I promised myself I would stay so he would have someone to go to homecoming with. It’s harder than I thought.

After homecoming, I’m done.  I don’t want to feel anymore. It’s so painful. I wish it would stop.

Don’t pay any attention to this; I’m usually not this stupid. It’s just makes me feel better knowing somebody saw this.

SO IM THE GIRL WHO  everyone sees laughing and smiling and looks lke she perfect. but im not at all i have a d+ in social and a c in choir my brother was on the honor roll all of his year of juinoir high and is still on it in highschool. my “bestfriend” said that we werent friend any more because she likes someone but they like me and she started a rumor saying that i had sex with him like serously people come on ima seventh grader here! ive been deppressed on adn off for a bout 2 years but last summer(2011) it […]

Im Waiting.

Waiting For my Life to get better.

Waiting for god to recognize me

Waiting for my turn to get better

Waiting for my life to turn right

…Waiting…

Im Just Waiting.

You are beautiful. Don’t ever believe what anyone else says about you. Click on this link. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/galia-slayen/the-scary-reality-of-a-re_b_845239.html

Since we’re young we’re taught we have to be perfect just like barbie. You have to be skinny, have big hips small waist, big bust, and be flawless just like her. Otherwise you were nothing. Barbie is not perfect. All our quirks and flaws make us who we are. They make us beautiful. Beauty comes in every size, shape, and form. Marilyn Monroe, considered to be one of the sexiest women of all time wasn’t a size zero. She was a 14/16. Be yourself, be you. It’s in the word. […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfvG3HuxBYI

i had been rying to keep that im suicidal from my mom but now she knows…  and so does my therapist… they both want me on meds but they can’t give them to me unless i say i want them because im 16 now. i hate my mom knowing… shes confronted me twice about it now and she just found out last night. i don’t know if things will be better at all but right now im not sure that anyone else knowing would help… im so lost and confused…

Hi im sammie im new to this website and im more here to see if people can really save me or help me from what i am going through. well the moral of my life is im a 14 year old girl who dosint know what to do in life anymore, i barley have friends and my family is spreading more and more away from me. I never made my mom happy with nothing and my dad left me last year to move to texas. I have about 60 cuts on my right arm and the name “james” on my left arm, james is my […]

I am finding myself obsessed with obtaining reassurance from other people that I am worth it, and that I am worth more alive than dead.  I can’t seem to function on my own. I always look to another person for my own confidence… usually a friend, or someone I newly met. Of course the ironic thing is that I can’t gain confidence from other people, and I know that already. Also terrible, is that I usually latch onto someone else when I am at my weakest. What generally happens is that they panic and back away because I latch on too tightly. I don’t know […]

IM 17, A SENIOR IN HIGHSCHOOL, AND I WANT OUT. Suicide is scary though, but I don’t wanna live anymore….I really need an easy way out. I hope to soon realize that I shouldn’t be afraid of death. I mean I want it so bad, yet it scares me. It’s effed Up.

Do any of you know this song? It explains exactly how i’ve felt pretty much my whole life.

http://youtu.be/ZGuGiezVzXE

I still haven’t made up my mind. I’m still scared and still very sad. I’m leaving tomorrow. If I don’t come back, I just wanted to thank those who talked to me. I hope that all of you find what you’re looking for. Wish me luck, no matter which choice I make. Goodbye. 🙂

Where’d you go?

Why’d you leave me?

Was it something I said?

Was it something I did?

Was it my fault?

Did I deserve it?

Do I deserve it?

Why me?

Why’d you have to leave me?

Alone?

You left me alone..

You promised you’d never leave..

And that you’d always be there.

Why’d you leave?

These things go through my mind, all day, all night…

Just why?

Answer me that..

I’m trying to figure out this life..

Is anyone trying to find me?

Does anyone want me?

Why is everything so confusing?

Can someone help me?

Be by my side?

Hold my hand?

Guide me through the dark?

Someone?

Anyone?

Have you ever wondered whether your perception of reality isn’t distorted?

I have a problem. I get belligerent for no conceivable reason; rebellious for the sake of being rebellious. It’s impulsive. Reactive. I notice when it happens, but usually moments after the damage has been done. It’s frustration, pent up over time and undirected.

I’ve taken some time to reflect on it, and I need to curb it – put space between incitation and reaction.

This same tendency carries out into how I think; I have a hostile streak towards higher education, for instance, because I see the financial aid system as a scam to […]

It’s only a matter of weeks.  Not exactly sure when but everything is finally in place except the notes i will leave for the family and some fine details.  i made out my will and split up my assets among my sisters and nephews.

I bought all the equipment necessary from Ebay and a few hardware stores plus a fabric shop.

That was very difficult to do but I got it done despite the depression.  My mind is firmly made up. Taking myself out seems to be the only logical option considering my suffering.

My suffering takes the form of a spinal conditon that the doctors can not […]

I don’t wanna do another day it’s to much I quit someone tell me how to end this

I can’t keep on going like this. What’s the best way? How many pills, what ones?

I am humbled by this site. If only we had a clue as to how many others suffer in this life. Idk when this started but I have felt it building for a very long time. And, I have to say, it brings such guilt that, ironically, that is all that has kept me here.

My chidren, my amazing, beautiful children. I have raised the 3 of them on my own and am known as the strongest lady most people have ever known. Boy we had struggles and Lord knows I worked my ass off, but, we made it. I was a very strong willed resourceful Mom […]

I’m so fucked up. Sometimes i have so many contradicting and confusing thoughts i feel they might explode like kernels of popcorn inside my head. I have so many questions and thoughts and feelings that i don’t know how to verbalise them and yet if i don’t try it becomes unbearable. I think people don’t want to believe that there are other people experiencing what they are, i mean we all say we that we don’t want to be alone or misunderstood but i think deep down that’s exactly what we want, because that exact moment were reminded of just how many people in the […]

I just wanted to say hello again.. It’s been a while since I reached out on here. A lot of new names.. similar stories. I just wanted to say hello.. I’m still alive, and still debating each day why I’m still here.. Seeing you guys and seeing people who have gone through what they have really helps.. Helps me know I’m not alone.

And know that neither are you…