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Trying to pull it together

January 6th, 2011by radiuszero

This is my first real attempt at posting anything of this nature online, so bear with me.

On the outside I’m this very bubbly, cheerful person, one who constantly smiles and tries to cheer everyone up. You wouldn’t think I was the type that underwent depression if you met me. In fact, a part of me still denies that I’m depressed or capable of suicidal thoughts. And yet, deep down, I feel dead inside and these days, I just want to sleep.

I’ve no idea where this emptiness began, perhaps during my last years of high school? For years, though, the emptiness didn’t matter. I had my …

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my wish

January 6th, 2011by lost_soul

there’s really only one thing I wish for in my life. I just wish that I could make someone’s life better in any way, shape, or form. So far, with pretty much everyone in my life I’ve been a burden. But I will do anything to help someone out, make them feel better, make their lives easier. I would do things not because I wanted to, but rather because I wanted to see that person happy, even if it was for a moment. Yet, the most important person in my life isn’t benefiting from this. I am not happy making everyone else happy. I used …

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I scare myself…

January 5th, 2011by crystal_tears

i scare myself so bad. one day im the biggest egomaniac on the planet with plans to star in a movie or start my own clothing line. i laugh uncontrollably but im irritable. yet two days later im quite and feel like i have a giant black hole in my stomach. i cry and burn my arms with a curling iron. during this time i want to kill myself. but when im happy i look back at my scars and it shakes me up inside and makes me feel like im going crazy

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Split second

January 5th, 2011by watersoluble

This was originally a piece of prose that I wrote 10 years ago that I’ve altered slightly. Im going through a bad bout of depression at the moment and feeling pretty low and although its about a younger version of myself it still feels somewhat relevant to how I feel now.

You wake up and for a split second you think
everything will be all right,
But it wont.
You don’t know why but you’ve been sinking lower and lower and
suddenly it hits you and
you find you have no motivation
for anything at all.

You eventually get up but only because you’re made to.
You try to eat,
but have no interest in …

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distractions, so sweet, yet temporary

January 5th, 2011by 3_bringitback

Robert Downey Jr. my new obsession. my new distraction. I don’t like to think, ever. then the memories, they pour through those gaps that I opened, and it’s so hard to close them again.

I’ve spent hours on end, looking at Roberts youtube videos, looking up articles, biographys, watching his movies online. it’s only been three days now since I developed this ‘attraction’. but it hurts, when I’m trying to sleep, and all I think about is my laptop, and google. my escape. I’m argueing with my mom again because I don’t do anything but sit in my room, in the dark. because, he keeps …

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Sit Here Laying

January 5th, 2011by Mahnoodle_TFB

Paradise Lost – Hollywood Undead I sit here laying, typing and thinking. Do i want to go back to this again? Should I try and be freinds with the person who now hates me, the I USED to love, or should I go back to what ever  did before someone  talked to me about? I just don’t know anymore. ,I sit here listening to the songs that hurt me the most. Why do I do this, so when i crawl out of my cage I can be stronger than I have ever been. “All the pain isn’t the same when its your turn to hurt” …

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nothing changes, i could have predicted that.

January 5th, 2011by imstillbreathing

It’s a new day, with the same stuff. alone, the only difference is, i feel sick and dizzy. but the worst feeling on my mind, is lonely.

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A prerequisite

January 5th, 2011by TiredMesh

I felt, insufferable as I always do, but it’s never a morning thing(aside from feeling suicidal), I usually can stand myself in the morning, but lately it’s been anger, and low tolerance, waking up in utter torment.

Cutting does absolutely nothing, it’s as if my body does not want to take the abuse anymore, but then again, I’m only cutting over years of scar tissue, my wrists need a break? I’m getting off track, I just swallowed 10, tylonol 3’s with codeine. I know that won’t kill me, because I swallowed 45 of them in the past…my mother made sure I vomitted, yet never took me …

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take this life

January 5th, 2011by breaking_the_cycle

The pain grows inside

Every day getting stronger

It wakes the fear that I hide

Take this life, take all I have

I don’t feel real

And these wounds

With time won’t heal

All these secrets that I keep

The nightmares that torment me

While I sleep

Take this life, take all I have

I’m broken inside

My time wasted

Failing to live

So take this life

It’s all I have to give

The sound of your voice

Echoes in my dreams

My god what have I done

I still hear your scream

I don’t feel real

And these wounds

With time won’t heal

Take this life, take all I have

There’s nothing left

To keep me alive

I feel her waiting

For me to lay beside her

She’s here inside me

A face …

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The entire torment I have put myself through

January 5th, 2011by scoo96

I’m here to tell my story. When I look back on it, it seems like a really stupid fucking life I’ve had.

