“Nothing burns one up faster than the affects of ressentiment”

– Friedrich Nietzsche

My feelings crash in my mind,

just as the tide rolls in and out.

I’m calling for help,

yet nobody seems to hear.

I feel like an ocean,

searching for new places to spread.

Yet, I cannot spread until I am found.

Just like the ocean,

I’m lost & stranded.

I am a 58 yr old woman with chronic late stage lymes disease.  I am in pain, sick, hopeless, just can’t fight anymore.  I’ve had this disease for 40 yrs.  I want desperately to die. Can you still get nambutal in Mexico ?

To whom it may concern,

I wish i was a better story teller to describe why i am where i am today. But all i can really think of to share is the present moment. I am a 28 year old male with a fantastic dog great girlfriend low rent and seemily great life. The problem is no job… without a job means i will be forced to give away my dog lose my girlfriend home and great life style. Happiness has a price. I am finally realizing that it cost money to breathe and live in this world. Without a job to gain money i […]

so many people think it is funny to make someone kill theirselves but it aint

Having a new kid in the house has been hard. Already had a 2 year old and now a 16 month old…. Its enough to make you feel like you are losing it. Went from working 50+ hours a week to now a strict 36 hours. Working on interviews for a 2nd job. Have been off my medication for 2 weeks now, not because I was trying to quit them but because I’ve simply been too busy and lazy to deal with refilling them. Not sure it was a great idea to avoid getting them refilled but hopefully it doesn’t set me back too far. […]

I’m just curious why my comments are labeled “awaiting moderation”.

I don’t think I’ve been particularly hostile.

i put a lot of time and thought into some posts, and if they’re never going to be read (because they’re sidelined in the waiting queue), i won’t reply.

I cannot stand to be a part of this.
Funny how the idea of attaining a single, semi-lasting lover- of true feeling- would immediately curb the romantic fantasy that I’ve of death.
I plan to hang from a tree in late May.

Something like suicide.

So my issues with being suicidal are somewhat complicated. Well, everyone’s are. Does anyone else have a chronic illness? I was diagnosed with M.E at age 13. More commonly known as chronic fatigue syndrome, that is however a pathetic name for something as debilitating as I have. I cycle through extremely bad times and not so bad times. The extremely bad times, like now consist of not being able to stand up for more than a minute, feeling the most overwhelming exhaustion the human body is capable of, not being able to shower or feed myself and being very depressed. The not so bad times […]

Do other people feel the despair that I feel when they hear these words? I wish my eyes would stop leaking. I’ve just popped a lorazepam. I want to scream. I’ve got to slay this dragon and go work.

Physical pain, everyone understands. Correction: physical pain, everyone understands if they can see it. Everyone understands a broken limb, a gushing wound, a torn eyeball, but tell them your pancreas hurts or your ears are ringing, and you’ll probably get the condescending “aw poor thing” bullshit and then they’ll forget all about it.

Even worse is mental agony which not only can’t they see, but they can’t even conceive what it might be like. Tell them that your mind is coming apart at the seams and they’ll just give you a blank stare. You won’t even get the condescending sympathy bullshit. Instead they’re more likely to […]

I’m new on here, and I’ve been struggling since seventh grade really, but I’ve gotten much worse over the past few years. I’m currently a senior in high school. I’ve been to different psychologists, and none of them could help me and I just got really pissed off at them so I quit going. (Also financial reasons) But this year everyone has been just on my back every day about how I’m not trying hard enough and how I am just a failure. But I do try so hard to be the strong link. At school I get made fun of for who I […]

1. I cut, but I cut on my stomach so there is barely any chance anyone will find out. I was wondering why some people cut their arms/wrists?

2. I’ve read on here that many people have been going through depression for a long time, if not most of their lives. HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU TAKE IT?? I lost my faith in April of last year and became depressed in July, so it’s really only been about 9 months I think? And I severely want to die. I just want to know how you’ve managed to […]

Hello, I’m new here. I have stumbled upon this site before while doing research for my own sad suicidal thoughts.  I’m 24 years old and I am a wife, mother of two, and full time college student.  My life has been a constant uphill battle against depression, which started when my father took his life when I was 11 years old.  Sometimes I feel so alone in this world and I just want to disappear.  I wish there was a place where I could just be numb and have no feeling at all.  I started attempting suicide in my teenage years by cutting myself and […]

The Dweller Alone by Stella Benson
My Self has grown too mad for me to master.
Craven, beyond what comfort I can find,
It cries: “Oh, God, I am stricken with disaster.”
Cries in the night: “I am stricken, I am blind….”

I will divorce it. I will make my dwelling
Far from my Self.
Not through these hind’ring tears
Will I see men’s tears shed.

Not with these ears
Will I hear news that tortures in the telling.
I will go seeking for my soul’s remotest
And stillest place.

For oh, I starve and thirst
To hear in quietness man’s passionate protest,
Against the doom with which his world is cursed.

Not my own wand’rings—not my own abidings—
Shall give my search […]

Visions I’ve been dreaming are coming down, they’re changing my future. Visions I had buried underground returning to abuse me. I’m getting worse, I can’t sleep. I thought that the feeling was gone, but it’s getting stronger. And I miss him, I miss him so much. I’m missing him like never before. But still, can’t be with him, can’t tell him, can’t dream about it. It hurts, like hell. I just want to be okay. I just, want to.

Sometimes i go through my day wishing i hadnt woken that morning. Life is a constant struggle and always seems to find a new way to throw another unfortunate event at my face. Ive been through hell and back to the point where i dont feel physical pain. Its like tyson could beat my face in and i wouldnt shed a tear. Its not until you criticize me with your words that i break like a twig. The amount of physical torture ive endured because you are so careless about others emotions. It seems u take advantage of every possible chance you get put me […]

It’s too quiet in here.

I can hear myself cry, and hiss out words that usually come as mumbles.

It was once a place of serenity.

It was once the place of my joy,

but now I find it only to contain an inescapable hell.

It’s a place filled with shadows,

and a place filled with comfort.

My temple and my asylum,

my punishment and my reward.

This place smells of candles overcome with the misuse of lysol in a can.

I […]