I am the world to my parents. Everything they do, they claim to do it for me. Maybe it’s an Asian thing. Maybe it’s just a devoted parents thing. I don’t know. I’ve been wanting them to come to terms with the fact that I want to kill myself since I first decided to tell them in April. I hoped that with enough communication, they would understand the amount of suffering I’ve been enduring. Of course, no, they think I need a change of scenery, a change in lifestyle, pretty much a change in everything. Think that that would solve my problems. No. They even […]

There are times when I feel like a normal person. I’m happy at work, home and out with my friends. I feel like I’m an attractive young 25 year old girl (as long as I stay away from the mirror). And I’m truly happy. Proud of myself for overcoming my depression and thoughts of fading away. I’m high above despair and I feel normal. Not like a superhero, just a normal functioning person.

And then I’m reminded of how little I matter. How wrong I am. How much of a disappointment I am. How inadequate I am. I begin to hear the silence again. And the […]

I feel like something is wrapped around me suffocating me but I can still breath. I can barely walk talk Hear see I can barely move at all. It takes everything I have to put a smile on my face and move and walk around at school but that takes alot of energy and I can’t keep that up for more than 30 min. at a time. I am not hungry. So I’m not eating. And yet I am still a fat b****. What I described above is what I feel: numb. I feel numb I feel broken I feel like there isn’t much […]

I am new to all of this. basically my sister has really bad depression and she has been dragging me down with her. i know that she cuts and some nights i hear her quietly crying and it is killing.

i blame my dad because he has been no help in my life he keeps f***ing about telling us that he loves us and then the next day telling us that he no longer wants to see us.

i have had to grow up quickly but lately i have been feeling s***. I have recently started to think about cutting. My mum suffered depression over my dad […]

I feel very lost and I don’t know what to do (I’m a guy). I’m currently attending my local college and am in a two year program with 4 semesters in total. I’m currently in semester number 5 and I’m failing miserably. I CAN NOT tell my parents. My father might understand if I really talk to him, man-to-man, but there is very little chance of that and my mother simply won’t accept failure from me again. I previously attended university for biological sciences and I failed out of that. I finally built up the courage to tell my parents that sciences weren’t my thing […]

I have to wait till Wednesday afternoon to see my therapist. I think I will have lost my mind by then.

When lifetime slowly shed into eternity ..
When lifetime slowly shed into eternity ..
And the Moon will shine .. also when we no longer here ..
over our graves spilled with blood ..

Colors dance in the misty freezing shades,
when eternity awayts .. me ..
The eternity that I look towards .. endless
sorrow in my heart , but my soul died ..
.. died in the past ..

Mighty winds of last Octobers night bring
me through the snowy forest where may I
hear my soul whisper words from the agony
of my existence now forfeited by self hatred ..

Moon appeared behind the deadly […]

I’m 14. My bipolar is serious. I can’t take life anymore.

The main problem is my mum. I’m not allowed a boyfriend, not allowed out of my house on weekends and school breaks. The first thing I do wrong she takes all my possessions. I have a boyfriend, well not for much longer, it’s his birthday, and if I’m not with him tomorrow, ital be the end of us. I HATE being at home, i’ve walked out once and was slapped and was told to stop being such a stupid emotional ***** by my own mother. My dad, he just don’t get involved. I’m not allowed to sleep round […]

I just ended a year and a half long relationship a couple months ago, and i have met someone new. hes really sweet, has some depression problems like i do.. i like. It’s more of that butterfly feeling in my stomache? we ended up fooling around a little more than i had honestly planned, which made me curious.. does this mean something serious? in a way yes i want it to lead to a relationship, but thats because i am a monogamis type of person. but i mostly just want this to be an open thing, nothing official, but that were “talking” i guess? he […]

I am David Lee Rea’s mother.  Please go to www.reaoflight.org to read David’s story.  I am more and more convinced that Aspergers can be lethal for anyone, if no effective help, understanding, intervention, etc.  is obtained.  Please get help!!!!

