Erase You

Some days are better than other, but it always comes back to the worse ones, no matter what.

I hide from battles with my mom that i don’t want to fight.

But at this point i’m not sure who’s to blame anymore.

I TRY so much, to make everything right. Perfect. I plan and plan, but it leads to nothing.

I’ m useless. I think i do something very good and impressive, then the next day i apparently don’t do anything.

I try to help fix issues we have in the house, then the next i’m just like HER.

I want to be different, not be compared to someone else, but I end up being judged and shamed.

Sometimes I can laugh and smile with you, but It all feels unreal, cause i can feel the hate… deep down in there, boiling up. Waiting to EXPLODE.

Sometimes I wish you would die. I think you’re UGLY when you’re mad. I hate to admit it, but it’s true. I feel more hatred then love towards you, and I blame you for it.

I stopped telling you ”I love you”  because you stopped LONG before.

You say we won’t cry or miss you when you’re gone, but in truth it’s not true. You’re a heartless *****. An insensitive one. I know i’m not the best at showing those types of emotions, but I tell you. You won’t believe me though.

I’m caged in. This house. I’m stuck with you until I can escape. Life with you is daily Hell.

Maybe some day i’ll find the courage to embrace. Maybe some day i’ll find the strength to erase you.

You’re the one I chose to feed me pain.