I used to cut, but I recently stopped because I made a promise to my friend. And honestly speaking I don’t even have an urge to cut anymore. It’s much worse. I can’t stop thinking about killing myself. I even tried overdosing on some random pills. But I guess I’m not very lucky. Every night I have this shitty feeling. I’m tired of myself. And worst thing is that I can’t talk to anyone about it, mostly because no one cares.
I am 17 and I really want to die. I have done a lot of bad things in my life. I am really addicted to porn and I really do not know what to do know with my life. is it okay for me to die?
No one sees me falling
No one sees me dying
No one sees me crying.
Not even the rain.
im tierd of living its hard i cant keep going on i live a life of certin doom that i bring upon myself i dopnt know why i do it iguess i just cant stop hurting myself ive been raped ive been hit ive been hurt by everyone in my life . i just cant keep going.i feel the urg to cut and i cant stop hurting myself i just want out of my body.
Just a poem I’ve written today which is I think pretty recognizable for people who cut. It’s the way I feel about it.
The first time,
it feels so innocent.
Just a small scratch.
But after a while,
you know that first cut wasn’t that innocent.
It was the beginning of an addiction,
that’s hard to beat.
And addiction that’s getting worse and worse.
There’s nothing left of that first little scratch.
The cuts you make now are much worse.
While you’re cutting,
you can see the skin tearing apart.
You can feel the stinging pain,
of your knife that’s cutting in your skin.
You […]
It could’ve been a lot worse. I could’ve had a life like you, and you, and you…
What is it?? Do I really have a warped mind? Am I sick? Do I need someone else’s help? Am I simply ungrateful? Lazy? Stupid? Ill-intentioned? What is wrong with me?? Why am I this way???
Mera koe frnd ne h….jo ha wo padai ke wja se dur rhte ha…gf ha bt wo time ne dte .,….
ghar walo pe be bojh hu …….
simly totly brbd diperesd persn ned death
y i study for whom
me q kru mehnat
I’m tired, overwhelmed, uninspired, afraid, hurting, uninspired and I don’t know how to get past it. I might not even know what it is I’m trying to get past. I try something new only to spin my wheels. I’m living my life on repeat, with the same worn out patterns and themes playing again and again.
Walking peaceful, barefoot over the green cold grass valley, surrounded by trees, with the humming of butterfly wings, covering the trees like blossoms. Distrait minded, gliding slowly across the valley to nowhere. Flickering reminiscent images of agony and affliction that rotten my core, reminds me why I am here, nowhere. Lifting my arms out stretched beside me, the swift wind passes all around me, almost like spirits touching and welcoming my soul.
Like brethren they whisper to each other. Overwhelmed with emotion the tears stream out of my emotionless eyes, and down to my chest where the wind flicks them into the air. Â Â Yonder is a […]
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If suicidal thoughts are to be replaced with thought of life, a new thought system must be utilized; one with a new focus and a new goal. Such is A Course in Miracles. It is flexible, in that, it sees you where you are, as you are, as well as where you could be without the thought of death. It provides a workbook of lessons to train the student in how the shift of perception can be made. It does not force, but enables. It does not appeal to everyone, though it has a profound effect on those whom find it appealing. Here is the […]
im scared to cut again not because of the pain but because i might loose my boyfriend i love him sooo much but the thing is he wants me to get an abortion if i was pregnet and now he will leave me if i carry on cutting but i dont want to loose him so what shall i do to stop self-harm??
No one understands me or the way I feel. I’m deeply depressed and cant tell anyone about it. I have so many things wrong with me.. I hate my self for who I am, I hide everything, because if I told someone they would think im crazy or a lunatic. Suicide is constantly on my mind, but who do I run to when no one is there? I ask my self that every Day.
Some days are better than other, but it always comes back to the worse ones, no matter what.
I hide from battles with my mom that i don’t want to fight.
But at this point i’m not sure who’s to blame anymore.
I TRY so much, to make everything right. Perfect. I plan and plan, but it leads to nothing.
I’ m useless. I think i do something very good and impressive, then the next day i apparently don’t do anything.
I try to help fix issues we have in the house, then the next i’m just like HER.
I want to be different, not be compared to someone else, but […]
Its been like a month since I actually planned a suicide. But I guess it just went away. But now its on my mind every minute of the day (no exaggeration). I see no life worth living if no one even wants to be friends or hang out with me. I couldn’t even get a girlfriend in my life but I guess that’s my fault.
I used to be afraid of dying in a painful way, but now I just don’t care. Ill hang myself with no second thought.
Though if you are reading this and wondering why the hell am i not dead yet. Its only […]
this just plain angers me and makes me jealous.im a person suffering from both of some of the worst mental illness and cronic pain diseases i can imagion also have cancer.dam right im looking for a way out,lm not gonna go into detail explaining discriptions of my disease colection.but when i imagine my health condition in the soon future.l fear dyeing a slow painful death in a hospital while in the care from strangers.i am trying to make a plan so l can die in my own bed,and be feeling high on drug of choice and have the most painless methed i can asist myself […]
Well i started cutting last night around noon. now at this moment i have four cuts. my friends found out well now i dont have anymore friends. just fu**in love my life…. i figured theyd support me but all they did was turn and get mad at me. i hate my damn life… cant anyone just understand?
I don’t want a house,
I don’t want kids.
I’ve traveled, but I don’t think I like that
When I do nice things for people, I don’t feel good or bad about it.
I really feel like the thing that I look forward to most during the day is going back to sleep.
As far as age goes, I’m moving away from my prime, and I really don’t want to watch my body decay.
The combination of these things make me yearn for non-existence.
However, I don’t want to hurt my parents, so I feel like I’m waiting for them to die, so I can pass on with a good conscience. But, […]
I’ve gotten a lot better. Or at least I like to think that way.
I almost had an anxiety attack the other night, but I called my boyfriend in and asked for a pill to make me go to sleep. He didn’t ask questions and gave me the little herbal knock-out pill. The other night at work when things got completely out of control, I could have broken down, I wanted to break down. But I didn’t.
I got into that wreck today and I screamed at myself for a minute. My boyfriend told me he’d stay home with me tonight if he needed to.
I.. I did something so bad… I told the whole truth last night, I told him I did it for his attention just so that he will be more attentive of me. But it all went wrong… I didn’t expect this. No…. We’re still together now.. But it’s my turn to take the wheel. It is my turn to be the one who takes the lead. He’s not going to treat me like what he did before. He’s not going to love me as much. He’s not going to put all his effort into this r/s anymore. He’s not going to trust me anymore and […]