Hi, im new here, i dont know exactly what to do, but ill tell my story. Im 16 years old and currently been in america for 7 years. For 9 years i lived in spain with my biological father.He was an alcoholic, went out every night and got drunk. He abused me, my mum and my brother every night when he came home.  When i was about 6, both of my parents were at work, and my nanny was asleep. My brother sexually abused me. I thought it was a game,and he made me promise not to tell anyone. I kept it. and i forgave […]

I’ve never been on any type of website like this.. i just kind of needed some people to talk to that actually can relate and understand how i feel. I thought I was moving forward.. i really did… I tried to commit suicide about 2months ago and it honestly scared the hell out of me.. After that night of almost having my stomach pumped i knew i had to get better…. but now.. I am starting to feel the same as before I committed suicide.. i have the urge to cut the hell out of my wrists and I’m always holding back tears.. i feel […]

It’s sad when the people who are suppose to love you are the ones that hurt you the most. I try and confide my feelings to them and I’m left feeling worse than I originally did. Thanks Mom for ignoring who I am and pretending my problem doesn’t exist. Thanks Dad for dismissing my feelings and treating me as your verbal punching bag. Thanks sister for being a constant reminder of what I missed out on.

so last night i had a terrible night my anxiety kicked in and i could do nothing but cry. my bf was being a bit of an ass and my mother had nothing better else to do but yell at me. its been 3 days since i last ate and i can already feel myself wasting away. i looked in the mirror last night hoping to see a better me then what i was. i saw the same old self. i just cried. feeling so fat and ugly i tried to throw up anything that was left in my system. it was 3 in the […]

I tried to speak out today, but you how things never really go as planned. They didn’t understand what I was trying to say and just brushed it off. I felt so small and so sick to my stomach. I went home and I did it again even though I was trying not to anymore. I hurt myself again. I hadn’t done it in awhile so I had forgotten how it felt, but I couldn’t stop myself. My hand is trembling as I write this and I’m just trying to hold myself together as much as I can. But I can’t anymore, I’m just so tired of […]

It seems like everyday I try to escape these thoughts of leaving this world. It seems like a hellish struggle to even make it through the day. I just want to be happy but thats now a forgotten cause. The real problem is here now and I can’t seem to shake it out. I can’t sleep because if the reoccurrence of these thoughts. If my mind doesn’t get a break I might have to give it a permanent one. I’m left wondering if these little pink pills are worth it. I’m left wondering all the time. Left trapped in my own thoughts. In my own […]

Hello Suicide Project and all its users!

I am here today to confirm my plans. (My typing always seems bright and happy but think of the psychotic clown who decapitates victims with a huge grin and heaps of laughter)

So, nearer to the end of the year I am going to utilize the exit bag method. From the research i have done, I found out it is the most painless and peaceful way to go. Which is awesome. But I need more ideas(suicide creativity) to seal the deal. I’m not asking you guys for ideas. Thats against the sites rules and what-not.

Anyways here is my plan:

They all think that my mental break downs are for attention.  Well I’m sorry all I want to do is disappear into the back round, be invisible to everyone. They think that I cut for attention, they think I’m sad and depressed for attention and for people to feel sorry for me. I don’t want people to think that my suicide was for attention. I don’t want people to even remember me. I don’t want to be remembered.

Blackhole depression.  Don’t know where or why it keeps coming. I’ve given myself freedom and control by deciding to to take my self out.  I will be doing away with myself in a matter of weeks. yesterday cleared another hurdle to doing so.  so depressed i cant even type.

I don’t know why I let myself fail to the point that I do. I know I can put more effort into bettering my life but every time I try putting forth any effort I am only met by failure and worthlessness. I am unable to even comply with basic day to day situations sometimes and I need to trudge through it knowing that it is only me myself who is keeping me back. I’m being pushed through a hole of the wrong shape to fit in with everything so extremely fake around me, yet had this been a different world my inferiority would have […]

I’m young. 14.
FUCK?! A 14 year old wanting to die already?! Damn…
Well… Lets see if you still think that after this; …
I was 3. My dad had walked out on my mum. She had me, and two other kids, Older than me. Both different dads to me. Mum had to work 12 hours a day, So my older brother and sister would go to their own aunties/uncles house while she worked, And I would go to mine. My mum chose the wrong uncle. Alan. Even the name… Ugh! Anyway… I’d be there with my cousin, Jay. Who was my other uncles son, […]

