My parents divorced when I was around 3. Im 13 now rly shy towards anybody but my family. Hate school. Parents always taking their anger out on me. It just suks
Ive come to the point in my life where death is more desired than life. Society has pushed me to my limits. Im sick of being forced to put on a face in “public” just to try and impress a damn fastfood joint. Stressing over bills at my young age because my parents were unfortunateand gave up thier future not thinking of their children would later suffer for it. Who is opting out still so hard for me? What better than not having to put up with this cold world and selfish people?
I don’t know how much longer I can do this. My first attempt was 2 years ago. Everything is so overwhelming and I want to try again right now, but what if I survive? I don’t want my therapist to leave and I probably wouldn’t see my cat for a while. Not to mention my parents would be distraught. What’s the point anymore? I have no one in my life to talk to (except my therapist) and I have no motivation to even try to get better. Someone help me :(.
hmm.. Can someone talk t me
I was born January 24th 1992 to two loving parents. When I was 3 years old my mother decided she wanted to become sober, I assume from seeing how much my father drank and from how often he supposedly was never home. She started going to AA and did become sober, when my father was asked to do the same he wouldn’t do it. A year goes by of my father not being home and always being at the bar, needless to say she filed for divorce. My parents got divorced when I was 4 years old, “Oh your parents got divorced? My parents were […]
I want to die.
Tonight seems like a good time.
if not outragiously hard and agonizingly sadistic, life is utterly boring and you know it.
im not ginna lie i think about suicide.everysecond of the day. until recently ive never fantisized about killibg everyone i hate on earth. Â no i dont hate anyone. in actuality i understand them.i always have. i just hate how no one understands me. i feel somewhat special how i am certain i am the only one who feels this particlular way in life. although i wish my kind easnt so godamn rare ! i hobeslty dont feel there is anything wrong with me. just the entire world is(im convinced) in a conspiracy against.me. i literally suck at almost everything if god is real he is […]
I’m back in school since the winter break. I have a few things on my mind, including the finals in 2 weeks.
My to-do list includes:
Apply for jobs (already applied at McDonald’s and the Habit, also need an auto shop for an internship for my auto class)
I need to find a recruiter for the military
Start a workout regimen that doesn’t mess up a schhedule i guess i have to compile since i will have to balance 8 hours of an internship and a normal part time job.
need to either find weed or get the psychologist to analyze me for my possible moderate depression and most likely […]
Im going crazy. I can feel it. I know it. I wanna cut all the time and there’s no explanation for the dreams I’ve been having. It’s 12:22am and I am terrified to go to sleep. I don’t want to dream. I have  the visual playing over in my head when I should be doing something important. What’s happening to me?
I think part of me will always be waiting for you. no matter how hard I try and forget you. I fail at all costs it hilarious because every time I start to get over you. for some reason out of the blue you come back around and make me fall for you all over again. I haven’t seen you for a while but I miss you more than you know. I miss seeing you everyday because every time I saw you I got this feeling that was unexplainable, a feeling like no other. I cant do it anymore because I don’t want to […]
Still missing her.
Often think allot about ending it all but,im 36 y.o. and i think about all ive been through and ive made it this far (its a miracle) why not hang around for a bit longer.
Get out.
its an illusion. we will never have it.
I’m really pathetic when you think about it. As far as misfortune goes, in circumstance, environment, opportunity, I probably have the closest thing to a perfect life anyone can think of. Certainly I’m better off than all my friends. I have two married parents who are loving and intelligent, we are a middle class family-we make enough to be comfortable, I’ve never had anyone close to me die-not even my dog. I have plenty of friends. I’ve never been abused, neglected, never gone hungry, without clothing or heat. I am in the top .02% of my class in school. I got a job at a […]
I’m so finished. I hate everything here. I hate living. I hate the people. I know this shit is supposed to get better, and it’s hormones or whatever but I can’t do it. I’m trying to so hard, but I can’t. I’m in a battle and I’m losing. Everything hurts and I don’t know why. I don’t even know where to begin to fix it. Nothing’s changing. The person that I talked to about this is so fed up with me. I can’t. I cannot talk to anyone. No one wants to hear it. I hurt people and I need to stop. I know there […]
Gay. Freak. Weirdo. Im afraid to go out in public now, because i can see and hear everyone laughing at me, calling me names. Im used to this, but before i had friends. I have no friends now. My friends dont think about me anymore since i moved schools, they have new, better, cooler friends to hang out with now. But i have no friends at my new school either. Starting from my first day there, they started judging me. They decided that apparently i was ‘gay’. I have no idea where they got this from, but people just in public seem to think the […]
Worried that if I tell him how I really feel he’ll commit me again. Not that he’s ever committed me before, but he came really close once. I spent a couple weeks in a hospital end of last year. I think some people at work figured it out, but only my manager seriously questioned me. I don’t trust her, so I only told HR what I needed to and nothing more. Definitely not the attempt.
So, for work’s sake at the very least, I want to stay out, even though I think I hate my job. Although, I’m not entirely sure it’s my job I hate. […]
I guess I’m just your entertainment
Cuz my posts tend to rhyme
So for today’s show, I’ll dive to the pavement
And blow my brains out at the same time
‘Wow Nick, nice poem’
Is that all you’ve got to say?
No ‘Go out there and show ’em’
Just ‘I could read this all day’
Well golly sir, thank you!
Your compliment just changed my mind
I was gonna hang myself, but thanks to you
IÂ think I’ll be just fine
‘Well you don’t have to be a jerk
We were just being nice’
Sorry, but it didn’t work
And can I give you some advice?
Just because somebody is expressive
In a […]
This sucks. You love someone so much and they just hurt you, and you forgive them, and they do it again, so you forgive them and it happens again! Why do I have to be such a hopeless romantic. I wish I was one of those strong woman who don’t believe in love. Who can be on there own. But I am so damn needy. I can’t even sleep alone. I’m pathetic.