A new one came in today
Another drugged up junkie high on his last paycheck
Can’t remember his name, in a few days it won’t matter anyway
Bragging about his last score, his last binge, the best place to get more of the drug that leeches the life out my people
How can he talk like that? How can he boast about this destructive lifestyle of murder and morphine? Is he proud? Is he proud of where it’s gotten him? I look at him with disgust. That drug. That evil fucking drug that has destroyed thousands of lives, my friends lives, my life, and he’s […]

I fell apart today leaving work…
It was a bad day and it left me feeling hollow inside when I walked out the door and you weren’t there to hug me and tell me that everything would be okay. I’ve met some good people, and someone our story has saved some of them…but I still don’t understand why you have to be gone forever. It just isn’t fair. I know life isn’t usually fair…but this is just such a cruel fate that I don’t know if I’ll ever completely heal, especially not when every little thing rips the wounds right open again. Having all the […]

I fell apart today leaving work…
It was a bad day and it left me feeling hollow inside when I walked out the door and you weren’t there to hug me and tell me that everything would be okay. I’ve met some good people, and someone our story has saved some of them…but I still don’t understand why you have to be gone forever. It just isn’t fair. I know life isn’t usually fair…but this is just such a cruel fate that I don’t know if I’ll ever completely heal, especially not when every little thing rips the wounds right open again. Having all the […]

If anyone ever needs anyone to talk to or vent to I’m willing to listen and help you out as much as possible, I know what it’s like to feel like you have nobody and to feel hopeless and alone I feel that everyday so please email me if you ever need anyone my email is bnoel25@hotmail.ca

Crazy thing is I feel so alone yet I’m surrounded by people. I feel like noone understands me or what I’m going thru. I went thru a recent break up and she won’t move out. It kills me every time I see her and can’t hold her or do the things we once did. I did my best to push her away and now I want her. Crazy right?!

Do you remember when you were a child
And you thought
that when you become a teenager
when you become older
you would party every night
until 4am

It’s quiet ironic
because little did you know
that at 4am
you’d be hysterically crying
debating on weather to take your life
or not

Due to an odd glitch, I apparently posted that I had to put Violet down. No idea how my computer changed “Violet’s  ok” to “I put violet down today”. Technology doesn’t like me.

alright, I’m not ok, but what the hell is “ok”?

You won’t understand pain until you have the gun to your head crying so hard you can barley breath tears rolling down your face so fast you can’t even see a thing you won’t understand pain until you wrote down your last words your last wishes you’ve apologized for every single wrong thing that you’ve done no matter how big or how small you won’t understand pain until the only reason you’re alive today is because you passed out before you could even pull the trigger!

i thought. . .
i hoped. . .
i wished. . .
you broke. . .
you crushed. . .
you hurt. . .
i didn’t. . .
i wanted. . .
i really. . .
you didn’t. . .
you hated. . .
you thought. . .

my best friend is moving away…I don’t know what I’m going to do without her so close to me. It’s a scary thought not knowing what is going to happen 🙁

I wish. . .

i don’t think you understand
i don’t think you know
i know you don’t understand
i don’t know if you know
i think you don’t
hopefully not
even though i do want to tell you
but you can’t know
you just
you can’t
im sorry

It seems like I’ve posted something like this before. Hmm…

At first, I had this long disclaimer about how this post was one big pity party…but then I realized that many, many posts could be interpreted as such…So anyway…

I was reading some other thread, and came across this comment:
“I understand if you want something done you have to do it yourself.”
Which is true enough; at the very least, you could set the ball rolling, could you not? But then again, there’s this thing from greek mythology about a god, called Sisyphus, who is compelled to roll an enormous bolder […]

This is what I was told today:
Calculus isn’t even difficult, but fuck that. It’s gonna get harder, and…you should switch your major. There’s physics, (which requires Calculus II), and statistics, and linear algebra, and you suck at math. And algorithms and data structures are math classes; and so is foundations of computer science.

Yep, great way to live life. If it’s hard, fuck it. Every rational person does that.

People suck. Way to be supportive.

i just made the previous post i apologise for my behaviour yeh i was in a deep coma for over a week and near death i came out of it i went into it with such megolomania and expierences i cant explain but i still want to say i feel and know in my heart nothing is to fear and love is forever no point going into it looll

Hey guys! So for a YouTube on my channel, I thought I’d answer some questions. So comment some, please!
A daily reminder:

I love you. You are a strong person and remember that sometimes being strong isn’t always good, because if your constantly strong you’ll eventually feel weak.

I promise you it’ll all be okay.

Maybe not today. Or tomorrow. Or next month. You just gotta be patient, okay?

Just do what you like! Go on an adventure. Climb a tree. Make a new friend. Go to the park and be a little kid again. Make something. Call a random number and ask how they’re doing today. Write a […]

Maybe it doesn’t…
Maybe I don’t…
I wish though…
I hoped…
I thought…

even without saying anything people can find out the truth. we all have that one secret that will break someone’s heart. I had many secrets but didn’t want people to find out. there was only one way out of all this. suicide. but I didn’t have the courage to kill myself. so I found another way out. self harm. I never knew that one cut would lead to so many. I had problems at home the only way out was self harm. people hated me at school they would call me all sorts of names and all their words got to my head and would […]