i’m so sick and tired of existing. sometimes i don’t feel fear, i am terrified of the pain that will come with killing myself because there is no easy way out, but sometimes i feel no fear, i feel desperation and unbearable pain. i just want it to be over and i NEED the courage to just fucking do it. i’m miserable and tired. the worst part to all of this is that there is no reason behind any of the pain that i feel or for that matter the pain anybody feels. theres no reason. no meaning. nothing. as they say, shit just happens. […]

I am in my 50’s and have been through a divorce, lost my family, lost my home, declared bankruptcy, and lost my job.  All of this has happened in the last 2 years.  I am now living with my parents.  What a loser, huh?   I don’t want cto live anymore.  I feel I have really screwed up my life.  I think about suicide everyday.  I don’t see how I can ever be happy again.  It would be best for my friends and family if I weren’t here to burden them.  I just want to die!!  I am a guy who is used to being […]

I hope today is finally the day….. Being bullied by everyone including my family has brought me to what it feels like is the only and final decision I have left. My family has lied to me pretending they care then humiliating me every chance they get letting other people come and join in. I have been a drug addict ever since middle school always trying to drown my pain with euphoria. I was the biggest dreamer I ever knew always telling my mom and my grandma I’m going to make us rich and buy you a big house one day and now they are […]

I’ve changed so much in the last 5 years (I’m 14) I used to be so happy, so carefree,so blameless… what has changed? When did I stop being happy , when did everything become my fault?

I tried to kill myself this summer because I hated my dad and he was always bossing me around and insulting me.I hated him so much that I wanted to run away but I didn’t have anywhere to go… so I decided it would be better if I just killed myself and leave a note that would make him feel guilty… I tried to kill myself but I couldn’t I […]

Have any of you seen 2001: A Space Odyssey? I saw it ages ago, and I don’t know why I’m suddenly thinking of it, but it basically sums up everything I think that’s wrong with the human race. I do think it’s an amazing film. If you haven’t seen it, check it out. I’ll be saying some mild spoilers below (I’ll warn first).

Ok, so the movie tells the story of humankind’s evolution from ape days to the colonization of space. It’s practically a documentary on evolution but focusing on the fictional future and with cool space ships and stuff.

The recurring theme is how humans survive […]

I am on antidepressants and I have found it has completely fucked up my sexual gratification. I find that I can become aroused, to the point of orgasm. However, I find that I can’t really orgasm… If I do, then it’s half the sexual satisfaction it used to be.

Does anyone have some advice? Is this happening to others?

I am on Escitalopram.

This is really frustrating, please reply with any advice you have.

Christianity says god hates the liar, the theif, the fornicator, the idol worshiper, the blashemizer, the homosexual. THOSE PPL are hated and go to hell to burn forever. THe pain down there was so severe the devil had to blow a bullet through theier heads to make it stop. the CHristian god hates the doubleminded, and the weakminded and those that belong to satan. I am a victim of child abuse, sexual abuse and suffered a hate crime most of my life. i mock the numbers 33 they show up with a one track mind out to love and compare shit to diamonds. I HATE […]

Dear Bharati, you should not speak openly how much you hate god. there are millions and millions of people who do,. Please believe this, i absolutely do not believe in him or love him, i’ve been a aethiest for years ever since i got a incurable illness that hurt me terribly year after year. In that time frame I know other ppl(my enemies) were given ever opportunity, chance and good quality of life. its like they delibearely chose me to harm and punish like someone getting run over by a car or blown up by a bomb. i’m not liked or wanted. A LOT OF […]

Dear guardian,

If your there, pleace guide me were I need to be.

Im lost in the shadow’s of my past. The thorne of the roses dont let me move. I only see darkness and pain. Guardian if you are truly there pleace help me.

I dont know what to do anymore. This pain hurts badly and its killing me.

Pleace Guardian, if you can hear me, I beeg you. Pleace help me and guide me to the light.

