I’m trying for her. I know I’ll slip every now and again, but I’ll try my hardest. For her.
I’ve just realized I have a pretty big spending problem. It’s like I’m living pay check to pay check. I’m not sure why I’m doing it though.
Probably just buying some comfort for an hour that ends up making me feel like shit after.
I’ve been doing it quite often it seems. What is happening to me? Some sort of impulse behaviour to calm me? Trying to hold onto hope? Something more primal?
I don’t know. But I gotta stop. Bills need to be paid. Though maybe it’s been a hindrance to getting better? Or preventative measures to avoid getting worse.
hello 🙂
Theres an asshole in my school that’s pushing buttons that he shouldn’t push. First, he jokes about Death, asking one of my closest friends if she wants to die and trying to convince her that she wants too. Then he starts insulting cutters, when one of his friends and many of my friends cut. None he says that the stage is where I dahlias be, not answering a call that informs me that my friend has gone back into a coma. The ONLY thing saving this ass kisser is that the show is next Friday and Saturday.
Then, we will fight. My background makes most boys […]
Lately i have been listening to some songs about suicide and i just cant help it anymore.They seem to call my name.I have been down lately and i honestly don’t know why.No-one is picking on me like usually.It was a everyday thing now its just a every other day thing.But i just feel like i don’t belong.I Fell such sadness.The song i listen to now makes me want to cry.But i love it.It talks about how a girl hangs herself.She pretended to be happy.Her mom and dad come home.Her mom finds her,screams,and faints.Then her little sister comes in.Crying she hugs her dad tight.No-one ever even […]
What’s the point of being kind to everybody when the only thing you get is being mistreated? i don’t know if i’m the only human who feels this way but i’m always trying to fit in and make everybody likes me, but everything i get is bullshit.
Today was one of those hard days when you feel alone, no matter how much people you have around you, it may sounds like a big cliche but it is how i feel.
I lost the significance of the word “friends” a couple of years ago, i don’t know what they’re anymore, perhaps they’re there asking you whats going wrong […]
For those females that are considered UNATTRACTIVE by males, they do NOT understand how lucky they really are!
Beauty is NOT a blessing. It is now just one BIG CURSE!!
If one is a beautiful female, one will REALIZE that finding a straight or bisexual male that genuinely likes you for your mind and soul and NOT your body is very hard!
As for gay males, they do NOT like beautiful females as they are JEALOUS of them, since straight males( whom they highly sexually desire), WANT attractive females and NOT them.Thus the jealousy they exhibit towards beautiful females is what makes it IMPOSSIBLE to have a nice […]
Starting to wonder if you keep living a life full of suffering and stress if your brain doesnt just shut down on its own because it cant take anymore.  Destroy itself.  Always had memory and concentration problems and sometimes a memory lapse  cuz of my depression problems now i am just really disabled cuz of them.  But i am also in the worse place of my life for the last  couple of years.  I have felt traumatizing pain over and over.  I cant remember one day from the next anymore.  I cant rem if things happened today or yesterday or the day before.  my brain […]
I have tried partial suspension. I passed out exactly once; and I would have actually died, I think, had my rope not loosened, somehow.
Since then, I’ve tried it several more times, but never again have I ever been able to pass out, let alone actually die. (Obviously…)
What the hell am I doing wrong?
#1 god : I became an atheist with 17, studying science and phylosophy a lot, if I could travel in time I’d like to have understood the universe before, but I was so stupid and busy.
#2 love : All I see is divorce, splits, and people betraying.It’s the real thing, true love is a fairy tale thing.
#3 happy endings : At least not for me.
Dreams can give you hope when you’re hopeless, they give you reasons to hold on, they can give you strengh and energy to move on and overcome the difficulties.However, dreams they can grow BIIIIIG, and if they grow really big and you realize that you can’t make them come true…well…THEY SIMPLY RUN WILD!.They will become a burden, a heavy burden and make your life unbearable, then smash you into pieces.
my ex is right back at it again. Yesterday I was working in the fuel station, and apparently he kept telling customers and co-workers alike how horrible of a person I am. It got so bad that someone from the service desk called me down at the kiosk to warn me of what Alex was doing. shitty thing is, I can’t really do anything about it
Hey fellas,
Iam a 15 year old dumb as a rock good for NOTHING fat ugly piece of shit.I decided to write my last note on a website and not on paper because my handwriting is very bad.Actually iam not flawed.Iam a flaw(if it means anything).My life is on rocks.The only option left for me is death.I know killing oneself requires a lot of courage.But i have to die whether i like it or not.I have no friends,people hate me for some reason.They even made fun of my cuts including my teacher!I decided to show all of them what iam capable of but you know […]
Nobody tells the future.  Futures don’t have infinite linearity to each distinctive, singular life.  I have more future then past in my life right now.  And they say . . . live for that.  Truth be told, no – we can not undergo a set-in-stone determination of what the future will be. But the implications of life now can decide what the future might be like.  Life is bad right now, driving me to the last of me, all done by my own hand.  What makes it worse, is I can’t pick out any possibility for a future with a good outcome.
Quiero morir
Déjame ir
She was ten when she noticed
When it crept into her veiw
Was it too late?
She was sitting in her desk trying to draw
When death and suicide were all that she saw
she saw the darkness for all that it was.
She learned to deal
It wasn’t severe.
Aside from the voices she’d started to hear.
She was ten when she noticed
When it crept into her veiw
Was it too late?
ive fucking had it. it’s 9 am. I’m tired as shit. i have more shit to do than i have time to do it. i don’t even fucking have time for a social life. I’m doing everything i possibly fucking can. all i want to do is graduate. at the top of my list. stop making my life so fucking hard and miserable. my skin is the worst it’s ever been and it won’t get better because I’m so fucking stressed. he keeps me talking till fucking late as shit then i have to get up early. i don’t have time for this. he doesn’t […]
I am most sure that today in the music scene talent and practice will get you nowhere, nor will it get you noticed by record labels or the fans the labels control.
Music has turned into a fashion show that has nothing to do with music.
I have come to the conclusion that my 16 years of classical training and practicing many different instruments has all been for nothing since I refuse to cover my body in tattoos, play hot topic dress up and crop my hair off at a weird angle. I am most sure if I did those three […]
I’m sorry, mom
I’m sorry, dad
I’m sorry, friends
I’m sorry, Family
I’m sorry, body
I’m sorry, mind
I’m sorry, teachers
I’m sorry, voice
I have failed all of you at one point… or every day.
Mom: I’m sorry I am not like my brother, I’m not made of gold and jewels. I am not skinny, smart, good looking, or good at anything. I am sorry I am failing school, I am sorry you are embarrassed to call me your daughter. I am sorry that you are ashamed to be in public with me because I am not thin like all the other girls. I am sorry I don’t do make-up and my hair, […]
I want to talk to someone. I want to understand them and for them to not judge me. I want to know someone’s story. I want someone to know my story as well. Send me a message. Send me something, anything. I’ll be watching this page this time.