To make it clear, I’m a 14 year old Australian male, so ill be using the Australian-English ways of spelling. Pretty much all of the trauma that I have gone through is because I was insecure about me being gay.

All of this started around July of 2010.
Everything was going great. I had great friends, family was ok, and I was secure. Then, in the mid year school holidays, I went on a holiday to America. It was really good, but I’m not here to …

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Does anyone really understand

January 5th, 2011by cattygirl96

One a day is just not right. Wanting to watch it drip down my arm, but screaming at myself to stop is definitely not right. Cutting in the first place isn’t right. But what do you do ? No one will fully understand what you’re going through, and when you find those people there are always going to be complications. Like being scared they will leave, being even more scared they will give up hope on you, being mostly scared they will do something, because they care too much. So one by one the complications arise, typical of me to be so insecure. But i …

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Love (everybody needs it)

January 5th, 2011by niki

Love is patient,

love is kind.

It does not envy,

it does not boast,

it is not proud.

It is not dishonor others,

it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered,

it keeps no records of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:1-8

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i don’t know.

January 4th, 2011by imstillbreathing

One day, i’m gonna’ look at the sky and i’m gonna’ wonder if i’m supposed to be there and not me. who am i kidding? it’s not like anybody needs me. all i want is somebody to save me, and until that happens then this dreadful feeling will never go away. I’ve made mistakes along with everybody else, i’m just waiting on that one person that will save me, before it’s too late.

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black swan

January 4th, 2011by lost_soul

*SPOILER ALERT* if you didn’t watch “Black Swan” then go watch it. It’s very well done.

I watched “Black Swan” with my godsiblings over the weekend and although it’s categorized as a Thriller, I was not scared. I was actually surprised about how well the script was written and the performance was by Natalie Portman.

Long story short: it was my life.

Everything she did, was for perfection and approval of everyone. Body issues, constant practicing for perfection, inability to allow your true self free, always doing what others want you to do. Everything she went through, I go through in reality.

It’s not so …

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The Exit Bag

January 4th, 2011by benji

It works, but only if you follow directions.

I didn’t have helium, the recommended gas on hand.  So I opted for a more readily available gas; computer dusters, or “canned air”.  It isn’t really air though, it’s a gas that’s heavier than air, the opposite of helium.  I’ve read stories about it killing people, which is what I wanted, obviously.  But really I just needed it to pass out, so I wouldn’t feel the suffocation of the exit bag.

So I put the bag over my head and tightened it with the canned air straw sticking through the bag and my neck.  I exhaled all that was …

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See you around

January 4th, 2011by goodbikroolwurld

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misery by me

January 4th, 2011by joey91

I feel like a liar to the world. I am emotionally destroyed and sexually uninterested. I thought I was the messiah, but I realized that it was insane thinking. Now it is hard for me to think for myself any more.

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want my love

January 4th, 2011by renu

hi am 18.. i am in love with one of my school mate.. he was loving a girl before me but she dint accept him but they would pretend as lovers..but after some days he proposed i don like at 1st then started loving him.. he stopped talking with her then he was with me.. but in middle he would feel about those days of ll hurt me lot but i ll be silent.. all my friends left me as i did big mistake to her.. i don know whether its wrong or not but i love him lot.. he sometimes say about her …

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what to you think about anti depression pills?

January 4th, 2011by eggbrain

what is your opinion about anti depression/anxiety pills?

all for? against? would like to hear about you experience and thoughts, specially people who’ve been taking meds for a long period.

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Sure this is the end.

January 4th, 2011by Shanny

Once again  the health system has failed me. After waiting for two years for a diagnosis for chronic pain, my operation was scheduled for this month on the 10th. But of course nothing can go right for me, so it was canceled. Awesome, right. This was supposed to stop my pain and take me off of my pain meds, which meant that the doctors could start me on my anti depressants. But now this isnt going to happen for months. I have no faith at all that i will make it that far. It has been soo hard to wait this long and my mental …

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