I am a 20 year old female attending university within my home town. I honestly feel lost within my own life. I am a waste of space. I do not know how to cook, terrible at cleaning, and struggle to manage a workload in school that others would find easy. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety disorder. I was never social as a child; I can’t go up to someone and start a conversation. I had a happy childhood, up to a point. Our home has come under disrepair within the past decade or so. I love my parents, at least I […]
i think i quit….. i’m just done…. fuck life
Been a while since I vented to my fellow suicidies. Thankfully, I haven’t been feeling so suicidal lately– but I still feel mentally unstable. I guess most of the reason for my mental stability has been my comfort in solitude and repetition. As much as the repetitive drag of everyday seems to weigh me down, I’ve felt quite anchored in it.
A few days ago I received the ominous “hey” text from an ex boyfriend. My repetitive reality has been temporarily shattered. It’s been almost a year since I last spoke to this ex boyfriend. I’ve been through a couple stages: When is he going to […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lq3iagZzloUÂ – are you happy now_ megan and liz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ksdt_9tuP0I– scars_ papa roach
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fksp8J73GUw– pain_ three days grace
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhJ6bE4z5vs – last resort_ papa roach
^ These songs sum things up a bit i guess
Don’t Hate Me
iv’e never done anything to you
so don’t hate me because you don’t know me
you can’t judge me by my appearance
just like you cant judge a book by its cover
i’m better on the inside so just give me a chance
just like that book that looks boring but was actually an amazing book
now i know i’m not beautiful […]
I prefer not to dream. There is a peace in the dreamless oblivion that doesn’t compare to anything in the waking world. I don’t have to live, to breathe, to think, or even to be. I don’t have to do anything within the oblivion. It’s a pure nothingness. When I wake, that’s when the reasons for leaving become very clear.
To wake without prospect, without hope, where you have to struggle with even one reason to get out of bed and go about the day–it’s a living nightmare. To have nothing to look forward. To know that THIS day will be exactly the same as the […]
A fictional account of a better idea, from the mind of a man wearing worn pants.
I found this a while back and have often wanted to share it, but always struggled to remember the name, or locate the link buried in my countless bookmarks… but here it is.
“The Ragged Trousered Philosopher’s Conversation With God”
(I totally didn’t expect that site-cap to occupy the entire front page; my bad.)
Just wanted to share this here for you guys, as i think many of you may find it interesting, possibly useful.
And for those of you whose eyes have opened wide enough, to see […]
Wouldn’t it be ironic if you did it today?
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety issues, as well as PTSD a few months ago now. I’ve had a doctor, a counsellor, a psychologist and a psychiatrist all working really hard with me to try and straighten some stuff out, and we were doing really well for a while there. I took all the meds, I answered all the questions, I attended every appointment, I talked, I listened, I did everything they all said. But I am so tired and so worn down, that I think I’ve finally had enough.
I cancelled my psychologist appointment this week. She is an incredibly talented woman, so good […]
Hi Everyone, I feel like this is becoming my personal blog space where I can talk about my miserable existance.
So it is decided then. Â I will be attending the Msc in Accounting and Finance at Edinurgh.
I will be going there on friday. If I fail the course I guess an easy way out is just ending it all.
Anyways time to take my anti depressant and wash it down with some alcohol so I can dose away. No more whiskey but I do have some wine.
So today I did nothing. I had a talk with my bossy sister who said I had to do this masters. […]
have to get some shots tomorrow. they might see some other scars. if they ask i’ll probably cry… if i do, they’ll think something’s wrong. why is it so difficult to have/show any feelings in this world today? um anyway, even if it goes fine, i’m pretty much done. not angry or tired or anything, just feeling inadequate/invisible… and i don’t want to be here/anywhere anymore. how this will end, i don’t know yet, but i know it will end soon.
i will lay my body down
oh somewhere, beneath the sun
flee the safety of the trees
where i’ve taken, i have not brought
i will bathe my chest […]
I’m so depressed today ,I’m all alone.Everyone’s so pretty and happy.What the f*** am I? A f***in loser that can never stay happy for no longer than 5 minutes.Kill myself.It’s the only solution.People never help me and I can’t help myself anymore,I’m tired . No one actually needs me . If I were to kill myself sure some people would cry but No one has EVER made me feel wanted or loved.
“Better an end with terror, than a terror without end.”
“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?”
“A lot of you cared, just not enough.”
“But in the end, one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.”
Lots and lots of insightful and witty statements and quotes about shuffling off this mortal coil at http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/suicide?page=1
Not all of us will escape suicide.
It doesn’t always get better.
There isn’t always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Life isn’t always worth fighting for.
Some of us are mistakes.
Some of us are, in fact, better off dead.
Not all of us matter.
3000 people will commit suicide in the world today.
I will be one of them.
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, it does make a sound. But no one cares.
I wish I knew what I want exactly. I keep thinking about it. it looks too unreasonable, even in this stupid life, to suffer pointlessly. there must be a reason, I must be wanting something, for no particularly tragic thing ever happened to me in past, except, maybe, bullying..on which i only laugh now. Yet I can never pinpoint exactly what it is. there are many temporary wants, but afterall they are temporary..and even in their moments of fulfillment i feel something inherently missing.
does happy new years make sense to you.it is ethiopian new year.and it
Is not different from last day.just another more number.
Do you have a father? I know everyone has, but does your dad love you? Does he remember your birthday? Does he remember, how old you are? Does he want you a good life? Or does he even want you to live?
Mine doesn’t.
Mine was ready to kill me.
Mine values beer over me.
My mum left my dad when I was 2 years, because dad threatened her and my lives. He said he’d kill mum. And when mum left, dad wouldn’t want her to have me, so he wanted to slice me in two pieces, one for him and one for mum. Or just kill me so […]
if one were to take 2000 mg+ of lexapro would it kill me or make me just end up in the hospital? I think i might actually have 3000 – 4000 though would that kill you?
September 10, 2013
As this may be the last year of my life, I am posting this confession, if you will, to explain why I might commit suicide sometime between June-November of 2014. It’s way out there in mid to late 2014 and not now because I’m giving myself a last chance to succeed. I’m old now, I’ve had 3 health crises in the last 3 years, and my finances, while sufficient for the next 2 years, are not enough to carry me through a long retirement. At this point, given my health, depressed mental condition, and the odds of achieving a major financial reversal […]
This is a very strange discovery. Anyone hear about Martin Manley? Wasn’t too well-known, sportscaster writer guy. Well he created this huge website about his life and why he eventually chose suicide that became active the day he died. It’s so interesting and a little eerie. If you’re interested…
http:// martinmanley.org /january_1_20 12.html   (n o  s p a c e s)