Sometimes life gets so sickingly boring I find ways to leave it. I begin to obsess over things to get my mind of life. I obsess over anything from a band to a tv show. I even obsess over ideas. For example one day i was so bored i looked online for a specific jacket that a guy from a band i love wore in a music video. I spent the entire day finding this jacket. Then once i found it i realized it was already 4am. I hadn’t eaten the whole day. I hadn’t even left my room for anything but bathroom breaks. I […]

It would seem as though I have a lot. Well-off family, decently attractive, intelligent…the list goes on. Sometimes, I feel like such an asshole for even feeling lousy when so many people in the world are suffering and have none of the things I have. But I just cant find a way to be happy.

I was adopted, so I don’t even know my medical history. Depression in the family? Who knows. I am 22 now and should be graduating from college, but I have transferred twice and can’t connect socially with anyone, anywhere. Everyone thinks I am super smart and know everything, but then why […]

I feel this way, on again, off again.  I’m sure other people feel it.  I hope no one else does, but at the same time, I hope I’m not alone feeling it.  It’s hard to describe it so I won’t right now but I’ll try to express my thoughts because of these feelings.  Every time I feel like this, I throw myself into a distraction. Sometimes they’re classes like the piano or learning a new language. Volunteer work.  Sometimes it’s following a sports team or being interested in a serial like a TV series. It’s shallow, very hollow, but I thought it helped. When the […]

My wish is to not have been born. I’m not good at living. It exhausts me. Physically and mentally. I’m exhausted every day from simple things like having conversations. I don’t want to kill myself. That is, I like the thought, but then I think of how this would destroy my parents, and I just can’t be that selfish. It’s hard for me to be myself with people. And I wish I had one person I could feel totally at ease with. But I think I feel that myself is not good enough, or that I don’t know who “myself” is, and then I feel […]

I am new to this site and frankly I’m scared. I have struggled with thoughts of suicide on and of for years but the key word is struggled. I have been in a place where I am so numb that contemplating methods is all I do and it doesn’t feel scary but rather reassuring. However, it is scary that people come on this website not for help the fight for life but to discuss gruesome methods? I understand that for some who are in this place discussing it might make it seem more acceptable or real but for me it is a concept that I […]

There’s a new girl who is in the waiting room at my psychiatrist’s office. She sits and waits while I sit and wait. She must be seeing someone else in the building at the same time as my appointment. She is pretty. She has more exposed cuts than anyone else I have seen. They look like they were put there deliberately. Most are completely healed. I want to say hi to her. I want to ask if she will be my friend. She looks sad and I feel crazy. Would it be wrong to ask […]

I feel like I have reached a wall where I have done all that I can and I don’t know what else is left….I have not actively pursued death but did almost  die; I almost drowned and it was an accident and left me a bit shaken I can’t help wondering if I might have been better off dead.

I had a dog for 12 years and my dad took him away from me and had his friend watch him.  They said they would take good care of him…and they did alright…first they claimed he disappeared and the next he was in the river but everything […]

I feel a deep love for Jasmine, a longing to show her I love her. I have gone past the sexual thoughts and I just want to hold her and kiss her. I was reading a sex story based on the Naruto show and how he pleased the women he seduced by treating them well. He showed them he would treat them right. I got teary eyed and my heart felt weird as I thought of Jasmine and as I think of it I get cold chills. 

I love Jasmine so much. Is this not a feeling of love? Is this really purely a desire and […]

I’m losing my strive and will to live. I can hardly even finish writing a single poem. Writing is all I have to live for, it’s the only thing I actually WANT to live for. Without it, I am nothing, without it, I’m better off dead.

With this hatred I stand
with a razor in hand
To see my final plan through
I wish I could see
The pain in which you’ll be
When you see that I’m through
The day has gone by
And now I will die
With your picture in my hand
But don’t think I’ll rest
It was not meant for us to last
But I’ll be sure to haunt you in your dreams

You’ll think of days that went by
Without a tear in your eye
And hope that theyll come back
But you know in your heart
That black hole of remorse
That you’ll never be […]

Never once before had the thought occurred to me that getting help was so scary. Everyone says it’ll be okay, but it really never will be. Something’s always going to be wrong, life isn’t going to be perfect, if it could be perfect just for one day, I would be fine, but eventually I’d have to remember, you can’t just forget about something and never think back to it again.. Nothing will ever be okay…

Why do I refuse to let anyone know how I truly feel?

My family is susceptible to bouts of severe depression, and it’s finally hit me. Every day I go to sleep hoping I won’t wake up. What’s worst is that I know there are people with lives so much worse than mine, and I feel guilty and shallow when I think about that. My life isn’t even that horrible – I have parents who love me, even if they sometimes don’t show it. My brother cares about me, and I care about him. But I haven’t really felt love. Every day, I wake up dreading what lies ahead, be it school or just facing other people, […]

im so so deeply lost…. the world feels like a stranger to me like it seems fake more and more everyday.. i take a walk and i notice things more.. my mind is more open… not sure why so maybe somebody else does? but I’m so lost… lost and scared… i want to drink the pain away.. but i have this feeling that if i start drinking i won’t be able to stop…. i also wanna get high.. ugh… I’m so very very very lost..scared and alone….

-RawrImaTurtle….!…

Please. Please no. Don’t do this. i know it feels like no one cares & like no one notices or helps or listens or any of that, but trust me they do.
My Uncle, killed himself 2 years ago. He hung himself on the back porch. He lived with my Grandparents. Imagine that. Waking up one beautiful morning, setting out to have your coffee on the deck, and seeing your son, or someone you love to death, dead. He had attempted it before, but was never able to actually do it.
He had a daughter that was 3. He had friends and family that loved […]

I’m so depressed right now. If I had a way I think I would kill myself right now. I’m thinking about trying to burn myself for the first time. I usually cut but maybe burning my flesh would make me feel better.

I’m so sick of this life. Everything is the same and everything just gets worse. People tell me “Just wait…It will get better.” But I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of holding on. I’m tired of always being strong. I want to be done. I’m so depressed.

There is no reason for me to be here.  No purpose to my life.  I am good at litterally nothing other than writing, singing, and dreaming of a life I’m not good enough at anything to have. All I can expect from life is a waitressing job, maybe a sub teacher.  That’s all.  I’m 14, and I know I’m worth as much now as I’ll ever be.  So why not just quit while I’m ahead?

A boy in my school committed suicide on Tuesday…he hung himself…I’ve been destraut about it since I found out. No one ever knew he would try to..no one even knew he was upset with his life. If I had known I would have tried to talk to him. I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember and have wanted to die for years now. Obviously I wouldn’t encourage him…I would have tried to get him off the ledge. He was a great kid. Everyone knew him and loved him even at our huge school. But after this happened it got me thinking…how horrible […]

im not scared of dying, so i dont understand what is still stopping me from doing it already.

im such a fucking dickhead.

I try every day to set myself up for someone I trust to see my scars.  I even sit there in class and pick at the scabes or fiddle with the bracelets I use to hide them.  I let my friends play with the bracelets, give them full view of my wrists.  And they never notice.  I just want someone to see, to understand, and to take my hand and lie to me and tell me it’s ok and that they’ll take care of me.