so i know i have fucked up yet agin i keep fucking up its my fucking gosh darn emotions i have such extreme anxitey i dont feel safe i dont feel okay i feel lways on edge i defintley feel tense i mean i dont just know anymore i feel like such a loser i wish things were the way they use to be i dont liek how the future is looking i dont like how things will end up and i fucking knew it i fucking knew that life was going to be horrible and it keeps getting shitty and i guess it could […]

I have been married for 25 years to the love of my life.Three months ago I was diagnosed with non small cancer of the lung and mets to the brain. Inoperable. One week later i found out my wife has been having an affair for three years. when I confronted her about it she told me she did not love me and has not most of our marriage. She stayed because I was a great provider and safe choice. she told me she has had six affairs in all. I am a broken man. She will not even take me to my chemo treatments. I […]

To night is the night I will be taking enough insulin and metforman to never wake up. i haven’t felt this much at peace in years. no more crap job, no more pain from my back , no more pain at all just peace forever. just thinking about it makes me smile. a real smile not one i just put on for the world one for myself and its been a long time.

I just wake up every morning and I can’t see a reason to live. I’m tired of everything and everybody, tired of myself and tired to fake smiles. I just want it to stop.

it scares me to be home alone. i like it. i like the freedom but i hate being by myself im scared what im going to do. thats why i always go out so im not left alone with my thoughts. .. i had a really weird urge to cut that randomly happened with one of my friends over. i couldnt wait for her to leave so i just locked myself in my bathroom with my razor and went at my wrist. fucking shit the cuts just went away so now i have to hide them from people.

I’m a liar because I wont tell you everything. I’m stupid because sometimes im wrong. I’m ugly because my face isn’t perfect. I’m a push over because I like making people happy. I’m a loser because I’m a not friend with your group. I’m fake because I’m too nice. I’m weird because I’m not like you. I’m fat because I eat when I’m hungry. I’m clingy because I don’t like to be alone. I’m insecure because I care about what people think of me. I’m no fun because I’m not always hyper? Don’t try to tell me who I am BecauseI already know! </3

sleeping is good. I like sleep.
It’s like death, but without the committment…

went out today. first time this summer holiday. wore a midi dress for the first time this year but felt too exposed and walked around for 3 hours with my wool shawl pulled and hugged tight against my body in the sweltering heat. Today i was being judged to see if he wants me as part of his possy, so to speak. my best friend is part of the group, she said they’re nice and friendly. i didnt notice though, i was too absorbed in my anxious thoughts, looking out for people from school that i’d have to hide from. People make me uncomfortable. he […]

I’m done. I can’t believe I have to keep waking up for the next… what? How long? I don’t know what is going to happen with my marriage or anything else. I don’t know how my … self… is going to affect my kids. How long am I going to just be getting from one end of the day to the other? I don’t want to say it’s unfair, because no one’s inflicting it on me. I don’t know how God works, but I know God doesn’t work like this. Personal freedoms, free-will, poor choices, poor judgment.. Tendencies toward self destruction, self harm, self abuse. […]

I love my wife and Kids, but I am as low as I have ever been.  I lost my job, and this forces us to move to a new town.  My wife resigned her job, my kids 7 and 5 will enter new schools and we will be on my salary alone.  The pressure is killing me.  I have never been so close to ending it all.  I have a new job, I have a good new job, it’s hard for me to see it.  I’ve been so low for so long.  My kids bring me joy, that’s why i don’t end it all.

I feel […]

Anyone who is interested in being part of a large movement to prevent teenage (and adult) suicides, please contact me.

I am looking for individuals to share their story on camera in order help others to overcome their problems and realize there is a reason for you to be alive!

Message me for more details please.

I’ve been suicidal for many years and, to an extent, most of my life. Not a manic obvious case of suicide but a quite, calm and patient case. It was supposed to all happen tomorrow, Friday, July 26th 2013 but won’t.

I realized recently that my plan all this time was not the right way to go about things. The plan was to take my friend’s handgun and walk from his place to the nearby hospital. There I would warn the staff about the events that were going to take place, to prepare surgery for my organ donation, and to clear out the area so that […]

About a week ago I found this site and decided to tell me story. There were some people who advised me to reconsider my suicide. The last couple of days I have been thinking, over thinking and rethinking the idea of taking my own life. And I have come to the conclusion that I will do it.

I know what it means to be death, there is no coming back or any way to reclaim your body. I’m calm about taking my own life because death, in my eyes, is a way to finally let everything rest.

“It’s not suicide if you’re already dead inside”.

Before I finally […]

Last night, I had a bittersweet dream…….. I wasn’t depressed and I was with my friends and family and we were having a good time. I cant remember all the details just little bits and pieces. I remember me and my old best friend were  at the beach with two girls laughing, having fun, happy, smiling, and enjoying the time. when I awoke this morning and realized I was still here and that I had been dreaming it felt like I had been punched in the heart. To come back to reality and realize none of those things happened is devastating. I wish I could […]

I want to feel I’m punishing myself, I feel like this since I was teenage. looking for the most painful methods, hate life, hate myself, planning attempting.
I want to shoot the point between my breasts, aim to my heart, I could shoot my stomach first just for pain. if I didnt die, I’d shoot my heart.

Ever wish the road never ended..? That you just keep going when the wind feels like a whisper.. and the sky is as clear as a tear..? That you’re feelings never crept up to snatch you up. Careless. Carefree. Nothing to worry about.. Cry about.. Think about. The wind just kissing you softly and singing sweet lullaby’s as your feet slowly move like robots..? Just able to look up and smile.. a big smile.. and a laugh.. Something.., you’re not able to do right now. Looking at the never ending beautiful road ahead. Going forward.. and not backward.. Saying goodbye to everything that has made […]

Pretty sure I’ll be doing it within a month. I’ve decided on a hanging, I’ve looked into the subject a lot and the best options are expensive, and the other options can leave you pretty messed up. Hanging can too of course but has a higher success rate and is cheap to do. I knew a guy who tried shooting himself in the hospital during a previous attempt so even guns aren’t a guarantee but nothing is really. I don’t really expect anyone to read this, I notice most posts on here don’t have comments, so either no one reads or no one cares. That’s […]

I have about three weeks to plan this. Because i’m planning suicide I would like to leave my family with as little to do as possible. and it’s kind of odd if i start making my own slide shows lol i want to make a blog like way for them to easily access information though music is how id like to express myself; there are just so many songs to chose from. am i going to be hated because i committed suicide? My sister is VERY AGAINST it and i would like to leave her with science backed […]