What do you when your life sucks and you’re too poor and  physically sick and weak to do anything about it?

I feel so stuck.  And I feel like what the hell is the point in my living?  I wish I was suicidal so I could actually do the damn deed, but I’m not suicidal as much as I’m sick, tired, hate my life, and don’t forsee it changing for the better.  I have health issues so it’s not like my life can easily get better like other people can, so please no “everything will get better” schpeel.

Sigh.

Just imagine. One day you come home from school. Where you were already having a horrible day. All your teachers were extra hard on you today. . You and your boyfriend got into an argument again. This time it’s over. He already has a new girl friend. You go to your bestfriend for help. She’s always with her boyfriend. So, she never has time for you. You send her multiple text messages telling her that it’s over tonight. You’ll finally be happy. You wait six hours; no reply. She’s to busy with her boyfriend to reply. You grab that blade for the last time […]

I´m 16,diagnosed with major depression,been depressed and suicidal for over a year now,I recently got out of a mental hospital,I was put there for suicide risk,it was one hell for me,I hated every single second I spent there,I were there for a little over 3 months,every second of it I spent faking my smile and telling lies about my mood and suicide thoughts, just to get out of there,it was really hard for me,I never want to go there anymore. So now that i´m finally out of the mental hospital,I have to keep this fake smile on my face constantly and act like everything is […]

Nothing is forbidden anymore.

Nothing is worth doing anymore.

I am haunted by ghosts of my past
past failures and mistakes
Failures and mistakes that makes my future dark
I am scared to live
I am scared to enjoy what is good
I am scared that it will end like my past
how do I brake these chains that’s holding me back
how do I brake free from these ghosts that’s haunting me
how do I live again???????

It’s funny how one can want to die so badly, but want to live at the same time. I’ve been having a really hard time keeping my head out of the water. More so in the past few days than I have in the last month and a half. Usually, I manage to keep myself safe and not commit any rash decisions. I know my desire to die is impulsive. I know there’s no going back.  I know it’s just an invasive thought that I’ll somehow manage to relegate to the back of my head eventually.

When it gets too intense I know what I need […]

I’ve read all the posts here and i can’t help but feel horrible. I feel stupid that i’m feeling this way when my life is actually okay.

i want the feeling to go away so bad because i’m not worthy of feeling depressed

I really don’t understand myself. One moment I’m full of joy, the next I feel like I want to die. I am so tired of feeling this way and I can’t tell anyone about this because they will always say I’m being overly dramatic. I wish there was a way to fix myself. Why am I even posting here? Why do I always have to feel sad?

I really wish that I didn’t have mental health it trulry sucks! You don’t know how ur going to feel from one day to the next especially with bpd. Why can’t I just be free from all this pain.

its not about waiting for ðthe sorm to pass its about learning  tood dance in the rain 🙂

All I know is that this pain is too much.

I look into my own eyes and see nothing,

I know this will hurt many people..but it’s never gotten any better.

I’m tired of waiting and hoping.

I don’t want to hurt those I leave behind, but should I allow myself to keep suffering?

All men are mortal
Some men die old from age
Some men die of their own choosing to escape the hardship of life
Some men are murdered
and some men die courageously for their own principles
I hope to be one of these to die as I live; courageously

I’ve been here before and here I am again. It’s been 3 years I’ve started voicing my desire to die. Three years of pure hell. Everyone says it’s going to get better and I so wish it would. But it’s not. It just gets worse and worse and I’m more alone than ever.

I can’t even kill myself properly. I’ve overdosed on pills about 15 times. I can’t go through with cutting my carotid or partial suspension. I’m a fucking failure even in my desire to die. I’ve been kept as an in patient in a psychiatric institution twice. I’ve seen countless psychologists, psychiatrists and doctors.

They […]

Some don’t notice, some will ask, so I tell them its my past.
I cut I lie, at night I cry, sometimes I just want to die.
You say I’m suicidal, emo, a “freak” but society has just made me weak.
they don’t understand why we cut and cry they think we attention seek
but its really there fault they just don’t know that we’re hanging off a peak.
a cut a lie a cry at night, sometimes we just want to die, we try we try
oh yes we try to hide whats under our sleeves..
none will notice none will care they have […]