Why must i always feel this way? I wake up every morning wishing i would die. Icant stand being like this everyday. I go through my day planning new ways to kill myself, and i fight to control myself.

My mom and I have a horrible relationship. We are always fighting! No lie. Its not like I want to. But I really can help it. Before February she physical abuse.  But I had had enough of the abuse and called the police. She would pull my hair and throw things at me. She punched me and kicked me. One time he threw a phone at me and sprang my arm. After the police she didn’t do that to me as much. Now its more so Verbally. I only have 4 years left at my house. But with all the names she calls me I’m not sure how I’ll do […]

i try my best. but still my best insnt good enough. in order to please him… actually theres no way to please him. okay isnt good enough. Average isnt good enough. this mostly happens with math. which involves my grades. my grades are very good though. All A’s and B’s. but still that isnt good enough. And if i do bad on a test??? All i get from him is “why didnt you get an A”.
Do you get what im trying to say here?! If you do. Please help.

So I tried to. Commit suicide a few months ago. I would have been successful with my attempt’ had I not looked out the car window I was hiding in and seen my mom crying trying to find me, so I came out and don’t remember much past that until acouple days latter when i woke hooked to machines. Since then I dream of dieing but can’t put my family through that again but for real, I  don’t think my dad would recover  from my suicide. A part of me wishes my parents would die so I could kill myself’ but for the time being […]

Well a few weeks ago I tried taking my life. I really tried, I even warned people the night before. So when i took the pills. My “friends” left my dying body there and kicked it. Then I got a text from someone I didn’t really talk to say words I never heard before. “Isaiah…I don’t want you to die. I care about you.” It meant SO much. Then while she kept texting me, I tried staying alive so hard. Talking to her. Feeling safe and cared for. The feeling I never had before… I slowly started to fall for her. Then one day these […]

its the worst thing you can possibly do.

I’ve been on this site for a few months now. I haven’t made many posts, but I’ve been reading posts everyday. I know it’s a little late, but I’ve decided to introduce myself.

I don’t want to share my gender because I do not want to be judged. I know it’s sounds pathetic, but I don’t really care.
I’ve been depressed for a while and it all started when I was very young. I’ve never been on medication or been in a Mental home, but I’ve been in therapy for a long time. everyone thinks I’m recovering now, but I’m really not sure. It’s hard […]

I hate my life….words can’t describe it I’ve disappointed so many ppl and ppl who loved me have tyrned there backs on me. I have two beautiful little girls that I wish I cud give the world to but I cnt my life is a disaster and the only way that it could fiz is by me taking it away…a lot of ppl would prob be happy and won’t be worried or bothered by me no more idk where I went wrong in my life but in a few minutes all this will be over…I just pray my little girls have a better life without […]

i’ve never posted here before. i’ve read a lot of posts, and wanted to respond to many… but i never could find the right words, because i would feel hypocritical telling someone “it will be okay”, when in fact it very well may not be. i know that’s not the point, but still.

i had everything i every truly wanted. i was married to the most beautiful girl in the world, who also was my very best friend. i have been head over heels in love with her since we first met in 2001. i was 19 then, she was 16. we both made some mistakes, […]

My mom found out that I cut a she said if I do. It again the I would be are the mental place whatshould I  do

Hi my name is Rachael and I’m 17 and my mom wants me to get on anti depressants and I’ve been on the before and they didn’t help what should I do??

tommorows the big day!!!I got ahold of my moms box cutter the other night.Earlier that day i found some numbing stuff.its for teeth but i think if i put it on the blade itll numb the area for awhile.I probably should pay atenttion to my rule of not drawing atenttion to myself.But im not going to kill myself at home.I scared the fuck out of everybody with sleeping pills.If im around strangers and i dont know if thats good or bad thing.But then itll be easier.Im falling apart. Just yesterday i couldve been killed walking off at home att night.There was a guy in the […]

I’m saying no but how long for ?

I’m saying no but how long for  Will it go before I give in Hold on hard to what is good Freedom from these thoughts  These times that bind me  Please stand before me I am a prisoner of my own mind As time has shown I am the jailer  The keys hang on my belt  The doors I can open with forgiveness Gates will be no match for my will Run free I could be happy in the wild  If only I wasn’t a man of sin Alas my prison is not made of bars Nor steal […]

i am a survivour of suicide i tried to kill myself and now i an’t make the feelings go away, i can’t really share my feelings with my gf, i’m a lesbian which makes things worse, cause people say stuff, and my family won’t accept it and i’m also a survivour of childhood molestation. i see things at night and i feel like why bother some times. help

Rhetorical questions. I don’t expect anyone to do anything. Part of me doesn’t want them to.

It’s the 27th of September next Thursday, Those of you who know me well will know how I feel about this date. For those of you that don’t, I guess you will find out.

Today has been shit. Really shit. To the point where I realized that I don’t want to do this anymore, And don’t fucking tell me that medication will help. I know it won’t, It will just basically numb my emotions so i’m like a lifeless robot (funnily ironic right?) I don’t want to do these routines anymore, I figured […]

Ok, been to the doctor today and he tells me I have cancer. I’m killing myself if I don’t do a treatment option. So, the only thing that comes to mind is a noose and latter. I’d rather die quick than let them kill me or make me the walking dead. I’m just stuck.

I always comin back on my black days.. Some of small comments always helps me a little bit..

I got knife to my back yesterday… New lesson of life: “never believe in people too much” “never plan too far” “never trust somebody too much”. My fucking roomie, he called me and said: “im moving out, i quit studies. bye”. It means i cannot rent this big flat alone, too expensive! I am going to Asia after three days – it means i have no time for searching and […]

Friendship is sometimes painful,because my friendship is painful.

Actually, It been since 2 months  I talked with my friendship. The reason? Because one of my friend dont want to talk to me. I miss them. But when I see that they are happy without me it’s hurt me alot. I was not special to them.I was only a person to hang out when they were alone or to use when they are bored. I know. For them I am always the bad girl who make problems. But i want to change that I want to show them that i can be a good friend. Everynight I […]

My friend. She started dating this dude. But last week she hated him? I was taking her to homecoming. Still am, but her boyfriend may be upset. She said if he has a problem he can’t be with her. But I want to be with her. This is only a small piece to the puzzle for my reasoning. Help