Me and my gf were together ffor awhile and we had planned to get married. But then a week later everything went downhill…she screamed at me “screw forever” saying I don’t love you and everything else as she walked away…I have no friends and no one to talk to, I’m too dam scared to kill myself and I just hurt everyone around me…I’m the biggest ***** ever…I wish id just die some natural way…
I’m one of those people that like to pay attention to detail, so natrually I found everything wrong about myself. I’d lie awake at night thinking about all the things I might have done wrong that day and saying to myself “God, you’re an idoit” Whenever someone complimented me, I always thought “they’re just saying that to spare my feelings, they don’t really like me” And i’ll admit, I’m pretty fucked up in the head.
Self harming, or cutting. What a concept man, I love it. Nothing feels better then thinking you can just cut away all these imperfections. And thats what I did. And it […]
i am in so much pain life is spiralling downwards and is out to get me. no kne cares about me cuz right now i have to be there for my friends who re upset and i dont wanna upset them more with my provlems:/ ohhh fuck i want the guilt and pain to stop NOW
I was right about you all along.
When I thought someone finally cared about me, when I opened up & didn’t leave me, you left. You don’t even realise it either. I needed you. & you weren’t there. You were the first person I’ve ever opened up my dark, dark self to. I just want to cry out, do you realising what you’re doing to me. Do you realise the mess I am, desperate for help screaming at you, standing right in front of you?
You’re just like everyone else , you don’t care ; you’re just curious .
There is honestly no space on my wrists anymore. There’s no space left on my thighs. I hate purging. I hate starving. I hate eating. I hate not being good enough. I just wonder why I bother. Such a young age, & I’ve already attempted suicide. It hurts waking up, it hurts to smile, I just hate everyone. I’m so pathetic I disgust myself, I hate my bipolar, self-harmer, anorexic, bullimic self.
She wakes up everyday and look at the clock as it was a curse, one more day to fake a smile and walk trough life emotionless.
She remembers the voices on her ears when she was little, she feels someone is there to hug her but that someone is unknown and that scares her so hard she wants to cry… but she can’t, her feelings are hide on the deepest of herself so she can’t show what is feeling.
She goes to sleep with the hope of no waking anymore, but when she opens her eyes in the morning and realize that she stills […]
I am socially retarded. Everyone I’ve met ever has understandably hated me. I’m aloof and unaware. People think I’m selfish and mean and awkward, etc. I have Asperger’s. Between my friends there is always a boundary between us because of this. I’ve wanted to die every day for a while, but it’s getting worse. Basically I am remembering everything that ever happened to me, and I know the phrases the past is past and only now counts, but I literally can’t forget. So I’m not sure how to live with the burden of days of years of things I’ve done. Life sucks a lot.
well i guess ill start with my story since some of yall on here are new and i havent posted in awhile. when i was little the one man in my life who was supposed to be there for me left { my dad } and told my mom he hoped i died and was born with aids luckly i wasnt i was just born sick then my mom got with another man who i grew to love and called dad they broke up but i still went to his house with my new half sister everyweekend { to keep you unconfussed later i have […]
this is the angriest poem I’ve ever written. It cones from the deepest footings of my hatred. Enjoy
I split my arms open every night to endure
The pain I am put through each day
All the fakeness all the lies I see through
Has done nothing to save my faith
I want to watch you burn. I want to see you die.
I want to see the light leave your eyes as I kiss you goodbye
And laugh the way you did when I tried to kill myself
You said that you’d be there for me
That’s one cut
You said that you’d stay true
That’s two
I was having one of those moments where you decide, “this is fucking it, I’m gonna turn my life around.” Â That did not last long, but I do have one reminder of it in the form of the word “survive” tacked onto my wall. Â I feel like it should hearten me but it doesn’t; it just reminds me of how impossible that’s becoming for me. Â I don’t want to live but I’m scared of death, of the pain involved. Â The thought of getting up and going about my day tomorrow just makes me fucking sick. Â I feel so trapped and I don’t know what to […]
hi have a questions for people that cut? how do u clean your wounds. i just run water of them. what do u guys do.
The more honest you become with yourself, the less honest you can be with others, because you the more you sound like a nutcase.
Wheeee
I love my bycicle, it’s so worn and loyal. Getting rusty, and it’s a couple notches too big for my size which makes stopping and restarting a hassle and the front brake’s busted.
I daydream about getting straight out rammed by a monstrous car (then again what car isn’t a monster? Is there something uglier and more insulting than concrete?), a mangled bloody mess of broken nerves and metal lying on the pavement, a brainwave sliced by a cog.
An acrobatic improbable tumble where […]
May 31, 2012
9:30 p.m
I feel nothing. I feel useless, dull, and dead. I want to die. I’ve thought of dying. I need help. I NEED HELP! I have so much work to do I feel like I’m drowning, I feel empty. I feel like I have no emotions, I feel lifeless, that my life has no meaning. Nobody understands, at least I don’t think so. They all say it will get better or to suck it up. I can’t suck it up; my body and mind are betraying me! I know intellectually that I need to do things but then my mind […]
Sometimes, my depression keeps me up for hours at night.
When this happens, I roll around, trying a bunch of positions, until I find one where I can feel my heart beating.
What I do is, every time my heart beats, I imagine being stabbed in the chest. With every beat, destroying what I hate.
Stab.
Stab.
Stab.
Until I’m dead.
….Then in the morning, I wake up and sob.
i throw up every day
cut today
arm looks like shit
oh yeah i fucking hate my damn body!!!
I haven’t done anything yet but I’m about to either cut really deep or go down some meds. I need help from anyone. Please I just need to talk. If I don’t comment back, either my iPod is taken away or my panic attack may get the best of me. Please someone talk to me. I need the distraction or I might not be here tomorrow…
I started cutting in 5th grade. I always thought of trying to commet suicide but I was always to scared to try because i thought how will my parents feel ? When i got in the 6th grade things got worse I moved to a new town and my parents got divored and I didnt know anyone in this town, but i knew one person and they knew me to but not in a good way. It all started on facebook I met him and he looked cute but I never met him in person so I thought I would lie to my friends and […]
Liquor barley helps. Sleep is non existent. Letting go of life seems so pathetic and dramatic. Yet its the only thing that I know right now that will stop the pain. I just want to feel peace even if its for 5 measly minutes. Anything to drown the pain of knowing every time I open my eyes in the morning or shut them at night.. that I’m entirely alone. Maybe some people were born by mistake
I joined this community because I was at a loss. I have not been able to find support groups in my area or surrounding area. Since finding this site, I have felt some form of connection with individuals who understand and are struggling too. My story started the day I cut a bit too much and had the gun up to my head.  Then next day, I had been admitted to the hospital for 7 days, and treated for cutting and attempting suicide. The amazing thing since I have been out which has been approximately a month, I wish to God that I would have […]
This was supposed to be my official last day posting here.
Mainly because I’ve a lot of trabveling to do before my demise.
But heck I’ll probably still try to help out a little up until the day I go just not as frequently.
I know i’ll be dead within three months as I’ve procured my methods, already quit my job, and already put all the legal things in place.
It may be next week or it may be in August. But there is no turning back now.
My compassion … ah you know how it is.
Anyway… gouki99x@gmail.com if anyone wants to vent , insult me, or just talk.
I can […]