everyone sucks, fuck you

I was thinking today of a conversation i had with a teacher of mine a long time ago now. it was a biology class and she was going on about the whole nature versus nurture, i told her at the time that either one on its own is not important, i went on to talk about serial killers, how a partially damaged frontal lobe is an indicator to seriall killers, but i then went on to say that not all people with that type of damage turn out to be serial killers so logically speaking there has to be another facter, how they were nurtured […]

Do you get that?

Because you think everything is “boring and a waste of time.”  You can’t actually believe it… it must be an excuse to justify you doing nothing to change your life and start living on your own terms.

They know nothing of how hard exactly you’ve worked to change it and they assume that it is indeed possible to change.  Knowing nothing about you, this is the pure assumption they cling to to discredit how you really feel.  That it must be impossible for someone to take no pleasure in doing anything and find that the mere act of existing is the waste of […]

I just want someone to relate to with this. I can’t tell anyone because nobody understands. I don’t know why I do the things I do, ehy I push away the ppl who try to help me. I have such a title to live up to. I’m getting the help I’ve needed for six months, and maybe these pills can repair my brain and help me be who I used to be. I miss me.

it’s happening again. I thought I could move and everything would be better. I’ve tried. I’m exercising, I’m in a new location, I have new friends, I’m pretty, smart, talented, etc. what the fuck is wrong with me
I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t do anything. except sit here and feel sorry as fuck for myself. because that’s all I am is sorry. I don’t know how I’m gonna get better. nothing is working. I can’t do it alone. I need some sort of medical help because this shit isn’t working. I wish I could leave myself. like it’s so easy for […]

The deep and uncontrollable need for that pure dark silence…  The blissfull absence of all senses…  I want it, but I know I am not allowed…

On a good day, the suicidal thoughts used to roam my mind on and off through out the day.  At night, while in bed, no matter what I did, my mind would wander to the topic.  The medication has helped…a lot, but now, with the weather being so unpredictable with rain coming and going and the humidity, my body is contributing to the reasons “why not” and is pushing past the barrier so carefully constructed by the various pills I […]

I post on this website to vent to let my thoughts and feelings flow out through these words. I don’t post on here to openly invite people to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do or how I should feel or to add to the distress in my life with their negativity. I am grateful to the people who have been positive and encouraging. At the end of the day I am me and I will make the right decision for me based on what I know and feel. I always find myself holding on I guess I can’t accept that life is truly […]

first sorry for bad english
This is the last year of my life if i dont change my life in the next 11 months i gonna kill myself so this is my story i am 25 year old and weight 45 kg(i am male) i eat 4-5 meals a day but i dont get weight, most of the time i am mistaken for a 15 year boy and its driving me nuts nobody takes me serios or always makes fun of me i dont mind about when somebody make fun of me because living in this skinny weakling body made me funny(o i just tink […]

sister became rebellious. i got punished for her actions. moved away to another counrty. dad didnt come with. got bullied at school. girls acted like friends but stole from mw.  i switch schools the nwxt year. sister rebells smokes weed and does stuff with a boy. mom hates me . she hits us , and makes us do everything by ourselves. its like we have no mom. at school no one stalks to me for months they think im emo.  everything okay for awhile. dad comes home. spends 20000 dolars all of our savingz. on a lady he cheatdd on my mom multiple times including […]

sister became rebellious. i got punished for her actions. moved away to another counrty. dad didnt come with. got bullied at school. girls acted like friends but stole from mw.  i switch schools the nwxt year. sister rebells smokes weed and does stuff with a boy. mom hates me . she hits us , and makes us do everything by ourselves. its like we have no mom. at school no one stalks to me for months they think im emo.  everything okay for awhile. dad comes home. spends 20000 dolars all of our savingz. on a lady he cheatdd on my mom multiple times including […]

Hello Everyone , I would like to know if anyone has any ideas on where i may obtain barbiturates.? tuinal, ******** etc

                   Thankyou,    Ian

Hey all,

It’s 10 days since I decided to follow a plan in order to give myself a last chance to become a better man and find meaning in life (http://suicideproject.org/2014/01/ive-got-my-plan/). Unfortunately each day is just more difficult.

I’m on the right path with most of my goals, I’m seeing friends (even those I hadn’t seen for years), I’m visiting my family and spending time with them, I’m preparing a trip to a place I wanted to visit, I keep visiting my therapist (didn’t find the guts to tell him about my thoughts). I go out and I wear my mask, people think that I’m ok while […]

I wish I knew what’s wrong with me – I think I may have started a few posts with that line before! I need a rant, and a good long cry, and some sort of an answer from whichever celestial being might be listening. I have been single for a long time, now I have a fantastic boyfriend. He tells me everyday that I’m beautiful, yet I can’t allow myself to believe him. I’m convinced that he’s too good for me. He loves me, and he wants to marry me – yet I find myself fighting the urge to cut, and I have so many […]

i need you
but i can’t tell you that
i need you to be here
but you’re busy
but i need you to comfort me
but you’re busy with important things in your life
i need you to be here
like you promised
you promised that you would be there
but you’re not
and now i feel broken
i don’t know
maybe i deserve it
maybe im not that important
i guess im not
i don’t know your side of the story
but i need you
but you aren’t here
you broke your promise
that you’ll be there for me
where are you now?

I’ve never had a true friendship until I met my best friend/sisster/coach. I mean I’ve had friends but never one I could go to about anything. I’ve had fake friends, friends that used me, friends that left me, friends I’ve pushed away. It feels so good to have a true friend that knows everything and you can always go to. A friend that brings the best out in you. A friend that loves you for you and not the person you make everyone else fall for. A friend you trust with your life. One that will do anything for you. One that you will do […]

i need to post things
but i cant
one of my friends
they check on me
i don’t know how regularly
i don’t know when
but because of that
i can’t post certain things
and its killing me
because im bottling my feelings
maybe its good
to do this
to bottle them up
how should i know
but i need to post things
but i cant
and now what
should i do?

I didn’t eat yesterday but a small bowl of chicken pasta from panera bread. I haven’t eaten anything today yet. But I know my best friend/sisster is going to make me eat lunch. I just don’t like eating, I think eating is gross. On top of that I don’t have an appetite for anything. Plus I am a very picky eater.

I don’t want to see you. But I want to see you. I don’t know what to do.

Today was the first time I’ve been home alone with you sense January 4. I can’t believe what happened that day… It’s hard for me to forget.

I think we all know the feeling of sitting in the corner of your dark, lonely room. Trying not to wake your parents as tears slowly drown you. As you start to see the sun rise you get up off the floor. You wipe your tears and start with your day. You fake getting up and getting ready to look pretty. You head off to school and act like everything is fine and you laugh and smile. But on the inside you know it’s not okay. No one knows you cried all last night. No one would even guess that. You head home. You lock […]