As the time draws near and the time for my exit gets close I can’t help but wonder “is this what I really want?”

The end…The final breath…The final speck of light that will flee from my eyes as they go blank as I gaze at the sky….

Is this really what it has come to?

All the hours in school; Pointless

All my memories; Lost

All my progress in life thus far; Gone

All my achievements; Forfeited

All my favorite things; Erased

Everything that I have ever experienced; Forgotten

But as I reflect upon these things I had an epiphany ….Whether I die on the date I have scheduled or not….these things still […]

I posted recently about deciding to quit dxm for the long term.  So far it has not been too hard.  My mental health is drastically improving.  The only this is the boredom I feel now.

What is everyone up to tonight?  I always try to respond as soon as I can.

<this is a rant- you’ve been warned>

you’re such a fucking joke, you know that?

i’ve known you for over 10 years and i’m just starting to realize what a horrible person you are. you hate being judged, but you’re the first to judge someone else. you are a complete fucking hypocrite, and make my life hell. you tell me to stop bringing up the past because you’ve changed but you just keep proving my points. i know you hate him, but that gives you no right demand him to do something after ignoring his existence FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR, and then spend weeks bitching about what […]

I have been out of work since I graduated from a master’s program. Since then, I’ve been struggling with severe depression. It’s been so bad that I get to the point where I have panic and anxiety attacks when going to interviews. I’m on welfare, but it doesn’t give me enough money to live. My boyfriend has been helping me, but he got laid off. I am so worried about money and how I am going to eat and pay rent that it’s hard to do any job searching. I’m to the point where I don’t think I can work right now until I get […]

ok so after about 2 hours of sitting here thinking of what to say, how to say it, and again asking myself “is there a point?” I guess the only reason or in my case the only point that i should do this is because i do know that if i don’t try something soon, i am going to hurt myself sooner or later.

So lets start at the beginning, At 17 I was strongly concidering suicide, I was 5 mins away from blowing my head off with a shotgun, i mean i had it under my chin and everything, i was just trying to get […]

Somedays I just lay in my bed staring at the walls in silence. I get so busy in letting my thoughts run that an hour will casually slip by, just like that. Sometimes two.
Staring at these white walls.
Not listening to music, not sleeping, not on my laptop, not even moving a twitch. I just let myself breathe in silence.
And I wonder adding up all those hours, adding into days, weeks of endless uselessness of nothing when I go to meet God will he damn me for these days of wasting my “precious” life he gave? The big man will ask me, why […]

A few months ago I posted my suicide note on here, well… I’m still alive, the dog leash I used broke while I was hanging… no one found out about it thankfully… I guess the moral of the story is, don’t buy cheap dog leashes….

I feel so lonely today. Someone that I didn’t like got a rose from a boy. I felt so bad after that I literally cried for hours I told my dad and sister and they said I was being “immature” and “childish” and that it was “my fault” that no one likes me.But they don’t know what it’s like to feel so alone and have no one. I just want to die now. No one likes me and no one cares. This morning I wanted to talk to the school consoler but she was too busy. No one has time for me.

some members don’t like my posts here as i can understand,well if you don’t like my posts growup and fuck off.i am serious just fuck off.their is something called ignorance.so ignore it and fuck off.i just meet the 4th guy who try’s to bully me here.here you got you something fuckoff.jsreynolds,glovanni,i don’t know you but if you don’t like my posts.just fuckoff.but trying to bully me here is like pushing a wall.you maybe dumb and try it but it won’t stay longer.let’s respect each other.otherwise fuck the fuck and get fuckoff.standrr’s ***** well you give some awful comment for me.but it is ok cause you […]

So, I found this site after typing into my search engine “The only reason I haven’t killed myself is because of my dogs”. This statement has been true for me for almost 10 years now. I have been a collector of pets since I have been out on my own, and a hard look at myself made me realize that the reason for this is to give myself an excuse not to end it. After all, my dogs would starve to death if I offed myself, as I live alone and have no one here. That realization is a scary one for me, and not […]

Sittin here cryin cause I hurt so bad and I’ve had no sleep. I can’t get help from the Drs bc they don’t want to up my meds bc they say ill get hooked…fuck that, I jus want to feel better…its unbearable…I can’t live like this with a Tens machine strapped to my back 24/7…I shouldn’t hav to either…idk what to do.

