I wish my parents still cared… I feel alone but I also know that I’ve been pushing everyone away. I don’t know what to do anymore.

So alone…..  it never ends.  I’ve tried so hard for so long.  It just doesn’t seem worth it.  Not even close.   As I get older, the “good” times are fewer and further between.   It’s like big headache that never goes away.  I’ve tried to overdose several times.   My friend died that way.  All I could think about was how lucky he was to finally go….  I hope it ends soon.

I overcame the fear…the idea of dying. I gained acceptance. I’m content with the idea of death. It will be much easier than life. Life is not becoming. Life is pity and filled with doubts. My dreams are so far off now. Thinking of the master plan…it would be ironic if it came naturally. Again, I’ll be in content. What’s the fastest way of killing yourself? To EXIST and not Live. I’m ready to die. My soul is dead. I have already died.

I found this site and I guess the idea of  it is pretty cool. I guess I want to share my story here. Some things that I never told anyone before

I just wanna say that this website has helped me stay around this long and was a great place to let myself out. That being said, it seemed fitting that my last post be my suicide note. So here it is. Goodbye.

To Whom It May Concern…
If you are reading this than I am dead. This may come as a shock to most who know me. If you want to know why, it’s basically because I hate myself. I’ve actually vomited because I hate myself so much. I loathe myself. I’m tired of being mediocore. I’m tired of being a failure to everyone around me. […]

Here I am lying in bed, the worst thing to do when your depressed. I’m 13… I cry inside everyday. two weeks ago we had our winter/Christmas break. Over the holidays I was planning on relaxing and enjoying my break without any homework. It’s really hard for me to continue this blog but I feel like if just one person might be able to relate to my crazy messed up situation at least i can help someone in my last 24 hours of life. Anyways back to point, a few weeks ago during break my parents got in the car to go to work and […]

I guess not. I know it sounds negative. But I am 95% sure that no one will love me. I guess I have to accept that fact… It’s hard though. Thinking/Knowing no one will love you…

I feel the angst and the stress, but I do not want it to go. I want it to fester, I want it to grow. I want you to see the blackness’ magnitude, I want you to create a fued. Hit me in my face, uncover my disgrace. Slash my back, peel my flesh. See my pain fresh? I want you to hate me, I want you to confront my differences. Numb my senses, forget the expenses. I have, long ago. I forgot what it feels like to glow. What it feels like to grow, but I do know what it feels like to blow. […]

I am one of those people who feel good when I cut and injure myself. I have done this for many years and have Gotten so good at hiding it. I can’t stop doing it. It’s
Like I need it to feel. I just don’t cut anymore, I now slice my flesh off. I know I’m not alone doing this type of thing to my self but I bet I have been doing it longer than most on here. Lol

I’m going to get help Friday. I’ll tell my manager that I’m not ok. That’s the only thing I can think of, since I can’t drive.

Hi Guys,

I don’t think I’ll be able to do this anymore… Even if it is good to get my feelings out… I have been bottling up most of them for all of my life… *shrugs* I just feel these things are useless… And stupid. I mean are you even listening??? Are you even reading? Reading this… I guess some of you are… But I think most of you just ignore these things… It’s okay. I’m used to being ignored… Most of my friends have such busy lives I can’t get help from them… Well only I think 3 out of the 20 some “friends” I […]

I have cut myself many times. I have tried to stop cuz my friends told me to, but i cant cuz i love to see the blood come out. I want to stop but i feel like i am addicted…. Plz tell me what to do.

Since the turn of the new year ive become so so depressed. A feeling that the world is no good and will never get better like I’ve posted before. Today I got to such a low point, I got all the pills in the flat together and put them in a bag ready for when I’m ready. But somehow later I’ve come out of such a low episode. I still don’t see any point in our existence and have no patience for talking about meaningless crap but not gonna go end it tomorrow. I think it’s because I’ve seen how much all this is affecting […]

I’m just so afraid of everything in this world: of driving, of relationships, of college, of getting a job, of not being able to support myself, just of everything. And it gets worse and worse as I go, because I don’t trust that I can do it. You’ll find me ridiculous, but I have to drive for an hour and a half tomorrow, and I’m absolutely terrified. I could care less if I ended up killing myself, but what about the other person in the car or the other cars on the road? I’m so scared. I’m 21 freaking years old, and I am still […]

I have so much hate in my heart. I hate life I hate the world. I hate my friends. I hate my dad. I hate everything. Like I know its bad and your not suppose to say you hate because its a strong word or whatever but i cant deal with this my mom is being selfish she sees that my life is horrible living here with my step family and my dreadful father. my life is literally hell. i lie im worthless conniving i wouldn’t want to be around me either so i dont know why im alive. i feel that my life is […]

Like the title said, I almost done it.

It’s very, very frustrating after 3/4 of the year I didn’t need any help, and now I’m here again.

It’s like over and over again.

So here’s my story!

One day I went home and saw that nobody is home. I thought nobody would be home for another 2 to 3 hours, so like always depression hit me on the right time. All I know I went to my room took my blade and just cut 1 long line from my upper part of my arm, so from my wrist to the middle. First it was painful just a sting, but […]

I’ve been told I am a failure for a good portion of my life. I feel that it is true as I hit rock bottom.

Yes, my problems don’t come close to those who live on the streets or can’t eat on a daily basis yet does that compromise the fact that I am living in a hell of an environment.

I don’t deserve to live.

Every attempt I have made towards bettering myself and those around me have been pointless.

I am met with constant setbacks and hurdles, yet I know that life is not easy.

Well if life is that difficult why continue living it? Why continue living […]

So last week, I’ve been cutting free, didn’t cut for a week (meanwhile I did relapsed several times since tuesday). It wasn’t my intention to stop cutting or so, but it just happened. I just didn’t cut for a week, because I didn’t had the energy for it. I was so depressed, I ate almost nothing, slept a lot, but I was really tired, and I felt so miserable, that I was too depressed to pick up that blade and go cut myself. So I didn’t for a week. Although I didn’t cut, I did scrathed myself (which looks horrible now) and I starved myself. […]

It is depraved and full of degenerate acts, but this movie rocks.  I had a big, stupid grin on my face for the whole 3 hours.  Its impossible to be depressed while watching this.

There is already good copies on the torrents.