I want to find suicidal people in real life that I could have contact with. I just don’t know how!! It would be so great to have suicide societies where people who want to end their lives could get together, have open discussions, gather supplies, share advice, meet partners, and support each other. People this should be a basic right but its all criminalized. It’s all criminalized because of goddamned godless moral busybodies in the society that think it is their right to force everybody else to live. So what is this- a hollow dream? Just shows how unevolved the human race really is, that […]
Old man walks through a cemetery
We see the stone, he falls to his knees
Fingers claw the grass as tears fall
The picture of despair, he holds his head
I look at him
The dead man would always hurt him
Why then, so much grief?
I would not respect a monster so much
I always think of the two men, living and dead
The living man would always hurt me
He took my childhood, my desire for life
But I think of what he did for his tormentor
And I wonder,
When he’s dead
Will I do the same?
I found that people especially in the work place will judge me because of my depression.
I want to say to those who judge others because of their depression – “Do not Judge someone before you have walked several miles in their shoes!!!!!”
If I had a choice I would not have chosen depression as an illness. I do not want to feel like this. I don’t want to have an emotional roller coaster ride every day of my life.
I’ve been feeling depressed since high school. Seen therapists, seen psychiatrists, the one after another. I’m really just done with this. I started feeling extremely anxious and depressed at the start of December and longed to end this suffering for good. But I thought to myself: “Just give your family a nice x mas, then you can do what you need to do”. Did I do it? Well I’m sitting here right now. I have a bipolar friend and I’m the only one that he really has. The only one who understands his feelings and will stay and listen or just stay with him when […]
“Success Is failure turn upside down
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when It seems afar
So stick to the fight with you’re hardest hit
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit”
I tried. I really, really did. But it’s never good enough, is it?
I didn’t go to prom because of you. I didn’t get my scholarships because of you. I was suicidal because of you. That fake pregnancy scare we had? Your fault. I spent every penny I had because of you. I ruined my relationship with my grandmother because of you. I stole because of you. I thought of being unfaithful because of you. I turned against God because of you. I cried over my online relationship because you couldn’t be good enough for me for me to forget. I graduated with the lowest plan possible because of you, when I was on track to be the […]
Hello.
Nobody really needs to see this, just read my username.
————
Why keep on going?
It’s just…… Everything is made out to mean the world to people when there are stars out there that are trillions of times larger than our planet. If anything, we’re just science’s little exception. People say that if we moved just a little closer to the sun, our planet could burst into flames. So why try anything?
this all started from reading some story, by the way.
I just don’t understand why we keep on working if everything is going to waste anyways. Maybe I’m just being a big ol’ douche, i dunno.
If we want […]
I just got told that im not trying hard enough.
Which kinda makes me want to you know, not try at all.
Give up completely.
im so lost.
Dear ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’,
I’ve always hated you.  I’ve never trusted you with anything.  All you’ve ever done is beat and criticize me.  Hey mom, remember that time you accidentally threw me down the stairs when I was four?  Hey dad, do you remember that time I came back home from first grade one day and you started yelling and hitting me?  What about that time when I couldn’t go to school for a week in third grade because you burned my fucking arm?  You remember how making me scream in pain became a routine for you?  Do you both remember all those times you called me whore, […]
Hi Guys,
Impeccably tired and I do not feel like writing at all what so ever so..
How are you?
Au Demain
PS: I am doing… *shrugs*
your thoughts?
I met God On the edge of town
Where the wind meets the stillness
Where the darkness meets the light
Where the ocean meets the sky
Where the desert meets the rain
Where the earth meets the heavens
On the edge of town I met God
I asked God
Do one thing for me
Send me back in time
Send me to Seattle
Let me go
Find Kurt Cobain
Take away his gun
Take away his bullets
Talk to him
Make him wanna live
Tell him how we love him
Help him see his glory
God Said No
If I sent you back
If you […]
Tomorrow is another squadron meeting. I don’t think the chaplain would be a safe bet. my only friend suggested, if i treat the squadron like family, then I should tell at least someone, someone I could trust there. although I know and trust lots of them, there are a few I would never tell. example? My DCC. I’m really nervous, and if I even get the nerve to say anything, then I imagine they’d help me. Please, pray for me.
on dec 3rd of 2004 2 years after my grandmother past away and i was dealing with bullies, school, and family problems.My brother just told our parents that he was gay, now you can imagine what mom and dad were going through, well that night they had went out and i was home alone i found a box cutter and hid it in my room. well after mom and dad left i wrote the note made sure i told them i loved them, and i filled the sink with hot water and put both wrist in the water after grabbing the box cutter and placing […]
There are so many reasons to die, there are so many ways to die, there are so many ways to kill yourself. There isn’t a lot of reasons to live. There isn’t a lot of ways to live. There isn’t a lot of ways to just make your self live…
Adjusting to the lights dimming
Adjusting to the hurt
Adjusting to the hopelessness
Adjusting to the lies
Adjusting to the late night cries
Adjusting to the mental pain
Adjusting to the terrible images
Adjusting to the temptation
Adjusting to the suicidal feelings
Adjusting to the suicidal thoughts
Adjusting to being alone again
Adjusting to being hurt again
Adjusting to being lied to again
Adjusting to being left again
Adjusting to being ignored again
Adjusting to being not cared for again
Adjusting to being something that doesn’t matter again
Adjusting to being a nobody
Adjusting to being just a fake
Adjusting to being nothing but a lie
Adjusting […]
Its funny how all the planning and commitment can go out of the window once faced with the prospect of jumping. Originally i was going for a shotgun but i cant afford the gun, ammo, travel and bullets. This time of year a bridge would be perfect because of the freezing water coupled with the long drop. Its weird though… i wrote the note, really believed i was going to do it (this is my first time ever) and i just couldn’t bring myself to go over. I must have paced back and forth at least 10 times, and every time i went to go […]
Hey there. She has a boyfriend, which initially really hurt. I freaked out in class. But now that I think of it, that’s great. I want her to be happy. It’s a good thing that she has a boyfriend, so she can enjoy her life. I want that. And at the same time, that’s my signal that I don’t matter all that much to her. I don’t have a place in anyone’s heart, and that’s okay. I’m going to wait until this weekend, when my family is out shopping or something, and then I’ll grab a few dozen metres of extension cord, run to a […]
“Stop setting yourself on fire for someone who stays to watch you burn.”
This quote really made me think today. I have realised that I need to set myself free, I need to learn to leave people that hurt me in the past and move on. And that’s exactly what I’m doing and it feels great. I just wanted to say, if someone is setting you on fire don’t just sit there whilst they watch you burn, don’t give them that pleasure. Stand up, keep walking and fight for what you believe in. Leave that person in the past, they’re not worth it. I really believe […]
No one knows and no one can see. I cant cry anymore only gag and rock myself until I stop moaning the pain away. Its silly how we can fall so rapidly and just realize this once we have the pills and alcohol at the ready. How did it come to this? “I just want you to get better so you can stop hurting everyone else.” he said. Why did he say it? They sent me somewhere where I was supposed to get better. I said it made me better. In reality they blew my head off. Its terrible thing, lying. What can I do […]