I am new to this, I am 14. Everyday I face school. School is..well you are supposed to look forward to going to school, seeing your friends, etc..me? I dread school. I hate it. I hate going, I hate homework, I hate the people, the food, I hate it all. I want to end it. After a hard day at school, being bullied, and made fun of on volleyball, I come home, and get on facebook/twitter and read the cyberbullying going on to me. I can’t help but cry. Cry my eyes out. Scream, yell, and kick. Throw my computer across the room, and text […]

Hello all,

It’s me again. So some of you might know already (from ******) that I attempted to kill myself last week. On Tuesday I went to bed feeling like shit. I’ve been taking sleeping pills for months now and I still can’t get to sleep. It’s the most frustrating experience I’ve ever had. Anyway, I had taken 3 pills the night before and still couldn’t sleep. So, the next morning I was still completely off my head… Kinda’ high I suppose. All my suicidal thoughts just became too much. I took about 25-30 tablets. My house-mate found me and called security who in turn called the ambulance. I spent […]

Abortion is legal, they have clinics where you can take the life of another… But how come when you want to take your own life, you can’t do it as humanely? Why can’t you pay a couple thousand dollars for nice comforting morphene overdose?

It’s legal to get paid to fuck a random person on camera in any and every position available, and you in turn and buy that and, well… you know the rest. But when it comes to standing on the side of the street and dishing it out, both contenders get their asses put in jail.

Is society fucked up or what? Who are […]

ohmaigawd…….. my mom and i just had this whole frigging talk about how stupid i am and how i should just die. holy shit, i swear i could just die right now but im not going to because i have to finish typing this. my mom is sending me to china next year because she is “ashamed” of having me as a child. if you went through my thoughts this is how i see it: if i die before next year then i dont have to go to china, i wont have to live this bullshit life anymore, and my mom will be happy too […]

I’ve been checking this site out for a long, long time.  I’ve led a miserable life, anytime I’ve gotten close to ending things I’ve always found a way out.  Now, I’ve gotten to the point that I’m tired of trying to figure things out, I’m tired of the unexpected, and I’m tired of the self-destruction.  I’ve always been able to hide any problems I’ve faced, issues I’ve dealt with, people around me seem to think I live a “perfect” life.  If they only knew the truth, would they still be there?

I have it all planned out.  I have letters written to those that mean the […]

I am 17 and 6 weeks pregnant and want to die! I am so stupid I’m a runaway for almost a year and i got pregnant my parents lost there rights and i can’t get medical unless i go to a foster home I will never go back! i am stuck between 2 possible fathers and I Have feelings for both but at some point they are both assholes I am looking into ways to end mine and my baby’s life!

My world is sinking in

Ankle-deep

And skin, too thin.

 

Trapped in solitude,

Surrounded by multitudes,

Misunderstood

Left unprotected,

Left too corrected.

 

Caught in a dream world,

Not here, not there.

Nowhere.

 

Bullet in my head,

Swinging from a tree,

Buried six feet under,

Why won’t she die?

 

Ripped and broken,

Torn a sunder,

With a heart like hers,

It’s a wonder.

 

Let her wander,

In the desert,

Through the mud,

There is no water,

Only sun..

 

Breaking chains,

Breaking free,

Still feel bound,

To every day.

 

Breaking hearts,

Broken mind,

Breaking promises,

Need to unwind.

 

Breaking faces with fists of iron,

And suffering the consequences

From whence they burn.

 

Time to sleep,

Time to die,

It’s better than this,

Unable to cry.

 

Foundering in my thoughts,

Left to think,

It’s a crime,

To plot to murder yourself

For less than the dime

You found in your wallet,

Hidden in […]

I woke up with a masive head
I woke up with vomit around me
I looked up and saw my mom giving me a mop
I cleaned my mess
Last Night I took a whole bottle of advil with some ibeprofen
Last Year I started to be “different”
Friday Septemember 28 I found out that i was eligbue to be in a school for talented “Special” Kids
Yesterday I found out i can pay to be in that school
Today I wish I took more pills
I hate being 12 years old

I don’t know what to say. I’m close and the guilt that usually pulls me back isn’t as strong as it used to be. What makes this worse is I am so alone that I’ve resorted to the potential wisdom/comfort of strangers because “no one cares” is so bloody literal it has become unbearable. I’ve read posts and should be comforted that I am “not alone”, but to see so many people in so much pain who are so alone…it just causes more despair.

I used to think I didn’t want to be here anymore. Now I’m quite convinced I simply can’t.

So I was going to to homecoming with this one girl. She does go to a different school so I had to do all this bullshit paper work so she could go and get it approved by her school. SO after that was all out the way I bought the ticket. I told her and she said okay. Then ignores me the whole week! Homecoming was last night. But Friday  at school I decided to not take her but take a really close friend of mine.

So I bought my friend her ticket and she was SOO excited. I was to I mean really we both […]

-*-

I’m new here.  Not too fond of social networks, though could this be called one?  I guess, in some respects.  That being said, I probably won’t be around often, not that anyone would really care since none of you know me anyway.  I’m not really into divulging much about my personal life, but it’s never been easy.  My mother is wacky to say the least, my dad is equally as wacky, and my sister is taking after them.  Not that I’m not wacky, but I just don’t have the energy to 3v1 them.  Most of the time, I’m either doing my homework or playing video […]

This song is a personal favourite of mine, one of my favourite Portugal. The Man songs actually. It’s off the album In The Mountain In The Cloud and you can read whatever you want into it, but it seems pretty obvious to me…

This song was used in the Doctor Who episode Vincent and the Doctor, and as any art lover will know Vincent Van Gogh was famous for suffering from severe depression (he cut one of his own ears off in a manic episode) and committing suicide at the age of only 37 scorned as an artist in his own lifetime…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khvC1M14S1M

I haven’t been on here for a long time because I really needed sometime to think. Thank you for all your comments they were very inspiring and helpful. It seems like everyone on here could be my family even if my family doesn’t want me, I see that. But now I have something popping up and I don’t know how to deal with it. I have had abusive boyfriends, cheating boyfriends, ‘use and go’ boyfriends, and just to sum it all up ‘BAD BOYFRIENDS’. It’s my fault for having boyfriends at a young age, but that is what i turned to for comfort, boys. I […]