Before I became depressed I would have answered this question with a for sure “yes” and now that I have been depressed for as long as I have I feel that it is the least selfish thing a depressed person can do. Many people (Mainly those who haven’t been suicidal) would say it is very selfish because of the pain you will be causing to those who loved you… So they are basically saying “just so you don’t cause pain to others you should bare the pain and suffering of your life, live without happiness and joy just so others can stay happy” In my […]
So to make it short, Im 22 im a gay man. When I was 15 i left because my father and step mother didnt know how to handle me because of my frustration with dealing with my mother abandoning me my brother and sister when we were children. i watched her cheat on my father and I told him about this..hence the beginning of the divorce. It was rough and Im the oldest so I saw how it affected all of us..my brother became quiet and began playing by himself..isolating himself from anyone and everything..you would call im the easy child..sister was an infant so […]
I just looked, and I can get a one way ticket to LA for just $155 on Amtrak. It would take 2 days to get there, but why would I be in a rush just to get to a city where I have no where to live? But I don’t feel like I should stay here. I’m only a burden to everyone I love.
I used to think I loved my mother unconditionally… No matter what she did or how many times she hurt… I still always forgave… But my love has reached its limit she has hurt me countless times and I am done with her… She will never change…. I only hope that one day I can not love her agin but forgive her for all she has done…
One year since my ex told me she no longer felt anything for me. We were engaged. And when I got depressed she asked me what the problem was. A week later I hear from a friend that she might be pregnant with my child, but she didn’t plan on telling me, and she’d just ‘take care’ of it without me. I spiraled after that.
I’ve spent the last year drinking away my pain. But it just piles on. With a dead end low wage job, too much debt to get a loan to go back and finish my degree, and what few friends I […]
I think one of the main reasons I can not do suicide is that I am afraid of going to hell.. They say if u kill your self it’s a major sin and you go to hell? I am not a religious person but the thought of this scares me.. What if this is true what if my after life is worse then my current life?? Is ther an after life?? Is there a hell?? Or is it just death when you die nothing more?
In about 8 hours I’ll be leaving for ontario.It’s only when I had finished packing that it strucked me…Not that I’m sad to leave the place where I lived for 15 years.More like that I won’t see the only person that understood me a bit again.I can see how painful it is to my father too.I feel a bit bad that ploting suicide without him knowing anything.I cried for about 30 min in the shower.I didn’t thought I still could.
When I get there,I decided to give myself a month.One month to look at my life and see if it get any better.If not,then I’ll […]
My first thought suicide was when I was really young about 8 years old I tried to slice my wrist open… I am now 14 years old and instead of trying to kill myself anymore I smoke weed to escape… Every now and then I still think of suicide but then I just go and smoke….
So my aunt has had custody of me for a few years now and at first it was just me and her until her husband came into the picture thats when things went bad… For years now there has been content arguing and many times were they almost got a divorce and all because of me.. It’s came to the point were enough is enough and they might get a divorce for real this time.. I feel that if I leave and go back with my dad then my. Aunt can save her marriage with me out of the picture… Should I leave or stay….idk […]
I created an account here to try and help me deal with All my problems.. I fell like this is. Place where I can let out all of my feelings and not be judged or put down… Plus I think it will be good to let all my emotions out instead of keeping it all bottled up….
what!? i swear, 5 minutes ago i was happy…smiling even! today was a good day!! now im fighting back crying??? im worse…now I WANNA FUCKIN DIE NOW?! dear geezus i just wanna be happy an d stay thhat way.. BUIT NO IT DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT!? im sick of this…ok so what if i die? ha im sure my bf wouldnt mind. im sure my family as hell would NOT care, so why dont i just leave. NO SHUT THE FUCK UP! i have to be happy. sorry but bipolar wont let me but only on rare occasions, ugh. this makes everything so much harder. […]
Hi Everyone,
I came here as it seems to be my last hope. I have been dealing with depression for 5 years and just found out I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Manic Depression. For the first 3 years, it was pretty easy compared to everything I’m going through now. I only thought of suicide, but never attempted. Then, I started to attempt and wound up in the hospital twice from it. Well 2 months ago, my fiancee broke up with me and I was devastated. I seeked therapy and was getting hope from my ex-fiancee that we would get back together. 1 1/2 months later, […]
I have had the idea on my mind since I was like 12 (I’m 33 now). The things that always kept me from going were the same as any one else’s (i guess): hurting those I leave behind, to fail the attempt, going painfully or scared. I mean, most of the ways of doing this succesfully are either extreme, violent, creepy or too painful. I know it sounds like I’m the afraid one, and maybe that’s partly it, but also, I can’t get off my mind the fact that someone will find me, and someone will tell my people how i went, so it’s already […]
I just found this site. I’ve been looking for a place where I can talk about wishing for death without everyone jumping on me and talking about the wonders of life.
I hope I found it.
What would you do if you told someone that you tried to overdose on a medicine and they just tell you that next time to just take the right amount… and you kept letting them know that you tried to overdose and they tell you to take the medicine because it would be good for you even though you just took way too much of it?
Ive had a crappy day ,I don’t know how much longer I can stand this.
These are songs that explains what I been going through and how I deal with it:
1. Earlyrise-Narcissistic Cannibal
2. Avril Lavigne- Alice(Underground)
What’s your song?
If i dont fal asleep, im problibly gonna make another attemp to die
Bad things happen. I am aware of that, for some of them i was responsible,some had to happen sooner or later ( I guess because we had to learn a lesson), and some are just tragic consequences of reality which is a cover for “caused by other people”.
I don’t feel suicidal i am not even mad, the emotions are exchanging quickly one  replacing the other. These last few hours i am acting like i am already dead,not paying any attention to the world around me.
What happened was not my fault,it can’t be. But i can say one thing, this experience taught me a great […]
yes i wanna die no i probably wont die idk what to think, everything else on top it all. makes me cray. today: good day. BUT IM SICK OF BEING IGNORED BY MY BF! idk what to say or do anymore. i think i might just stay a while longer..i just wish i had my bf by my side..