i have always been happy and cheerful. and fun to be around. but, lately i find myself questioning what my purpose is. and if it’s truly worth living out. i do want to kill myself but i’m honestly scared on what i might be missing out on.

Really bad weekend.

Cut up my leg, my wrist again and a few on my side. My best friend says she doesn’t care, but then says that i need to stop and that my boyfriend is a juvenile delinquent and that i have bad taste and that im gonna end up doing drugs and who knows what else. I only want piercings and to dye my hair. Drugs and Drinking sounds awesome to help me escape, but im under lockdown and cant away from my horrible family. They are so immature. I didnt  have an exact reason why i decided to mutilate myself again, just that […]

Out——–

I think i am able to accept your choice to leave me. whether it be now, or months from now. I accept it..

When no one believes you, when people tell you that you’re a liar, when everyone starts to tell you that your boyfriend can do better or you’re using him all because I wanted to spend a night with my friends and people are so quick to jump to conclusions because their guys, when almost everyone around me tells me to kill myself, or that I don’t deserve to be happy, that I won’t get somewhere in li

fe or that I won’t succeed in anything I do, when rumors are made and even the closest people around you believe them, when people stick knives in your […]

The following sucks really bad.. I’m sorry. I just wish this were my last day on earth.

My true story

You sing country in the shower.

I got high to Nirvana.

You found salvation, and praised the lord.

I’d got drunk and partied when bored.

You’d run on your track or swim on your back.

I made all the wrong stops, always ran from the cops.

You’re heart and brains will take you so far.

For myself, all I’ve got is my guitar.

You were honest, loving and pure.

I was a shithead, afraid and insecure.

Now I must let you go, I must set you free.

For I know that in my heart. You’ll always deserve much […]

I’ve had my battles with weight but I’ve never thought of it as an eating disorder. I just wanted to be a certain weight that defined me as skinny enough. I didn’t exactly diet the right watly though. Instead of working out.. I. Decided to skip meals for about three months.. I ate. Just not as much. Instead of losing five pounds I. Lost thirteen.. but I’m not like that anymore .. But I find a weird,dark comfort in starvation … It makes me feel calm…

I started cutting about a year ago, it  started with stabbing myself all over with a needle. I then scratched all down my body, but in the last 6 months it got worse and i started to cut every night, it wasn’t just one shallow cut, it was deep and as i did it in the bath it spread everywhere and wouldn’t stop. I think once  i cut more than 10 times, and i know it doesn’t seem allot when you think about it, but to me it did, and it just wouldn’t stop bleeding. I slept in a hoodie, and wore a hoodie all […]

Taking a Mental Health Day from dance.. Had alot of emotions going crazy all day.. Can’t even tell you what was going on in my head. Everyone thinks it’s because I am nausease and threw up. The nausea is real… Havnt actually thrown up yet..

So I will be on alot tonight, which I’m actually looking forward to.

I am very certain that I am going to fail almost every class that I have signed up for this semester. Fail with a capital ‘F.’ I think this is largely due to a combination of my disgust for my major, naturally poor work ethic, and my frequent abuse of marijuana. I have come to realize, however, that the only thing to blame is myself. There is no other excuse. I have thrown my life away, and even as I type this, I can feel an overwhelming sense of failure and despair creeping up in my stomach. There is no coming back from this, and […]

i can’t get the fact that I’m bisexual and it hurts because my parents are against it. So I’ve been wanting to tell them but I’m scared. Once I tried telling them but they just got mad so I finding want to make things worst so I just shut up and let it go. I dating someone to and I just can’t hide her from everyone else. I want the world to know that i love her. But I don’t want people to judge me either. I’m just worthless

To out side people my life may seem like its taking off and that I have only good things to look forward to. However the truth is that my life is hopeless. My gf is selfish and although I love her I do not like her. I’ve been out of work for 6 months because nobody that I’ve applied for work with has even given me an interview. On top off all that I learnt today that the only thing im passionate about may be taken away from me. All I want in life is to help others, its how i justify my existence and […]

I want to know what do you do when your being bullied.

First Step:

Tell someone. Right or wrong? Thats the advice anyone would give you. Porblem shared is a problem halfed all that yeah?

So… Who do you tell?:

Your parents.

There we go!! Step one and I can’t even get that far. Coz nobody….NOBODY…..in these bullying preventions courses, bullying what to do if you’re a victim, even bullying week, noody EVER tells you what to do, when your family, is the one bullying you. Well more precise, when one of your parents, bullys you, and your family, and the rest of your family has decided that its easier […]

My girlfriend and I are breaking up. I went through break ups before I met her. I had friends then. I do not have any friends at this point; I am alone without her. I spent more than two years completely alone due to severe psychological disorders. I have felt what it means to be without anyone, and at this point, I can not handle being alone again. The relationship has not been perfect, but it gave me a life. I was involved with something. I had someone on my side.

Over the past few days the situation has been setting in. I am slowly reverting back […]

I lost my father 10 years ago at age 8 to a rare childhood bone cancer called Ewing’s Sarcoma… I’m now 18, in a good college, in honors and severely depressed. I’m overwhelmed and would kill to see him. I’ve started cutting, missed classes and feel so disconnected from everyone. Half the time I can’t feel and the other half I’m so overwhelmed with emotion I slide into panic attacks.

My counselor just says its normal college stuff but I can’t really open up to her, I barely open up to anyone. The worst part is the guilt that I feel this way. I know I […]

I’m so glad I can help you guys. The saddest part of my day is logging off to go to bed or school or something else pops up. I want to help each and every one of you!
But there was a reason I was looking for a suicide forum, instead of a site where people are just depressed. It’s because I’m not depressed; I actually see life in pretty vivid and bright colours. But I AM suicidal. And I sometimes need reassurance and sometimes it just helps me to help others.
I’m sorry if I’m sleeping and can’t help. I feel bad every time […]

Its said that real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.

Every one has a breaking point … I feel I have reached to a upper limit of my exhausted strength …. For past 3-4 years I have tried to fight what I felt was wrong and I fought with all honestly and in fair ways .. I made mistakes but then I am no super human . But I know that my intentions were good and pure … and I did made lot of sacrifices….May be its just that my ambitions exceeded […]

And I fail, over and over again.

I have been straring blunting at this knife for over an hour,

Crazy how, bam I could be dead it all gone, within a second. I can just do it, bleed to death.

I dont think I can do this anymore.