I call myself Annabeth Reid, that’s the life I wish I lived. I have amazing friends and a amazing family, so much to look forward to in life and the bullying has almost stopped. But it never stops does it? The past always catches up with the present… When I was younger I was bullied a lot a name I heard almost everyday was SLUT, my own friends called me that behind my back. I’m also very skinny, not because I try it’s just the way I am, yet I’m called anorexic. People make jokes saying I throw up after I eat, but I don’t. I’ve […]

You want to die

before knowing the deepness of cry

you want to die

before diving inside the colossal lie

you want to die

before speaking personally with Satan?

you want to die

before drinking wine til decay

or doing sex til bye

you want to die

before cracking some noses

of the people that laugh of you

you want to die

before knowing the deepness of the dark arts?

before summoning spirits and devils?

before doing some craziness that prove the holiness

of your body?

Jesus is just another ************!

But in the dark arts I have found deep truths.

That the reality does not exists.

And that if life is a illusion, the illusion that life is a illusion is another illusion.

Every bad memory is replaying.

Replaying in my mind.

Over and over and over.

Like my mind is set on rewind.

Like my mind is set on repeat.

Why can’t these terrible memories just go away?

These memories are destroying me.

They are breaking me down.

They are making me weak.

Making me hurt.

Making my whole body ache.

I want to push the eject button.

I want it all to disappear.

is there anyone on here feeling hopeless that possibly lives on vancouver island bc ? because i would like to speak with you in person. if not im still here add my facebook to talk, i can feel your pain ive suffered in my past life as well. add me!   jaime michieli

I hd sm1, who tuk care of me. Fr that little time, I ws happy.
But she’s gone, leaving me all alone.
Nd all I am right nw, is scared.
Scared to hell. I miss her. I love her, more than anything in the world, cz only she evr cared to undrstand me. And she knws, she knws hw much i love her, crave fr her touch. Bt its nt gonna happen. M scared, all i want is for her to hold me, cz i m all too broken without her.
I dnt hv ny frnds in real sense to evn talk to about my […]

Not many people know what it’s like to lose their hair.

As you age, you lose hair.  When you get a haircut, you lose hair.  I’m talking about a different kind.

It depresses me every time I move my head, wake up, shower…  there are clumps of hair…  everywhere.  Falling out.  My hair is dying to help keep me living.  My hair could be dying, while I too, began to die.

If you put it into actuality, I’ve been dying for almost 3 years now, only now has it began to really come through.

I am dying, and I have accepted my fate.  I have not accepted the fate […]

I have to go back to work today after two weeks off’ and I’m so terrified to go. Everybody is going to look at me with those questioning eyes, smile their fake smiles, talk their small talk, ask how I’m feeling…

What do you say to them?

Thanks for asking!

“I’ve been off for two weeks because I can’t handle life. And when I get to this point I like to hurt myself, so I needed this time to recuperate from the demon emotions that overtake who I may or may not be, oh and I binged this weekend like a fat kid in a candy store only […]

i cant take this anymore. if i open up to pmy parents, ill hurt them. if i open up to 99% of my friends, theyll make me feel stupid and yell at me for feeling like this. they dont understand that they make it worse by doing that. i cant take this anymore. i want all of this to end.

my throat hurts from trying to choke myself over the weekend. it hurts to yawn. ijust .. dont see a point anymore. i want ot die. please let me out of this hell.

Them dreams..

You have, where you feel like your falling.

I feel like I’m falling.

Even when I’m awake.

I’m falling down, crashing down.

Around everything.

Everyone is staring at me while I’m falling.

I can’t get back up.

I’ve fallen.

I’m 28 years old and my life is a complete waste. I am the youngest of six children, there’s a seven year gap between me and the rest, the eldest of my siblings being sixteen years older than I am. (just giving you the background here).

Life in my family was never easy, we were considered free labor, we cleaned the house, cooked the meals, did the laundry, kept the yard did the shopping and washed my dad’s collection of cars. These chores started as young as five years of age, we’d walk two miles to the nearest supermarket, and then carry the groceries home, this […]

Damn. I thought I was getting back to recovery but after today I really want to kill myself. My mum says she doesn’t want me as a daughter, although to be quite honest I am used to that, she says it everyday. And then my fucking sister decides to join in and tell me how much of a messed up fucking brat I am. Well I’m sorry. I’m selfish, mean, harsh, not pretty at all and a fucking mess up accident. Why does this happen… Then she started talking about my friends and how one of my friends is the reason I’m messed up. They […]

it feels as though im in a thick blanket of cold and darkness all alone with no one to help me. i have many people there for me, my friends, my boyfriend, even my sister, but it seems like their help is no use to me. i try to accept it, i try to explain to them how i am feeling but they fail to understand me. they dont get me and how i am and i feel. its as if me telling them everything is useless. i dont like telling them everything but they want to know and all i want is for them […]

The wonder of the world is gone, I know for sure.
All the wonder that i want, i found in her.
When the whole becomes apart, I strike to burn and no flames return.
Every intuition fails to find it’s way
one more table turned around and back again
Finding I’m more lost and found when she’s not around
When she’s not around, I feel it coming down.
How can I have You when everbody wants your soul

Skye…I miss you. </3
Lost without you…

Im home , after 2 days in the ward. Im home , and i can honestly say i wish i was back in the ward.

Its come to my conclusion that i am going to try and off myself again.Im scared to death cause its a past method im using one that almost killed me.Im scared to death of doing this.But that little short lived happy time is over.Its left me and its always going to come and then not be there and i cant stand that.I am filth thats all i am while im alive.
The method will be successful this time.I would check myself into a mental hospital but there all crappy except the one i recently came from.That is to far away to go to.
I dont […]

I don’t know why I’m depressed, or at least feel depressed. All I know is I have friends who love me, a loving boy friend, I have things to look forward to.. But I just feel the urge to cut daily, I feel as though I want to die..

I just feel like sitting here and crying until I can’t anymore.. :/ idfk

No one is there for me when I need them. No one is there to catch me if I fall.

Family? Nope.

Friends? Nah.

Suicide hotlines? Not even.

“No one can love me” because I’m “so weird and selfish.”

There are people who are willing to argue that that’s not the case, but I bet they’re too fucking busy to even care. Hahahahahahahahaha ;).
Dad’s lectures are stupid as fuck and full of loopholes.

Mum’s his trusty yes man.

And I’m sorry, but the perfect, obedient son you’re looking for is in another castle.

Should have just eaten me when I was an egg, you god damn FUCKERS…

…HEY NIGGERS! YOU WANT MY LIFE […]

It all started at the beginning to high school, 9th grade.

I fit in perfectly, I made new friends everyday, hung out, went to parties, dated. Normal stuff that people would expect a normal teenager girl to do. But…I wasn’t exactly happy. Sure during the moment of all those parties and drinks and even experimenting with weed a few times (nothing I’m proud of anymore) I was happy. But after that adrenaline rush went away, and I sat in my bed looking up at my bedroom ceiling, I knew I wasn’t happy.

I guess I could say it started when I met Joe. He wasn’t someone that went to my […]

I go on here to hear people’s stories. I try to comfort people I know personally who wish that they were dead just like me. I see news articles on cnn about a teen girl who killed herself because she couldn’t take it.. Hell, I’ve had friends and even a love in the past that had taken their own life..

And now I take a second to think.. Who the fuck am I to try to save a life.. when I can’t even save my own? I’m drinking tonight.