Fuck! Someone tell me what to god dam do? I cant seeen to fuckn readjust after being in two theaters of combat. Its like whatever I do back home is wrong, I try and try but always fuck up. I took a dark cloud or a curse with me. I cannot function here. No one can help. I need to run. i think I van do this if I run. Drop all my bills and mistakes and go. Live in the woods or canada or thailand. Just chop wood. I stare at my handgun.  i cant do it and I cant run and no one […]

I just killed a huge spider that was peeking at me going to the bathroom. Don’t you hate that..when you’re helpless on the toilet and a spider comes crawling up to you or on the wall next to you? And you can’t just kill it right away cuz if it gets away, you’re still stuck on the can! Then they disappear and it’s game over for the toilet crusader!

Lucky this one didn’t disappear on me. I finished my business and I got up and sprayed it with the bug spray till it was blinded and fell to the floor. Then I quickly dispatched him […]

I feel really bad right now, like it would be better if I didn’t wake up tomorrow. I’m finding it hard to juggle everything especially a boyfriend. I just don’t have time to myself anymore. I really need it, really need it.

So far I think school is “ok”… I have : Japanese 1,Algebra 2 honors, Biology 1 honors,English 1 honors ,HOPE(which is P.E),Intensive math(Algebra EOC) and World history honors…

I love the Japanese teacher , he’s not asian but he’s so fluent at Japanese and he’s fun

I don’t like P.E already but I have to take 2 years of “HOPE”

Intensive math(Algebra EOC) is fun too, I have the class because I failed the Algebra EOC 4 TIMES

The English teacher isn’t my favorite and we have work already

The Algebra 2 teacher is extremely nice to everyone

BIOLOGY is kinda boring but it’s better than English honors and P.E

World history is […]

Have to get this off my chest.

It’s eleven months ago today. Eleven months since he killed himself, my dear brother.
You know, the longest I ever had to miss him was 10 days. That was when he left for a camp with a youth movement. And I remember missing him so badly, I just couldn’t wait to see him again. I still can’t believe he’s not coming back now, I mean, how can he be gone? How can a life, built up over 16 long years, just disappear in a second?
If a stranger would come in our house, they wouldn’t even know he’s not […]

I would just like to know about any songs that just change your opinion or decision of something.
Have you ever been so built up with frustration and other emotions and then as soon as you hear a certain song or poem, you just instantly change and start to calm down or approach the subject/event differently?
If so, Please just share some songs or something. I’m interested in what people think of their music

I’m not sure why I sneak out of bed every night, get my pistol and just stare at it for hours instead of simply pulling the trigger in my garage.

All my problems will come scretching to a halt, with one tiny trigger pinch.

Why the hell is this so hard????????????????

When I see you smile,

And hold your hand

I feel blesses, so full of soul.But inside my chestI’m bleeding,

From a cavernous, heart-shaped hole.

When you hold me tight it feels like flying,

When you kiss me softly I feel like crying.

I seem okay, but inside I’m dying.

For you have my soul, my dying breath.

Whilst  cling to only memories left.

from when it hurt us both to part,

From when you held me in your heart.

On the surface all I have is passion.

But beneath the mask is pain.

And every time I fell renewed,

I’m plunged into sorrow again.

Each day is painful to live.

And I have nothing left to give.

The blue skies darken […]

I’m past the point of caring for anyone or anything. I realized this yesterday when my friend threatened suicide if I did and a horrid thought had hit me, I didn’t really care.

If anyone has an explanation as to why I feel this way or answer the title question please say.

Sometimes I just try to be positive.

Igrew up in a- well, not poor, but not wealthy- family. So by the way every single problem was money.

Our father left us, I have a sister that has cerebral palsy,

and well there are maaaaany negative things in my life, i went through horrible stories in my life and things that i just heard out from my mom and everything

I don’t have real friends, I mean, no one tries to hear me, cause they think that im crazy, even my boyfriend sometimes he just doesnt want to hear me or something, i think he thinks that everything that is […]