I can’t handle this much longer.
I promised i would stop but tonight i am burning myself, never done it before but i need to feel something else other than this intense sadness and pain. And cutting is too hard to hide now.
I want to die. Why can’t i just be normal?
I think ive cracked something, infact I know I have . As most people know men are extremely more likely to commit suicide than women. I read that 80% of suicides are men and 74% of the time it is white males.
I wonder how much this ratio has to do with the relationship between men and women sexually and love wise. black men are generally wanted more.
women are extremely personal in my experience and really quite unforgiving on the large.
They dont really give mankind much (no offence) obviously this is a generalisation, but women are usually difficult to please and for men suffering and in bad places they really do have […]
There’s nothing wrong with my life, besides the fact that I’m a useless leech. I’m 28 and haven’t done a damn thing with my life. I’ve always been told that it’s because I’m lazy, and I’ve accepted it. I’ve been sad for no *good* reason for most of my life (plenty of shallow reasons–too stupid, too ugly, too awkward, etc, etc). Attempted suicide once, many years ago. Woke up in intensive care to suffer massive guilt from my mother. My dad wouldn’t speak to me for almost a year after that–just flat out ignored me, though we lived in the same house. (Because of course […]
I’ve battled with depression over several years; I’ve tried different meds to help out, but with varying success. They can keep me up to a certain level, but once life hits, there’s no staying afloat.
There’s been so much turmoil in my life; business going bust, marriage on the verge of breaking, custody and visitation battles, verbal fights with stepkids, friends leaving me, money running out, vehicles break beyond repair or being stolen, workplace f**ked up..
I’m at the point where I just don’t see what my purpose of being here is – people and situations just constantly push back or throw spanners in the […]
as the blackness blankets this side of the world
fear creeps into my mind
my nightlight dosent protect me
from the monster in my head
he only comes at night
when everyone is asleep
to feed his guilty pleasure
he creeps upon me
i feel him at the end of my bed
coming from underneath
i know not to scream
or ill find a pillow taking my last breath
i pretend to be asleep
 close my eyes as tight as i could
soon it would be over
and […]
I was doing some reading on Bipolar II, and under the category of “Hypomanic Episodes”, one of the symptoms is “Unrealistic optimism”. I wish I hadn’t read that now. It makes me wonder that this optimism that I’ve held onto so tightly for the past few days now is unrealistic, this dream of finding a job and moving to California.
I don’t really feel like I’m in a “hypomanic episode”. I’ve been there before, I know what they feel like. I don’t have the increased energy or happy go lucky feeling or strange impulses. I’m still struggling every day to make myself get out of bed […]
 i don’t know why i came to this site. i’m not actually reaching out for help. After comming here and reading a few of the postings though i couldn’t help but share.
 About 10 months ago i started having problems at work. my job was as a vendor for a rather large well known company, which serves grocery stores, restaraunts, ect. (please pardon my lack of proper spelling and grammer) The company required us to write shift notes for the weekend person covering our shift so i had complete documentation of everything our customer, the company itself, and/or i needed done. Over the course […]
the day my mom finally decides enough is enough, and they are over forever. i now can finally be happy and no longer fear waking up in the morning..except nothing is finalized for a couple weeks..damn though my dad is trying to sell the house when he aint ganna be the one keepin it so i may or may not move i hope not hes the issue his ass can get out. im ganna enjoy this new adventure. however it will encounter shreaking from my sister…she does not like this idea..but its time for me to be happy and now thanks to my mom im […]
my wrists had been looking so clean. and then they got all dirty again. really dirty
I suppose I am doing this correctly.. I am new here after all.
My story?
It’s a little bit too long for a post that I have the patience to make right now, so let me just sum it up so you all can get a general idea of where I am coming from.
My family: I have a mom, who can be psychotic at times but a lot of moms are. I look at her more as a person rather than my mom. Sure, she might get involved in my life attempting to be my parent but for the most part she is just […]
I played a few times….
No biggie….
 I was a stikler on even numbers, so I decided to break that OCD trait.
 That was my purpose of playing that russian game.
 It was not the cause.
Sometimes I wonder if there truly is a plan for my life….
Sometimes I wonder if it would be wrong to continuosly test this theory…
 sometimes…
(Ppl will read this as though it is a poem.. it is not. I centered the shit)(Ppl dont need to read my page, I’m no faker.) But if one needs inspiration… be my guest.. […]
My one friend left doesn’t live anywhere near me. I was supposed to spend the weekend at her house, and to be honest I couldn’t wait because I needed to tall her everything that’s been going on with me emotionally– she was the last thing keeping me from going over the edge. She just told me that lots of people are going to be at her house this weekend. I guess its a combination of my social anxiety and the fact that when Im around new and many people its just gives me depression meltdowns where I can’t even do anything about them, and just […]
Lucifer, one of god’s blessed angels betrayed him because he wanted his power. my situation is similar. this one girl i like i know ill never get but i still go for her. i don’t even give myself a chance for anyone else because i know i don’t deserve her or anyone else for that matter. that sentence didn’t make sense. anyways, i was just curious to see how many people have a big problem with envy. oh and if anyone has any good ways to commit suicide please tell thank you!
I cut again…. this time in a place that no one will see.
My friend has ignored me all summer, and now that school started it’s really sad to pass him on the bus in awkward silence, and to see him in school and to walk right by him. I figured I would try one more time and if he didn’t talk to me, then I was done trying. He ignored me again… 🙁 This really makes me sad because we used to bereally good friends, and now he wants nothing to do with me and I miss his presence in my life so much.
I hope you all had […]
I use to be so happy and so inisent , so mindless and careless , then came grade 2 . I just moved into a new place with new people and a new school , a new everything . I remember I didn’t even want to go , I begged and begged my mom to let me stay home , but she wouldn’t let me , so I walked inside while everyone was outside , then when everyone came back in , I just couldn’t even say anything to anyone , I didn’t fit in at all , I felt like a little kid standing […]
my love texted back. maybe she still likes me as a friend and i can live with that. ill do anything for her. anything
this is to all who are considering suicide…please don’t do it, there is so much help for you out there and you can feel happy. my mom had attempted to commit suicide about 5 months ago and i still cannot sleep alone, i have visions at night, and my anxiety is through the roof. something like this cannot be forgotten, your family and friends will be forever scarred, and so will you. i know you may be struggling to the extreme right now but there is so much hope, soo much. please don’t do it, please. <3
I have been seriously considering suicide for several years. I am a hard-core cutter. I have several ways that I am considering killing myself. I have attempted suicide before, and ended up in a psych hospital, which absolutely sucked. I think that the easiest method by far would be to take a cyanide pill or to inhale cyanide somehow, but I don’t know where you’d get it.
If nobody does yet, I’ll probably revert back to one of my other methods. I ‘m sick of everything at this point, and I don’t give a shit about anything any more, and I just want it all […]
I’m so sick of the people I see everyday. So fucking sick. They are a bunch of souless whores who have nothing better to do then make fun of people and ruin lives. I was the ONLY one in the whole fucking school who cared enough to wear yellow. The ONLY one who knew why today was a day to wear yellow. And people asked, I told them ‘It’s Suicide Awareness Day’. I got LAUGHED at. They said things like ‘suicides for losers,’ and ‘why do you care so much, you suicidal?’ And then I told one of my friends about it, and he’s like […]
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