5 Years ago today is when I tried to ctb. I was 16.
The events around it that triggered it, I admit, were bullshit but my reasoning behind it was not.
I got home from school. the bullshit that happened was that I thought I lost a friend, someone I loved, due to some stupid shit that happened that I thought was my fault. I blamed myself for everything back then. That’s what triggered it. My reason behind wanting to die is that I saw myself as a worthless person who could never do anything right and would never amount to anything in life. I […]

Maybe it’s the way I look or the fact that I have a stutter that turns people off. Combined with having low self-esteem and poor social skills, who’d really want to talk to me, let alone be my friend? Every experience throughout my life has been nothing but miserable, and whenever I reminisce, I’m reminded of how much of a loser I was and still am. What’s even worse is watching my younger sister experience everything I missed out on.

High school was a complete nightmare trying to cope with my stutter, and bullying, along with having friends who did nothing but laugh at my disability, […]

A couple of days ago I heard about Amanda Todd. It reminded me when I used to consider suicide because of being constantly bullied. Bullied by my “friends”, bullied my my classmates, by my ex-boyfriend (who blackmailed me for 2 years, saying he would tell everyone in my family what I was, what I had done and said). Then I remembered when the bully got physical. Been called names, been thrown things, been punched. No one cared back then. They would see me crying, but ‘oh, it’s ok, he’s just a teenager’. Anyway, somehow I made it through middle and high school.

Today I’m in college. […]

My life isn’t as bad as others.
On paper it’s perfect.
I haven’t enjoyed living life for about 12 years that I can actually remember.

But i’ve never looked into any sort of site like this before.
im usually just hating life and being too afraid to end it.
I just hate the not knowing what happens after.

and i have kids.
and im alone with them 90% of the time.
their father works 7 days a week.

they’re young. and they need to be taken care of.
but i hate every fucking day of my life.
they’re the only things keeping me alive at all.
id […]

Hole in my Soul,
Hole in my Heart,
Hole in my Mind,
Hole in my Head

Jeśli decydujemy się na skradzionych rzeczy radca prawny Katowice radzi, aby taką sprawę skierować na drogę sądową. Takimi sprawami jak skradzionych rzeczy radca prawny Katowice uważa
powinien zajmować się sąd an osobie poszkodowanej przydzielony powinien być dobry prawnik, by po zakończeniu sprawy wynagrodzone mu zostały wszystkie krzywdy. Skradzionych rzeczy radca prawny Katowice może spowodować, iż takie sprawy zostaną pomyślnie załatwione jeśli skorzysta się z porady dobrego prawnika jak również powierzy mu się swoje sprawy, w takiej sytuacji możemy liczyć na sukces. Od paru lat cały czas rośnie zapotrzebowanie na doradztwo prawne Gdańsk już od kilku lat prowadzi sondaże dotyczące tego zjawiska oraz jak […]

I have another problem ….. The girl i love… I have no idea what to thing she´s like pretending a friendship but just a second latter she says like she really likes me … Like one day all students of our school was in cinema and she was going with her best friend something about 20 meters behind me and when we arrived in the cinema she ran to me and wanted to sit down right next to me but in the last second my shoolmate did that and she sad “thats a pity”(in slovak and i dont know a better words to say that […]

My Night

I put the cold barrel in my mouth,
To quiet the screams that may come out.
My hands shake when the time nears,
As my eyes cry silent tears.
I can’t help, but think to say,
Will this really be my last day?
I wanted to test fate with a little game…
Russian roulette, now that is a shame.
I sought out a sign to tell me to stay,
To keep on trying until my golden days.
Three out of five loaded, and ready to go
Two left out, now time for the show.
I pulled the trigger, and let out a small yell.
I was sure, right then, I had been sent straight to hell.
As the minutes passed, I opened my eyes,
Life […]

“God may exist but only if there’s an ‘I’ to perceive it. Without an ‘I’ to perceive it, who will confirm his existence ? the ‘I’ creates God”

“the (physical world/matrix)/illusion is visible while the true self/consciousness is hidden (to the five senses). It doesn’t look like it, but consciousness is concealed by the illusion. Have you ever thought of it this way ?”

“Consciousness is concealed by the world’s manifestation. It is the manifestation/(physical world) that does not allow you to see the God within you”

“Consciousness has to appear in this form so  this form can recognize counsciousness”

“You always mention somebody else. You’re always studying something […]