I have a normal life. A mother and family who loves me. And I am so utterly sad. My childhood was a mess of beating and abuse from my schoolteachers. My little brother and best friend died. I crave sympathy and the shock on people’s faces. I do nothing but sit around and feel sorry for myself. I am pathetic, I am a fool, a selfish, ungrateful, self centered loser who cannot commit to anything. I am 15 and I want to die already. My father is whining pile of sh*t that I hate. He is evil and I see him every day. I cut […]

Been preoccuppied with sp chat and FBSP rather than the original. My old home. I have endured much in my past i jsut want out. I need a gun. Fast. My moms boyfriend wants to take me to mexico so we could shoot guns and shoot drug dealers cuz i want the army to “shoot people”. I want to off myself is the real reason. I am triggered by special phrases that fuck me over most of the time. Whats going on? almost always triggers the voices especially when im insane from 12-4 am… I started crying right now cuz of the voices coming back […]

Wounds aren’t so easily healed, especially when struck by those closer than others. Goodbye

Hi
i really can’t stop planning my own death. I am unhappy,sad,lonely.
My mind is full of regrets. I am crying as i am writing. It just sucks being me

I once knew a piper,
He danced to his own tune,
Got bit by a viper,
Got caught up in his doom,
Don’t we all know a piper,
Who got bit by a viper,
Dancing to tunes,
In the middle of our rooms,
And I need a cappuccino,
Don’t touch my oregano,
Or I’ll kick you where,
The sun don’t shine.
And those two lines,
Didn’t fucking rhyme,
Oh, well.

I know. I has skills at the poetries.

I am 27. And I havent accomplished anything in all this time.

Two years ago I attempted to kill myself, and obviously I failed. I got caught and then I was forced to talk to people, who told me that life was worth living, that suicide wasn’t the answer, that I should try harder, that my life would have some purpose. Two years later, and its still the same. The thought of death haunts me more often.

I keep pretending I’m so happy and ok, but this mask is fading away and I cannot keep it up, the truth is that I am slipping away, the truth is […]

I spend my free time in my room playing games and listening to the spirits speak to me.  They aren’t any kinder than my cruelest bullies, so it isn’t much fun.

I do okay in school in a tough major, but sometimes everything gets to be too much.

I just want to lay my head on the train tracks nearby.  It seems just as good a choice as any.

reading a lot of posts on here lately (i’m around, even if i don’t comment, i don’t like trying to offer advice when i don’t have any), seems like some of this site has degenerated into the petty bullshit that communities always do. just goes to show that even the most superficial of relationships break down in destructive ways. there’s no point in trying to connect with anyone, really.

anyway i noticed that most people say that this is a community of people who are at their end… people who have made multiple attempts, people who have been with depression for a long time. now i […]

Tonight I am 12 years old and 5 months and some days old
Tonight I might end it
Tonight I may take some pills
Tonight I will probably get chronic organ disorders
Tonight I cut Myself
Tonight I dream about Happiness
Tomarrow I will wake up fine or with regret
In a week I will be in school, Sad with mixed emotions
In a mouth my good friends will be my worst enimes
In a year I will be closer to death
In a life time I will be dead, Happy
But
Tonight I will be dreaming about Ethan, oh how I love him,he is […]

This weight is crushing me…. i can’ t keep this facade up any longer

I’m so weak. No wonder I’m alone… fuck it, where’s my blade.

don’t judge….atleast it takes this pain away

I have posted a random topic that has nothing to do with anything – save for expressing my general attitude, and containing a song which keeps me afloat and not hacking at my wrists with a bandsaw.

I are so bad.

I are needing a spanking.

Any volunteers?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBLENB3CasQ

What’s Destiny? To me, it’s the thing that gets formed by every choice we ever make, and everybody’s destiny is intertwined and if one person messes up their own life, it’ll affect everybody else. Maybe like the butterfly/hurricane theory? Dunno.. Just wanna hear someone’s opinion.

On September 29, 2010, three young teens took their lives.

Asher brown, age 13, shot himself.

Ramond Chase, age 19, hung himself in his dorm room.

And Seth Walsh, age 13, hung himself.

Please remember these names as you go throughout your day.

Generally, I’m willing to help people.

But I’m losing that now.

Do people really need me anymore? I tried ending it all last night, but it didn’t work.

Generally, I want to help you all and I most of the time try to make people feel better, but not today.

If anyone needs to talk, they can email me.

It’s brl.cents@gmail.com

I’ll try to be kind to you.

My parents are fighting about money again.  Bitching about how much money mom doesn’t make.  It’s really really hard for this to not affect me.  And it seems like all he ever does is belittle my mom.  He’s trying to force her to get a different job, one that she doesn’t enjoy.

Since people have not been following the sites rules I thought I would post about week 4 of the greatest sport in the world, the N.F.L. Hear me out though as it is also a post about depression

Ravens Vs Browns game was a no brainier for many people on Thursday night but the Browns did put up a good fight in the end.

Bills Vs Patriots will be huge as will the Jets Vs the 49’ers

Chiefs Vs Chargers will be a good match off game against to teams

and the Bengals Vs Jaguars will be great against two average teams fighting for top dog, with this sort […]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism

🙁

It’s too loud to act upon inspiration.
 
Silence cannot be gained when humans are awake.
 
Useless talking and a response of irritation.
Talking commences and whining ensues.
 
Just shut up already.  You have no point.
 
Why are you still making noise.
 
Go to sleep and stop hanging around me,
creating bothersome sound and pushing me around.
 
Silence falls when humans sleep,
the world comes back to life while minstrels weep.
 
 
 
 

You can probably tell I’m not in the best mood.  If you can’t, just know that whenever I write poetry and such, I’m probably not in the best of moods.  Not necessarily angry or depressed.  Just not positive.

you know people around you don’t like you and don’t give a crap about you?

I could ditch them, but then I’d be alone, and with nothing to do, I’d stay home and mope even more and be more depressed.

Easy to say just make new friends.  But I haven’t made a real “friend” in years.  I just don’t understand why I can’t connect with people (or why people can’t connect to me), and why people don’t like me.  How can I get people to like me?  Like for real?

I sort of have people to hang out with sometimes, but it’s not real.

What needs to end?

Me.

I need to end.

Life’s getting out of control.

What needs to end, is me.

But I have to stay strong, and keep going.

Things will get better over time.

Who am I kidding.

It will just get worse over time.

I want to thank everyone, who brings me down, so low.

So low in fact, I have thoughts of killing myself.

And when the day comes, that you bring me so low. So low where I can’t get back up & brush myself off.

I hope […]