I’ve been lying to my family and my girlfriend for the past two years. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t find a way to go on with these lies. They love me so much. I’m so ashamed…
Now what i need is some charcoal and a locked room…
I’ve been lying to my family and my girlfriend for the past two years. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t find a way to go on with these lies. They love me so much. I’m so ashamed…
Now what i need is some charcoal and a locked room…
These past 16 months of cutting, restricting, suicidal thoughts and general self hatred have come to an end. Those months feel like a movie, the days flowing into one another, a black on black photograph finally developing into a dreamy abstract picture. Its over. Its done. I think I’m okay now.
No. I know I’m fucking okay.
I made it out alive.
I made it with countless faded scars and healing but aged deep red ones.
I made it out with a tally of 10 suicide attempts.
I finally got the guts to ask my 10-month-secret-crush to be my girlfriend.
I’m still going to be […]
There’s an italian film whose name is The sweet life, directed by Fellini, that describes what a couple of freaks like me feel.
There’s a famous scene in which an american actress takes a bath in the night into a fountain, and Marcello, the protagonist, just stand there, looking at her, as he always does: looking at people roaringly living, without knowing wheter he should get into, or stay out.
He has a job he doesn’t like, a woman he doesn’t love, an expensive car he uses to hang around in Rome with his lover, whom he doesn’t care about: he isn’t presumptuous, at all. He doesn’t know, he […]
Don’t you guys just hate those days your almost paralysed by depression and nothing seems to be able to get you up. Not even a little bit. Always worrying about something.
I hate those days.. I really do hate them..
I’ve been feeling suicidal for the past 2 years I mean school just stresses me out a lot especially since finals are this week and I just feel stupid then there’s my self esteem I just don’t even feel decent no more I feel like monster apart from that family problems especially my sister she always talks shit to me and makes me feel bad and fat she acts like I’m her maid she yells at me hits me and she also tells me how she wants to just hit me so hard and punch my head against a wall and etc she also talks […]
today i spent whole day sleeping,after taking my ketotifen drink i woke up 12 o clock my head spining and so drowsy i didnt do anything ,just hearing mom s nagging ,they kept asking me whats wrong ,thought that if i drink it i ll sleep more but it was just half cup ,im feeling even bad .
Ok so idk if any of you get this but I have really bad memory about things that I’ve said or happened in the past. I’m not saying that my memory in General is bad bc it’s not I remember a lot of things from the past it’s just I remember the “wrong ” stuff I guess you could say I don’t remember the things I should and it’s bc I remember little dumb stuff like how ppl treated me in the past little arguments just the negative stuff from my past and it’s so upsetting when im having a conversation and I don’t remember […]
What’s wrong with me? I just don’t understand. Life is confusing. What the hell should I do? Dx
I just wanna die. I dunno what else I should do… If you would understand what it’sike to be me….
My only friend is a pokemon stuffed-animal… (Froakie X/Y) Would should I do….
Okay so I’ve came to conclusion, the best way and method that is gonna make 100 percent sure I die, is to jump ifront of a train. I know a railway station. I’ve done my research etc. It’s a railway and this trains passthrough that do not stop at the station, they go about 90 something mph and I know for sure I’ll die. I just know. I’ve stared too long. It’s the quickest way and I want to do it however when I try I realised I CAN’T as my survival instinct is in the way. How the fuck do people manage to jump? […]
CS Lewis is best known for writing the lion, the witch and the wardrobe, were Aslan is used to portray the Lion Of Judah… Â He was quite a wise man.
Okay so it seems like everyone who is suicidal seems to be only because they don’t really want to die but just to escape from their problems, they see no other way out. But me, I WANT to die. I know my problems will get better , but it’s just life. I don’t like the idea of life in general. I could be happy and have been in the past but still I know if I had the choice, I’d rather be dead. Why? because it’s nothingness. What could be better than that? Maybe I’m just lazy but whatever. I just want out. I’ve seen […]
Words are more powerful than we think. Â Just as we were created with a word, we live by them too. Â We have power to speak life… Â The other side of the coin is that we have the power to speak evil into our lives as well.
you can talk to me on my fake Facebook page if you want : https://www.facebook.com/missholly.grey
Might seem like a silly question, but whilst considering suicide, did any of you consider what you would wear? People always talk about the right method but did any of you think of how you would want others to see you ‘afterwards’? Or do you not care?
I personally care, I want to be remembered in a good way, I wouldn’t want to die in my pyjamas..
It’s almost as if it’s preaching directly to me, telling me indeed, you can’t escape your destiny. Gives me a little hope.
I just feel so unhappy. I cannot help how IÂ feel and I believe that there’s no way I can get better. I feel I’ll always be messed up and I’m never ever going to get better. I do know a few people care about me, even if it’s a tiny amount but I feel if I leave where ever I go when I die I will be free and happy. I’ve got 3 and a half years and then I can start a new life but even if I make it I feel like I will be more messed up than I am now.
I […]
I met the love of my life in a bdsm club on May 26, 2007. He taught me about rope bondage we were engaged and now after I was careless he broke up with me after 6 and a half years.I can’t stop crying I figure the most poetic beautiful thing to do is hang myself with the rope he used tobise on me. I fell in love with him through rope and nowI will leave this wotld the same way through rope. He was my whole world and I was careless. I’m forever sorry Rob. You will always have my heart forever.
I know I haven’t posted anything recently. It’s cause I’ve been having exams and I’m so very stressed about them… If only I could go outside and play like I did when I was younger, now I just sit inside looking at walls… It’s a depressing thing for sure. And worst of all is that if I go outside… I might be beaten up by the kids on my street… And I don’t really have any friends to play with here, I long for the days that I was younger and could run, spring, jump, climb, play as long as the sun was out! From […]
I really don’t ask for a lot out of life. I mean I’ve wished for a lot of things, sure, and who hasn’t? I know that I don’t need a lot of luxuries in life.  But is it really too much to ask for a little stability in my life? All I want to be able to do is go to sleep at night without being anxious about where I’ll end up sleeping and if I’ll eat tomorrow. It’s the reason I ended up suicidal in the first place. Not the self-esteem issues, not the loneliness, not any failed relationship, not school, not work. Hell, […]
the day i loved him i guess was the day he became my world… i loved him to the core. .. i sacrificed my family first… then my kid whom i loved the most…. and then i get to know he was a fake… now i am alone… no family… no kid… no love… no money.. cut my wrist.. drank phenyl.. prayed to god let me die… but again dat guy would come back telling its all lies.. again he ll say he loves only me… i dont wana forgive him… i just wana ask him wat bad did i do to him.. just loved […]
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