As a child I started hating everyone. 2 years ago it got worse and i stopped going out, i didn’t go to School anymore, I stopped eating and never left my room. My mom started worrying but she didn’t know what to do so she just argued with me before she called a psychiatric and a lawyer which said that they will hospitalize me in some time. I had to wait about 3 Months before the could take me, they said. I was glad to be free so far although I was just sitting in my bed all day. Then I decided to end this pain. […]

I just have to sit and watch her from here.

Um, so… Hi?

Google suggested I come here and I really don’t know if that was such a good idea or not. I’m Pro Choice and this site doesn’t look like it gives you much of a choice. “SP” looks like a “No Kill Zone” and that’s fine, but I’m more a “Living Optional” kind of person. It kills me when people make choices for you, but don’t come up with a solution. “It’ll get better…” they croak, but the sad truth is, no it doesn’t get better; it gets worse.

If you’re young, wait a few years; If you’re old, […]

I hope this will bring comfort to someone the way it did for me

I’m tired, i’m killed
just bcz of wat u did
the moment i trusted u the most
u simply killed all my hopes
my love was always veryy true
n i was utmost loyal to u too
even then u had to go far
but baby, it just tore me apart
all this when u always knew
i cud never bear the distance between me and you
what we had was so beautiful and so strong
i just could never know when did i go wrong
ya, der was jsz 1 mistake dat i made
i do xcpt it,regret it n m ready to corrct […]

i’ve given up.

i just don’t try anymore in life.

don’t try in friendships.

don’t try in my relationship with my parents.

don’t try in school.

don’t try to succeed.

don’t try in life.

it just isn’t even worth it. can someone help me? i just don’t know what’s worth trying for anymore.

i need some encouragement to keep moving or i might just stop…

I wrote this a long time ago, in my teens when I was first coming to terms with my depression and feeling suicidal. This was one of the many many poems I wrote going through a really bad time. Thought some of you might relate or have at some point.

I can’t bare to go on much longer
These suicidal feelings continue to grow stronger
The only escape is in my sleep
I’ve dug this whole and now I’m in to deep
Don’t act like you know how I feel
For you see this life of mine is surreal
Still praying you hear my desolate […]

Are you there God? It’s me, Fox (Reality)

Please let my soul go free.

I am suffering very badly.

Please.

Yours Sincerely,

Fox

Since when did life become working 5 or 6 days a week. Sitting in traffic an hour each way mind you. Despite living less than 15 minutes away from work, it takes a miracle to get home in under an hour most days. All that just to barely make a descent income, to support myself, pay bills, and whatever is left that the government doesn’t take from me I save some and spend the rest on gas and groceries. It’s like an endless cycle. There’s no denying I’m depressed and in need of serious help. And I’m not talking about the help that comes in […]

I’m beginning to feel better, whether it be my drugs finally working the sudden nice weather we’re having.. i am feeling better. I’m not thinking about hurting myself as much.. but i do still have these thoughts.  I’m cutting a lot again and i keep thinking of wanting to take all my pills. I finally got my pills back from my aunt who was keeping them from me. Ughhh

But after everything.. i feel guilty or bad feeling good. Like i’m letting the depression down? If that makes sense!?

I start most weekends with drinking a bottle of wine, then I have another one and then another. I take a few Xanax and a Vicodin or two. Next thing I know its Monday morning and time to go to work again. When I don’t do that I do meth so I can forget about my life. Yet every Monday I get cleaned up and go back to my job that pays me 300k a year. Three of my friends have killed themselves. I have tried at least twice. Now days I rather dull things with liquor and Xanax or meth. So I can get up […]

 Beauty is not the goal of competitive sports, but high-level sports are a prime venue for the expression of human beauty. The relation is roughly that of courage to war.The human beauty we’re talking about here is beauty of a particular type; it might be called kinetic beauty. Its power and appeal are universal. It has nothing to do with sex or cultural norms. What it seems to have to do with, really, is human beings’ reconciliation with the fact of having a body

There’s a great deal that’s bad about having a body. If this is not so obviously true that no one needs examples, […]

But I don’t want to be like them

First of all I don’t want my mess to visible

I don’t want to be a visible mess,Yeah at the time it feels good but when your up there crying like that people think your really fucked up(unless you have something to show,and I don’t) and I party but not like that I party by myself,I love those girls there so pretty and there just like me