I am living a lie…. My whole life is a lie. I have told my family that I have the first position in school which I had but then I lost it now I am third and could tell them , they still think I am first, I went on an annual olympiad but I failed that too. I am a failure, my family really hates me that’s the only reason I couldn’t tell them I lost my position… And everytime I remember these and everything else I cut.. But nowi realized that I have no more skin to cut….. I am a mess.. I […]
He told me he likes me, asks me out then writes a status saying “like if I have a chance with you” 30 seconds after I say yes to dating him.
I ask him to be in a relationship with me on facebook and he says no…
Then he rings me while he’s at a girls house and she’s putting makeup on him..
I told him I have trust issues and I have bad bipolar and he gets upset when I’m on the phone not being my “natural self”..
Hello Beau, you’re at another girls house right now, you won’t be in a relatonship […]
Just tried, and the razor was too blunt.
Fuck the world, seriously. It’s like the Universe has something against me.
i’m in class right now, thinking about skipping next period. My phone is my only lifelline and they have detectors in our school so I can’t bring my razors. ahhh math classs. SO FUN!
Everyone has regrets, right? Some lies they told, something they did. Well here are all of mine. Please, don’t judge me. Some are past tense, some are present tense. But no matter which tense it is, I’ve never told anyone any of these.
As a child, I never once said please or thank you.
When I was little, I never told anyone anything that happened to me. I never told my mom that my father sexually abused me twice in my life.
I wish I denied the Christmas presents my teachers gave me.(I don’t celebrate Christmas)
I wish I payed more attention to what my parents taught me.
I […]
I just wish she could leave my head just the same way she left me..but no she wont.i can hardly forget any of those fond memories. Is something wrong with me?
Today i felt indifferent, as always.
I didn’t feel anything, until someone on my Facebook posted a picture of people who had cut their arms with blood pouring out making fun of the Justin Bieber thing.
Just seeing those images made me feel like cutting. All day i have been thinking about them and was distracting myself with other things.
But now i just can’t stop thinking about them and imagining myself doing it.
I’m becoming depressed and all my brain is telling me to do is “Cut, you will feel better….”
I probably won’t feel any better but it looks like i’ll cut anyway.
Fuck this.
Just because I’m young, doesn’t mean my feelings are any less valid than someone 10 years older.  I am not attention seeking, I am seeking help and maybe a little comfort.
Just because I have scars on my wrist, doesn’t mean I want everyone to see them.  On the contrary I hide them as best as I can with long sleeves, bracelets and material wrapped round my wrist.
The #cutforbieber hashtag on Twitter last night made me realize who, out of my friends, I need to be cautious around with someone posting  “Self harmers and suicidal dicks annoy me. They are nothing but attention seeks C***s that […]
Look this sounds shit but because I feel so bad because of things I’ve done…. I have been cutting and scratching words into my arm. It’s not deep and it’s not very clear and I try to keep the scars and the words covered up but it kills… so here’s the poem explaining why I do it…
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DON’T JUDGE…. CUTTING HELPS!! – By MissCMF
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At the moment I don’t feel like I want to talk to any living soul
I feel like I’m slowly falling, down a bottomless hole
So I guess it’s better to leave me alone
As if I had my […]
My parents divorced when I was around 3. Im 13 now rly shy towards anybody but my family. Hate school. Parents always taking their anger out on me. It just suks
Ive come to the point in my life where death is more desired than life. Society has pushed me to my limits. Im sick of being forced to put on a face in “public” just to try and impress a damn fastfood joint. Stressing over bills at my young age because my parents were unfortunateand gave up thier future not thinking of their children would later suffer for it. Who is opting out still so hard for me? What better than not having to put up with this cold world and selfish people?
I don’t know how much longer I can do this. My first attempt was 2 years ago. Everything is so overwhelming and I want to try again right now, but what if I survive? I don’t want my therapist to leave and I probably wouldn’t see my cat for a while. Not to mention my parents would be distraught. What’s the point anymore? I have no one in my life to talk to (except my therapist) and I have no motivation to even try to get better. Someone help me :(.
hmm.. Can someone talk t me
I was born January 24th 1992 to two loving parents. When I was 3 years old my mother decided she wanted to become sober, I assume from seeing how much my father drank and from how often he supposedly was never home. She started going to AA and did become sober, when my father was asked to do the same he wouldn’t do it. A year goes by of my father not being home and always being at the bar, needless to say she filed for divorce. My parents got divorced when I was 4 years old, “Oh your parents got divorced? My parents were […]
I want to die.
Tonight seems like a good time.
if not outragiously hard and agonizingly sadistic, life is utterly boring and you know it.
im not ginna lie i think about suicide.everysecond of the day. until recently ive never fantisized about killibg everyone i hate on earth.  no i dont hate anyone. in actuality i understand them.i always have. i just hate how no one understands me. i feel somewhat special how i am certain i am the only one who feels this particlular way in life. although i wish my kind easnt so godamn rare ! i hobeslty dont feel there is anything wrong with me. just the entire world is(im convinced) in a conspiracy against.me. i literally suck at almost everything if god is real he is […]
I’m back in school since the winter break. I have a few things on my mind, including the finals in 2 weeks.
My to-do list includes:
Apply for jobs (already applied at McDonald’s and the Habit, also need an auto shop for an internship for my auto class)
I need to find a recruiter for the military
Start a workout regimen that doesn’t mess up a schhedule i guess i have to compile since i will have to balance 8 hours of an internship and a normal part time job.
need to either find weed or get the psychologist to analyze me for my possible moderate depression and most likely […]
Im going crazy. I can feel it. I know it. I wanna cut all the time and there’s no explanation for the dreams I’ve been having. It’s 12:22am and I am terrified to go to sleep. I don’t want to dream. I have  the visual playing over in my head when I should be doing something important. What’s happening to me?
I think part of me will always be waiting for you. no matter how hard I try and forget you. I fail at all costs it hilarious because every time I start to get over you. for some reason out of the blue you come back around and make me fall for you all over again. I haven’t seen you for a while but I miss you more than you know. I miss seeing you everyday because every time I saw you I got this feeling that was unexplainable, a feeling like no other. I cant do it anymore because I don’t want to […]
Still missing her.