I know I’ve probably posted this so many times by now and I’m going crazy about my education. I desperately want to drop out and finally do what I want to do (online education) but there’s only one thing holding me back and making me feel like shit…my parents. Should I just not give a shit what they think and do what I want because at the end of the day, it’s my life and they can’t force me to do anything? I’m so bloody confused and going crazy about all this, I guess because it’s my first time leaving school for good…

Maybe suicide, and by extension, any death, isn’t as big a deal as we, the living, tend to make it out to be?

Maybe ‘they’ are right: maybe we really do simply need to “just get over it.”

After all, being debilitated by sadness and “wallowing in self pity,” pining away in poignant poetry, languishing in labyrinthine lament… doesn’t really make anything any better… does it? It doesn’t help you live your life, or reduce the suffering of your sorrows. It doesn’t funnel your energy into a concentrated beam of razor sharp precision, to become useful in cutting out all the parts you don’t like, and severing […]

I’m starting to think again that maybe I should kill myself.
I’m feeling that my illusions and barriers are breaking down.
It’s becoming more apparent that this isn’t real.
Nothing is real, it’s all just a movie playing inside my head.
I’m feeling increasingly numb to the idea of swallowing a cup of pills.
It dosn’t scare me.
I think it would be a great way to die.
Waves of delusion washing through my body and a simple conclusion.
It’s not real, none of this is real.
Escape the game, leave it all behind.
It’s coming back, the feelings and the thoughts.
The getting worse.

Hi I feel so ill I keep on thinking of ways to kill myself, I struggle to trust people including my family so I never talk to them about my feelings, in fact the only person I trust is my dog Poppy, she helped me through the hardest time of my life and if it wasn’t for her then I would have probably gone through with committing suicide a very long time ago, but I was about 12 years old when my older brother was tormenting me and we were arguing, just like any other brother and sister, my brother ended up punching me in […]

What do you do when you screw up killing yourself (again).Is it just tk be seen as another failure or in failure is it a success?
There used to be so many great methods posted here that
ade it look so easy but you screwed up yet again. So what is it to .e is failure to succeed a success or not? Time to vote sports fans.

Not the musical, never seen it.

I love when my kitty lays next to me when we’re going to sleep and she’s all twitchy because she’s dreaming. I think the idea that animals dream is so cute and funny. Are they thinking about the crunchies they’ll eat tomorrow or the shits they will shat? Or maybe they’re dreaming about the other 16 hrs they’ll be sleeping. Or dreaming of their bigger brethren on the sahara chasing down zebras.

Whatever they dream about they’re darn cute when they twitch and make squeaky noises.

Even in various stages of suicidal states, kitty dreams make me smile.

from the age 3-11 i was abused by my mom and dad, they used to lock me in the celler and keep me there i used to get whipped on my back and i wouldnt get fed till 9 at night no breakfeast i was bearly living i was named disgraced i even have it scarred into my skin from my dad my brothers couldnt do anything i couldnt talk to my brothers or sister till i was old enough to leave the house im now 14 suffering from self-harm but that is the only thing for my relief, i have no idea why my […]

Its so true, so so true, people who cut do it because there in some kind of pain, well bullying is not exactly making it better. Your just killing your population, make sence and keep your thoughts to yourself because you no its not helping them, we dont nee attention and thats not we are but bullying us isent clever and it just makes you look lonely and sad, so dont do it because it wont change anything..

Every day i live is an endless cycle of misery and pain , the only shit that keeps me from killing myself are my freinds….. my fake freinds that dont give a fuck about me. I dont know how much longer i can keep from killing myself.  The only things that help me get thru life are drugs and cutting myself. My blade is my last real Freind