Hi, im new here, i dont know exactly what to do, but ill tell my story. Im 16 years old and currently been in america for 7 years. For 9 years i lived in spain with my biological father.He was an alcoholic, went out every night and got drunk. He abused me, my mum and my brother every night when he came home.  When i was about 6, both of my parents were at work, and my nanny was asleep. My brother sexually abused me. I thought it was a game,and he made me promise not to tell anyone. I kept it. and i forgave him. Which is horrible.  I started to try commit suicide at age 7 and a half. We lived in an apartment, i tried jumping off the balcony…  Me and mum finally moved to america when i was 9 while my brother moved to a friends house. ever since then i had nightmares about him finding me, and he kills me. Then i forgot about it. Then last year, he sent me emails, hating emails, blaming everything on me and my mum,  and calling me names. The nightmares came back, and i started to cut. Which led to more scars and more constant sweaters. Soon i deleted everything and started fresh. Im 16 and still having nightmares, i cant forget about it. Im always stressed out and sad, my friends dont understand. I keep things to myself now. Every now and then i see me as a little girl with my dad behind her cutting her throat. I was at school one day when i saw her, i broke down infront of my friends..One of my friends showed me this sight, maybe for help, or something where i can get this out of my mind for someone to listen..
3 comments
I am so sorry to hear your story! I am new here too but you’ll find support from people here that have been through similar things. I went through different things as a child and I cant say that I understand, but I do know that what your dad and brother did was not your fault.
I endured verbal and physical abuse from my mom from when I was very little. I was defenseless at that time and for a long time I felt trapped in that feeling of powerless-ness. From your description of your dream and other things you said it sounds like you could feel the same. If so, you will need to, at some time, focus on ways to get that power back.
It would be ideal if you could tell your mom and she could help you,but I know very well that is often not the case. I think talking to others on here can be helpful too. I would definitely be happy to talk to you anytime!
Thank you. I would also be happy to talk to you aswell. Im sorry what your mum did to you, its horrible. I hope life is better for you if not it will xx
My dad was an alcoholic. And I’ve been in 2 types of abusive relationships. I’msorry to hear what you went through, no one deserves that. I started to cut myself because I felt numb. I couldn’t feel anything, life was he’ll and the days just rolled by, I was just waiting for it all to be over. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here, even if you just want to rant, someone to listen to, or help. I hope you get throughyour hell