If I get to die, it won’t be of bipolar illness or depression. It will be of loneliness and regret. I blame myself for my own misery. I hate being my loving, loyal, devoted self . For all of you out there… Please don’t make that same mistake. Don’t give “your all”, you’ll wind up with nothing and broken hearted. People love those who they can’t have. Those who think of themselves first and always manage to remain a mystery and a challenge. Those who are slippery and are feared to be lost. I am telling you this because I never learned to be that […]

i don’t care what people analyses on my dismissal. How it matters to me if i am not on earth.
I decided to quit because I hate most of people around me. Especially normal lives. they live because they has to live. I hate them because they going to waste their 100 years by simply finding happiness on small things. I am not going to do that. i know i never going to make great life on earth, so instead of wasting it, just stop it. that’s what i going to do.

i hate my parents, friends, other people i know. all are losers, they simply […]

Behind bolted doors I can’t help but sink to the floor and let the hurt in my heart slip down my cheeks in a silent protest. People say I don’t care about anything, that I feel no remorse for anything, that I am cold, bitter and replaceable. I only stare into the distance letting my thoughts wander, knowing if I listen my resolve will shatter. I am through helping those that seem to need it, I am through trying to give people reasons to smile, I am through trying to love and be loved. My heart can only take so much before I have to hide […]

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I have a pretty good life. Other than no friends and the drama I think my life is okay. As I posted before I had a “best friend” overdose on pills because of a fight we got into and the love of my life, at least my teenage love, fucked me over for my “best friend” I have been really depressed, I guess it’s always kind of been there the stuff going on is just what triggered it to start back up again, I was depressed in middle school. I have a 5 year old sister and brother […]

My best friends father died a few days ago. She was the only one I ever confided in. Now shes out of commission for a little while, which is understandable. I’ve been running around helping with anything and everything I can do but it’s hard to keep going sometimes.

My other “best friend” hasn’t made an effort to talk to me in days. I’m done with it. He knows my best friends dad died. He can’t even make a ten minute phone call to see if I’m okay? It just isn’t okay.

The days make me numb and not from the cold air. just from all the […]

Since morning I haven’t left my room.
I just lay in my bed and try to get up do something productive.
I have three tests on Sunday, and I want to start it…
I even opened the book now, but I just burst into tears.
I don’t know why, I want to study, but my mind just can’t handle it or something.
Everything feels so dull, it’s like I’m looking at something then my thrust just seize up and Im overcome with such a chocking feeling of hopelessness…
I just feel so stressed with life and exams are not even started, what am I going […]

Ive come to the stunning conclusion that no one would miss me if i actually did it. I dont even think i would miss myself. I drink because i hate myself and i hate myself because i drink. Im just a kid, i dont know why im depressed and unhappy i just am. Im always waiting for that thing that makes me feel complete and happy. no one but like 2 teachers and 3 kids know my name, shit they left me out of the yearbook last year. My parents dont care, dads to drunk to notice and mom is to high to even walk. […]

Hi all, Id like to share my story and need advice before i decide to draw the final curtain ill tell you my story first.

Me and my girlfriend had been together for nearly 2 years she was the best thing ever to happen to me other than my 6 yr old son, recently we broke up i had kissed another girl and been txting her my girlfriend found out and dumped me.  I have a problem with self esteem due to things that happened in my past.  She says she wants to be friends and has promised she doesnt want anyone else and would not […]

Everytime I think about it my heart races, I feel sick, I want to die.

It feels like my heart is going to explode, I slightly shake. I don’t even want to think about it.

I thought I found the perfect guy. He seemed like everything you ever wanted, he was, but he was too different from me. I am pretty poor, and I don’t have many achievements in my life. He has it all, he has even admitted to never experiencing anything bad in life. He’s got some money, college, a good job. His family didn’t truly give a care about me because I had nothing. They never […]

The thing that I hate the most is how much emotional pain I know that I am in. I’m always in it, but sometimes when bad things happen I get into a real state and I just wish I would die that instant. But now its been several hours later and I feel the doubt that’s completely creeped in.

I know that I don’t have anything to live for. I know that I will never be happy, but just like everything else in my life I think my fears might end up fucking me over in the end. What I fear is what happens when I […]