all my friends hate me, everyone hates me. Im that type of friend whos truly depressed and sad on the inside, ive been hiding my cuts and burns. All my friends whine about “oh im so sad i cant get an iphone omg i wanna kill myself” its so tiring. I just sit here comforting these fuckers and then when im sad they all tease me. why do i even call them friends. Im just sitting here alone and depressed because thats all i can do. I just wanna kill myself…why do they do this to me
i dont think im going to make it to night its hot frustrating sickly all my problemes are back and i feel the what of school leve as i leve the hell hole but replaced by well smart arss youv got out of schol what now iv got my dad who whans me to work my mum who whants me to go uney iv got peopleon my cace i cut a bit tonight deep not going to killme but its a midelfinger to life and mum and dad fuck them i think as my teen age side of me takes over but then 35 year old […]
I’ve had this thought and no matter how much I ignored it this week I couldn’t shake it. Not to long ago in late March I apologized to a group friends I used to hang out with frequently for cutting them off b/c of depression though at the time they didn’t know and I explained that to them in my apology anyway besides my point my friends seem to being doing very well but one’s success in particular made  me upset I guess because we used to close and to see her doing well made me feel like such a loser because I feel like […]
I am here in my apt surrounded by my friends and girlfriend, you think I would be happy as well as I; but I am not I want to die I feel sad and depressed all I want is to end it all and have no one realize and worry. I am not meant for living and happiness.
Traits and Characteristics of the Indigo Child
-Highly sensitive, impulsive and intuitive
-High sense of truth and integrity
-Sensitive to toxins (food, water, cleaning supplies, relationships)
-Link to ADD/ADHD
-Strong willed
-Born in 1978 or later
-Head strong
-Creative with an artistic flair for music, jewelry making, poetry, writing, art, etc.
-Prone to addictions
-An old soul, as if they are 15 going on 43
-Intuitive or psychic possible with the history of seeing angels or deceased people
-Isolationist either through aggressive acting out or through fragile introversion
-Independent and proud, even if constantly asking you for money
-Possess a deep […]
Well, went camping like I said I would, with the intent of hanging myself from a tree. Wound up with nosy neighbours who nearly caught me setting up the rope. So, came home to find some privacy.
Tried 3 or 4 times to hang in the bathroom, without success. The rope was too thick. Switched to a thinner cord, and lo and behold – success! Until I woke up lying next to the toilet. First wondering why I was lying next to the toilet – thought I’d given up trying and was just catching my breath. Then becoming conscious enough to realize my legs were kicking […]
I don’t want this.
I hate this situation.
I’m lonely and desperate.
I hate myself.
I hate him.
I hate all the people wo kid me.
I don’t want this anymore.
No one there to hold me.
My fault.
Shouldn’t let him go.
But it’s not better with him.
It’s the biggest mistake to burn the letters of somebody’s name on your skin. Why I did it again? All those words. They’re more than just scars. I know it’s a mistake
When I see him it pulls me to him. But at the same moment I want to run away. Mostly I run. Too much pain.
I’m so afraid.
we havet to say good bye to frends
who left this world and you
to live in the way thay whant
not comeing home in ters
no more runing with sheres
lighting no more fires
saying good bye to frends
all thay left was a note
all i will leve is a memorey
if i deside to go
nothing solid or still
but a moving brething almost sething gost
cos thats all i was a flower on the wall
a joke for the passers bye
just one more god dam gost
see throw and glowing
face tend […]
Ce, I don’t know if you will read this. I am sorry. I thought you were my friend. We only met a few months ago, here, and we helped each other so much. How can we let that get ruined over nothing? It seems a waste. And now I don’t have a friend, again. I wish I could find a real one. But it seems hard when you hate yourself, how can you expect anyone else not to hate you. Sorry I fucked it up. I am so sorry.
“Forgive grievances, never forget kindness”
I won’t ever forget you, my nymph.
Fare thee well.
Love always, Mark.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LsmCP3OH-g&list=PL477888209A803A68
so today was my last day at school and if you havent exspreanst it its shoutd be the best thing in the world but i got rejetid i was beten up i feel like shit and im thinking bout the gun i fownd so yer this is fun all i got to look fword is tax’s and shit dity alone and probly by my own hands
It’s happening again. The elevator is going down again. The weather outside is gloomy again. I woke up this morning and wished I hadn’t… again.
I was feeling a little better the last couple of days. Now, well, back to crying a bunch and just wanting to sleep all the time. Wanting to die. (Smile) My first thought this morning was a big knife stabbing me in my chest. The depressed mind has, well, a mind of its own.
So, I think… maybe if I can get back to sleep, back to the quite, when I awake again later I will feel better. Maybe the sun will […]
I will spare you my sob story. Here’s what you need to know. I am 23, married and a stay at home mom to a 4 year old little girl. I have been depressed since I was a child. I have times where I am okay but I always end up feeling depressed more often than not. I first considered suicide around 13 years old but never really had intentions or means to do so. In my family mental disorders are not considered medical and I would be told to just get over it.
Now, present day I am more depressed than ever. I think […]
“To know even one life breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Makes sense except in my life it seems that those around me will breathe easier because I am dead. When my very existence seems to be that which causes them grief and sorrow. Am I selfish for wanting to live knowing that I should die?
well that whent well….. not
im a bit upset athow nothing like i am normaly just well it dosunt help dos it im not blaming her she sayd it was cos she was confusd about her sexualtey was she beeing nice or did she meen it iv know her for some wile now…. if im honist im in love with her and i whant to tell her im just to emoshanel and to sensiv another crack in my life i know its a petey problem comperd to alot of the stuff out there and comperd to the shit iv been trow this is dick sisd but i thort id […]
ruins is what cutting made other girls into
but that’s not what it does for me.
when i take the blade
run it across my arm
it doesn’t ruin me
not yet anyways.
i know that eventually it will
but not yet.
for now,
the silver blade
and the beautiful pain
and the red
they keep me from being ruins.
they are my anchor to the earth.
they stop me from being ruins
although in the long run it will ruin me
if i don’t stop
if I can’t stop.
for now
although i’m lost in the ruins
i am not a part […]
Tonite… I gave up… I am empty now… It happened right in front of you.. It all went away, and I could see things clearly, without emotion…
Tonite.. I accpted that I am not good enough, and I never will be.. That I never have been, It’s nobody’s fault but mine.. I dont know why.. I have always tried.. I have always failed.. I dont know why, but it doesn’t make sense to blame anyone else.. It can either be a fault in me that everyone else sees, or everyone but me is at fault.. whether I see it, know what it is, or accept it, […]
I am trying to predict the aftermath of my own suicide for example Will the emotional damage to friends and family be worse than the unintentional damage i will surely inflict on them with my continued existence?  i just want to leave everything without a trace but i know this impossible i have been here long enough to make an impact on my environment/ family and friends albeit in a mostly negative way i know most of the people in my life wont understand my reasoning but i refuse to allow my own failures and disappointment  to infect those i love anymore this is truly for the best of those who still have hope for a happy meaningful life. i don’t want to drag anyone […]
Take This Test: 10 Points or more, Catch-the-Bus
5 pts = Do you have a terminal illness whereby you’ll die within a year
2 pts = Just broke up with your lover
2 pts = Serious financial troubles
3 pts = Serious mental illness
2 pts = truly no real way to better you life
1 pts = I’m not attractive, I hate my looks
4 pts = You’re serious disabled, paraplegic, deaf and blind …
3 pts = Addicted to one or more serious drugs, Heroin, Cocaine, Meth
1 pt = Have no friends, everyone hates you