New years eve. I am here alone and invisible. Not for long
Just … bla
I can fit my entire life into this tune. No reason at all the new year will be any different.
I’ve been crying for the past two hours. Why can’t I stop crying? 🙁 I want to just stop it all. I feel so depressed over drug abuse from my dad. Earlier my dad was high on drugs and he threatened to throw my eleven year old brother out on the streets. Later, I shouted at my dad because he said he was going to throw me out too. I shouted at him, telling him he was nuts. Dad said he’d rather be homeless than live with me and my brother. Now I’m scared. I’m seriously thinking about telling the fucking police because I can’t deal […]
I personally am not Religious & I am currently writing a piece on my beliefs of the Religious system… which I will be posting in the following week or so. Curious to see the views of others, please share. 🙂
A cool song I love by the Buffalo Springfield :
Broken Arrow
Enjoy fellows! 🙂
I am writing to seek help committing suicide.
I have a very black-and-white personality. Either all or nothing.
Either good or bad. Either something is or it is not. There is no
middle ground. By itself this is not such a bad thing, but I also have
had on-off depression since 2nd grade (I’m now in 9th) which has been
constant in the past few weeks. I see everything as pathetic and
everyone as awful. If it is fair to say that for most, good and bad is
like a scale, hoping the good outweighs the bad, for me it is like a
drop of […]
I told you what was happening you shamed me.
How could i tell you it still happens?
I saw you give up on other when they couldn’t just stop.
I can’t stand the idea of you giving up on me because i can’t.
Everytime i tell you i can hear the letdown in your voice.
It makes me want to do it again.
How can you be so blind the proof is there, i need your help!
But i am scared to ask, to scared to ask.
The cutting. It all started when I was 13. My adopted dad had just got divorced with his 3rd wife..he always blamed me for his mistakes..for all his divorces..I couldn’t take the stress anymore. I decided that I had to much stress on my shoulders already, I had to do something about it..anything for me to not feel like crap. I had a guy ‘friend’ that kept asking for sex..we started texting..and one thing led to another..we decided to go to a party. I told him to pick me up at 12 at the end of our road.-long story made short- we went to the […]
Alone I sit. I watch my family eat and laugh. I listen and partake as best I can. Alcohol is starting not to balance me anymore. I want to scream out and flip things over. I want to use my rage and sadness to express my anguish. Yet, I sit here with a stupid smirk on my face. I only get joy from watching my nieces open their presents. I could care less about any of this bullshit. My birthday was the 19th and, God willing, will be my last. I can’t even drink enough to even muster the strength to put the gun to my head […]
so I started cutting about.. maybe six months ago. I have only managed to go so deep because if my parent find out then off goes my head.. I actually started when my parents divorced about a year and a half ago but it really wasn’t that bad because all they did was split up and didn’t talk. but now dealing with school and which parent gets to keep who, they have put me and my little brother in the middle of it. mostly me though because I am the older one. so that’s how I started cutting, by all the stress and anger they […]
I’ve gone over this in my head every day. Every minute. Every second. he finally told me to leave him alone. He was so serious. I asked him ill leave forever. I didn’t blink. I didn’t do anything. I waited for him to say something . He told me things that hurt me so much I can’t breathe. i wanna give him what he wants. I wanna leave everyone. I want to be free of the pain and suffering.
A Normal Day For Me Is Waking Up With Such Terrible Angish That I’m Still Alive. With Rejection Looking Into The Mirror Want To Make More Marks on myself. Through Out The Day With Biopolar . . . . Just So So Sad With Moments Of Anger With The Thoughts Of Cutting Myself And Self Burned To Feel Better. People Who Knew Me Now Judge Me.. I’m No Different Just Know When I’ve Had Enough And My Days With Black-Out Through Out The Days Wishing To Drown My Sorrows In The Bottom Of A Bottle. It’s Never Enough . . . Nothing Ever Is. And […]
Everything that’s said and everything that goes wrong with other peoples life’s get to me. Although it has nothing to do with me it plays on my mind. I don’t talk much but what ever words are said from other people will stay in my mind until I blame myself. That’s when I feel I need to release frustration. I break things. its gotten very serous now and going down other thoughts of self harm. I even blame myself for my parents ageing? I’m seriously at the edge.
… My parents are good people, I can’t talk about them to doctors, I think its unfair which […]
I wish I could tell how I feel, I wish I could let someone in. I’m on the mix of loneliness and illness, I miss talking to the person I used to know. And I’m not gonna lie, it could be hide inside, but a part of me still wants you. The other part is telling me to let you at “platonic loveâ€. Cause I know you and I will never be. It’s hard and it’s wasting me. I’m slowly losing this fight. The fight against myself. Eventually I will give up, as my mind sometimes does. If you look deep inside you maybe you’ll […]
I wonder why Before I met him, I would dance in the shower. When he was in my life, I would think about showering with him. After he left, I would sit on the ground in the shower and cry. When I got over him, I showered so quickly there was no time for dancing, fantasies or tears. Someone can invade the smallest part of your life, you won’t even realise it, until you dance in the shower again, and wonder why you ever stopped.
My girlfriend broke up with me about 2 and a bit months ago and I’m really struggling to carry on living. Our 3 year anniversary was December 11th and she left in October, I had just spent a months wage on taking her out for her birthday to a nice hotel etc and then when I saw her 3 days later she spoke about breaking up. The week she broke up with me I was made redundant at work, it was the anniversary of the death of someone who was like my big brother, it was a week or two before my own birthday and […]
enjoy! 🙂
Hello… I’m Kelly and I’m new here. I know I need help. The only problem is I don’t think I want help. IÂ like the pain, and I like the feeling of loneliness that comes at night. Only I’m getting tired of this escapade. It’s all getting a little crowded. I don’t know what to do.