person, I know I’m mental, I know I’m manipulative, im […]

my boyfriend has threatened to kill himself numerous times over the last 3 yrs. he was discharged from the navy 3 years ago due to his problems, and he’s been in and out of psych hospitals ever since.

yesterday he threatened again to kill himself. he bought a rifle recently and has told me several times he’s going to kill himself. he threatens and goes through bad thoughts and then he’s ok. i never know what to do. i have called rescue 4 times and they have taken him to hospital. twice while he was still on base. it’s been like this for 3 yrs.

well, i […]

My numbness takes me over,

Moving me as it likes.

Today it took my razor,

And quickly began to slice.

With blood rolling down my arms,

All I could do is cry.

Cry, cry, and cry some more.

Slowly collapsing onto my bathroom floor.

I begin to question the fact that Iexsit.

Why wass I placed on this Earth, if this the life I must live?

My numbness again takes over

Grabbing a bottle of pills.

It shoves them down my throat,

One pill at time.

I once again collapse,

Crying a little less.

Then, a smile speads across my face knowing I’ll soon be dead.

i just realized that i stayed up the whole night drinking and doing nothing. its 7 AM. and i’m quite drunk. is this bad? I’m usually pretty good about my alcohol consumption.

New poem. Had some help this time from SP’s very own Chataway.

Like usual, poem is beneath the audio for those that can’t decipher an Australian accent.

Tears

Bullfrog:

So it’s taken me a while but I’ve come to a realisation
that the worst thing one can have in life is expectations.
It’s like a revelation that all the heartache in my life has been of my own creation.
Being broke wouldn’t be a disappointment if I hadn’t expected wealth
and finding it difficult to move wouldn’t dismay had I not expected health.
Being lonely wouldn’t tear at the heart of my very worth had I never trusted and […]

Hi.  This is probably going to be weird. I’m actually in 6th grade right now and I found this website. It matches me. Because this is the only website that I could write my thoughts about.

••

It’s 3:07 am and I can’t sleep. I just can’t. I’m so tired and I want to rest. So I have a friend that always judge everything. I mean sometimes I ask myself why am I friends with this person? I mean she punched me on my stomach which really hurts for me because she doesn’t know anything about me except for the things […]

I use to think of myself being better than anyone else.But it aint worth it if u don’t prove it to the society, i realized it recently that I am the biggest failure and not a trust worthy person. in these past few weeks i have done so many regrettable  things.1) i took money without asking my parents 2)I have failed my classes and coursework which my father went through a lot to get a seat in that college 3) i failed my group in completing the coursework, which ruined the relation between my best friend and me. so i had to talk with my father about this the first […]

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I believe that is true but life gets so hard and out of control sometimes that for most of us we feel it is the only way out. It think that life is a gift that people misuse. Think about every person that has ever done you wrong, hurt you, and driven you to the point where you just want out…. Now forgive them. Sounds hard right? I’m telling you to forgive the person that has mistreated you, beat you, or made you feel worthless. if you forgive them you will have this peace of mind […]

How much do you actually want to die?

10, but I have to give myself a 9.9 because my family would fall apart if I do actually do it.

Every now and then I will find a cut that I don’t remember doing to myself. I can tell that it was self inflicted, but I don’t remember doing it. Does this happen to anyone else?

Im 16, I do independent study. People just say “join a club” or “find a hobby” but I dont even know where to start. I dont really have any hobbys,  I kickbox and do jiu jitsu 3 times a week but its only adults in there. What are some examples of youth clubs that are usually in towns? I can feel myself cracking without anyone to share this this life with.

Oh, won’t you stay with me?
Cause you’re all I need
This ain’t love it’s clear to see
But darling, stay with me

I’m trying my hardest every day to be happy and some days my mind over powers all and i end up being mean to the people i love. I’m still struggling with my weight but i’m working on it. Thank you to anyone who responded to my last post, I’m thankful that there is someone out they that will listen to people like me.

To those who are thinking of killing thelmselves ….STOP…take a moment to consider the reality of what will happen.  Suicide is the single most selfish thing you could do.  The pain you feel right now will not be gone, it will simply be transferred to the people you leave behind.  They will never have a chance to say “I love you” again, they will never have a chance to give you a hug or a pat on the back for something good you may not have even known you were doing, they will never have a chance to tell you a joke and see your beautiful and unique […]

I was on my way home from a rehearsal on Saturday evening. I wasn’t having a particularly bad day but it wasn’t great either. I don’t know why, but I just became overwhelmed with feelings and all the shit that’s been going on lately. I hate it when this happens. I’ll be completely fine one second and then the next I’m bawling my eyes out or I’m so angry that I start hitting things or myself. i don’t understand why this happens. it’s scary because I was literally standing on the platform at the train station waiting for the train to come so I could […]

Besides sleep, gaming is my really only other means of escape. So what do you use to escape your own reality. And I know it’s a sad means of escaping, but honestly I don’t hardly have the energy for much else.

I really need to rant. I’m 4 days away from the anniversary of the murder I witnessed and I am fucked up.  The last thing I need is nosy-asses in my life.

My nosy-ass neighbors will not stop getting into my business. I am well deep into planning my own demise, but I’ve determined that I certainly can’t hang myself from a tree because these fuckers would call the cops. I swear, they know more about my life than I do. They’ve often remarked that they noticed my bedroom light was on. Really? Why the fuck is that their business??

I can’t go into my fucking yard […]

~ The reason we self-harm, is because we are not able to handle changes ~

This is a quote I wrote a few days ago. I was really thinking about a lot of things, when I came to the point I started to realize this. I’ll explain the quote. People self-harm for certain reasons, for example because they are depressed, sad, lonely or mad (but there are many more reasons). But where does this come from? It comes from changes we’re not able to deal with. Like you’re living your life, and you’re happy with that. But at a certain moment your house burns down, that […]

I really want to die. To much is changing and I don’t like it. I’m probably getting coupled by a good friend I kinda have crush on that I don’t want to accept because I’m a philophobe…
I want to hang somewhere now 😕