When I attempted suicide in 2012 I spoke with a shrink before I left to an institution. Do you know what he said? He said what I do to myself would effect not only me but my loved ones as well.The reason why I thought of suicide was because I over think what others think of me. Doesn’t that suck that even before we end our lives were suppose to still care for everyone else. What do you think?
So.. this is my first time being on this site so I want my first post to get some help to learn about this site. Anyone wanna help me? haha. Feel free to tell all you want. Anyway. Hopefully I can get some help or support for some of the things ive been going through. Thanks guys. Byee 🙂
How is crazy defined. Crazy comes on so many levels; good and bad. I’m a bad crazy. I didn’t realize it until just now. It may be the swirling darkness in my brain that has finally led me to this conclusion or it could be the excessive amount of dextromethorphan in my body. As I look back on my life I see that I have always been different. I was never the kid who wanted to go out and play. I was the kid who wanted to stay inside and sit in a corner and read a book. This carries on into my adulthood, where I […]
I hate my family and friends for caring so much. For expecting so much. It’s hard knowing there are people out there rooting for your success but you know you aren’t good enough. I always manage to screw up. I have never been ‘successful’ at something. I’m just fucking average when everyone else is around me, telling me about how great I’m doing. Little do they know that success in my future is probably not going to happen. Therefore I hate everyone for rooting me on, because even more than I hate them for this I hate that someway somehow someday I know that I […]
From the get go I’ve always said you had to be strong to commit suicide, I still do. I’ve attempted several times but still not to avail. Two of those times leaving me in hospital from overdosing, one of which for several days, and another time submitting me to a mental hospital for a week. I’m not proud of this, it makes me feel weak, however a part of me, and it’s a very small part that is glad I made it through.
Only I have the need to hurt myself again, only I don’t know how anymore, (but I’m not asking).
I grew up without a family, […]
I’ve been really bad this last week binge eating a lot and I feel so awful I gained three pounds I need to not eat at all next week to make up for it. I wont eat anyway I have exams…
I’m not the as people would say ‘average’ face of depression. I’m a successful student, cheerleader at a college, have friends (or did) But on this Saturday night I’m doing fine then bam, I’m ‘depressingly bored’ It’s saturday, our football team won the first game of playoff’s woo, I should be out celebrating. I’m not I’m here thinking back to the night I tried to take my life. I’m not so distraught by it anymore. But some times I think why didn’t it happen but bigger question is why did I try? I was talking to my sister the other day about it. I pretty […]
I dated a girl in secret during freshman year I remember she would look so sad and hurt when I would ignore her. After school she would sleep over my house and cuddle and hold me. We had the sweetest relationship I’ve ever seen or experienced. She left me though she was tired of me feeling embaressed. I damaged her self asteem without knowing. I was never embarrassed of her I was just scared of what others would say of her and me. My history of relationships weren’t the best. I want her now. I need her now. I miss her soft lips. The way […]
I don’t know how long this will be, but I tend to ramble, so I apologize in advance. I’m not actively planning any kind of suicide, so don’t worry, but I’ve been tired of this world since I was about 11 or so, and every day continues to exhaust me a little more, so I felt like maybe this would be an ok place to put this. I feel like an idiot for having to get my story out, but I’ve never really let anyone know, and I feel like it’s time to try something new. I’m not a great writer, so
Problems? What problems? I […]
I’m not looking for a debate, I’m open minded looking for a strong belief. Â Death by your own hands or natural causes, what do you think will happen or where you will go, if anything at all, after you die?
Why is it that I feel like I won’t get anywhere in my life? Why?
I try to do everything I can to provide for myself. But I’m only a teenager. ..
I work and put my money towards my truck and to help other people with what I can. But I feel like it’s never good enough. I feel like I can’t tell my mom I need to see a doctor. That I need new glasses. Or that I have cavities and need to see a dentist. Cause I ask for too much.I used to have a lot of thoughts of suicide then I […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Just, hm, I’m brazilian, so, sorry for my english :/
I’m trying so hard, but everyday I wake up I think that might break and I hate me, I fucking hate me for failing to stand up.
Thanks to all of you who are trying to help me, but idk if I can go on anymore.
I feel so fuckin sad, so lonely, so tired of everything.
idk why people have to hurt each other, idk, maybe that let them better, I just dk.
Today I lost myself, hurt myself again, i have done it again and just, idk.
Last week I almost died of overdose, […]
The issue has been with me for a long time since I was a kid. My parents were loving people. They said and did a lot of things to make me think that they really do.
I moved from here to there many many times. I have transferred 7 different schools while I was in highschool then I (alone) moved to United States in junior high and then I transferred twice again before going in to college - no clear reasons of moving were provided each time. While I was in college, I transferred once without having anyone tell me to do so. I look back now and see how […]
I dont think i could ever really do it although one tine i came dangerously close.
I think about it. I understand i dont necessarily want to die that i just want THIS life to end, to change but… Sometimes change seems impossible or too slow or too far away. I think about it a lot and really wish i could.
My progress, my improvements don’t seem like enough. I think I’ll never be good enough, sane enough.
Tonight I wish I could but would be too embarrassed to be found. Sometimes I get my brothers Ranger knife and hold it, think about it. Right now I’m laying […]
I am ashamed of being my parents’ child.
They’ve given me a beautiful life.
Yet, I don’t appreciate it at all.
I can’t give them, the true gratitude that’s within my heart.
I don’t have enough potential even if I do strive to do my best.
But my best is not enough.
A pitiful child, I am.
My efforts are nothing.
Even if I were trade my life for death, I could not do so.
As for now, I just need to look for the reason to continue on.
i used to listen to some spiritual teaching a few years back, dont really remember anything of it anymore but one thought tends to come back to me from time to time and i made it into my little, fraked up, non existent love-life’s philosophy. it goes something like this.
you cant love somebody else until you learn to love yourself because without appreciating your own values and beauty how could you believe that somebody else would love you for those same qualities? loving somebody else without loving yourself is practicly just clinging, a supplementary to our own, missing positivity, grabbing somebody in the hope […]
do you ever have those dreams that make you stop sleeping i have them i only 3 hours sleep because of them they haunt me, my being my soul my brain my emotions my heart my whole life, i cant do much now i cut because of them i cut because sad and depressed is there any way of getting out of this black hole or am i stuck in this hole forever is this going to my life is it going to forever or short term but i don’t know whether i want it or not i’m scared and relieved at the same time. […]
I’m so sorry, I feel like such an attention whore. I’ve already posted two times before this in the last two days and I’m wasting your time as it is… but I’m going to do it. I’m sitting here with a knife in my hand and I think I’m going to do it. I’m going to slash my throat. It’s either that or use the lighter I have next to me. Some stupid part of me is still holding out for some kind of humanity, some kind of hope to cling onto. Why should I let myself live. Why do I deserve to live. Please […]