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22

I believe mostly good people kill themselves

July 28th, 2010by berndt2010

For some reason, since I was 16 (I’m now 39), I have been fascinated with death. Not in a morbid sense, in fact, I am anything but morbid. For reasons unbeknown to myself, I always saw death as something beautiful and extremely exciting, and not the upsetting and dark thing that most people feel about it. As a child I was thought of as weird to not get upset, or be fearful, of death.

As I got older, I began to feel that suicide seems to be the solution for mostly ‘good’ people (I mean, you don’t hear of as many pedophiles, rapists and murderers committing …

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5

have you ever had a very strong urge to…

July 28th, 2010by imreadytogo

Just walk into your kitchen and grab your chef knife, hold it tightly in both hands and in one force stab, pierce your aorta? Right now it sounds pretty damn appealing.

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2

Feeling

July 28th, 2010by Kieylee102

I haven’t written here in a long time but I think I might need help. When I started to write I either wanted to feel something or wanted to stop feeling all together. But this time I don’t know whether if I want to feel something or nothing at all. On one hand I want to go back to cutting to see what’s real but on the other hand I’m so terrified that I keep having a nightmare that I end up almost die. So I don’t know how to feel. As well I have no one here to talk to or even understand why …

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2

Falling apart

July 28th, 2010by Kieylee102

I’m just a mess and can’t fix it. Every time I think I’ve got something right there is something that I forgot and I keep getting yelled at for it. I just can’t take it. And does anyone else get in trouble or yelled at; NO. I just keep getting pounded on and I always take the heat. What else is there to do the other person is younger than me so I feel that I should protect them. But then when I do they never try to help me.

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715

Helium hood method

July 28th, 2010by robbieinman

I only just found this site, which is pretty weird seen as I have been searching and studying suicide methods for 3 years.

Just briefly: I have known that I would take my own life for about ten years (I’m 37), and for 3 years I knew that the time was near and I started to study methods. the past year has been detailed planning.

Since I was 15 I have taken many overdoses, some of them massive (280 paracetamol, 80 sleeping pills and alcohol). Each and every time I have survived, obviously. But I warn you now, recovery is horrible, absolutely horrible, I can’t stress that …

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10

despair

July 28th, 2010by grudney

shame and loss and misery lead me to my dads old gun -will the 50 year old ammunition work ? i hope so and that i will have the courage

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2

I…

July 28th, 2010by bghb

Just want one chance to get this out without any judgement or anyone trying to stop me. It’s long… so you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to. If you do.. you aren’t going to help so keep your comments to yourself.
I’ve been suicidal for a long time now. I’m not even sure what started these feelings I have. All I know is that I have an intense hatred of me. I constantly shut myself down and consider myself “not good enough” or “undeserving of this life”. I feel like I’m a waste on the worlds resources and life would have been …

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1

Both Ends

July 28th, 2010by 400metermike

Being on the both ends of suicide is something that I never thought I would ever experience by the time I was 22. On August 5 2002  was the starting of all the bad things that would happen in my life. I can still remember everything about that day, I remember exactly what I was doing and I can still hear ever word my uncle Darien said to me that day. During that summer he would always come over and hangout with me until I had to go to football practice. He was like my older brother I looked up to him in so many …

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0

Liontamer

July 27th, 2010by droznig

“If you place something at the centre of your life that lacks the power to nourish, it will eventually poison you and destroy everything that you are.

As simple a thing as an idea, or your perspective of yourself or the world around you, no one can be the source of your contempt, it lies within, in the centre”

Lyrics to a song i heard once.

Lion tamer – Faithless

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2

im going to do it this week

July 27th, 2010by elnorejackson

im tryed of being kicked when down im tyred of being in mentaly abusive realishiops ive been thro to much to even care anymore i got married this year and now we have no money so i must pay bills i have not been doing my hait or showering but the tub is allways dirty cuz otuhe niggas dont clean its like im a maid in the house my husband blames me for every thing and says im a dike now but then blames me for not touching him yep today may be the day i tryed once befor i had a sezier and my …

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1

It’s been written before

July 27th, 2010by ReNDeR

the deep bellowing of the pain in my chest. it comes and goes, comes and goes. stays at the least expected times, and then goes again.

like everything else in my life. comes, and goes. and sometimes i am so used to things going, that i push everything as far away as i can.

i dont talk to you, because you wont understand.

you’ve even admitted to not understanding.

i thought by now, at this age, i would be past teenage methods of relief.
it doesn’t get any better, it only gets worse.
i am digging through old boxes, and old veins, for the relief that quieted everything for brief amounts …

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4

searching for anything..

July 27th, 2010by thegirlwhostoppedtheworld

I’ve never done anything like this, expressed my emotions to strangers, well hell i’ve never expressed anything to any one but my one best friend. He knows my secrets, my darkness, and my occasional brightness.  It makes me wonder how many people there are out there, real people. People who can feel things who can understand.

I am not suicidal, nor do i have suicidal thoughts, but I’ve let it cross my mind once or twice.

I am not happy, Im not sad, not in love, not skinny, not fat, not tall, nor short.  i am average. I feel things very much the same way everyone else does. …

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6

Just not quite good enough

July 27th, 2010by fiver

I am 18 years old and 6’2″, yet I don’t think anyone will ever see me as anything other than a child. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see myself as an actual adult. I feel completely powerless. I am sick of people condescending to me. I am sick of thinking that I deserve it. The helplessness makes me want to scream my lungs dead, scratch at the walls of my room until my fingernails fall off, claw at my eyes until they bleed. I feel like the only way I can prove some semblance of power …

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2

I want to suicide because my failures have brought shame on me and my family

July 26th, 2010by Wander Shadows

I want to sincerely thank anyone who takes the time to read this and even more so if you share with me some words.

Hello I’m a 23 male. I was in college, and if I have to be honest I was always a bad student. I recently got discharged when I was about to finish. So I feel like shit because I’m feeling I’m never going to get a decent job and it’s only my fault.

I feel so much emotional and spiritual pain because for me accomplishing school was the major obligation towards myself and my parents and I failed at it.

Perhaps …

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0

Confused…

July 26th, 2010by droznig

I’m not really sure what I came on here expecting to find. I guess I was looking for something real, instead what I’ve found here is a lot of genuine people but also a lot of fiction. I’m not sure if I misunderstood the purpose or reasoning behind this place, or if these people are really just taking advantage of people who suffer from mental illness by jumping on the band wagon so to speak. Either way it doesn’t really make any sense to me. I really thought this was a place to share real life stories and not for fictional stories about suicide…. Well …

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1

I can’t take it anymore!

July 26th, 2010by brokenheart4ever

Why me? I can’t take it anymore! It’s hard enough being a female high school student with all the “requirement” like being skinny, popular, smart, pretty but on top of all this I lost the love of my life 8 months ago and I’m still hurting. She was the only on who cared what Ithought, how I feel. She was the only one who loved me for me. I used to fake a smile everyday and act like nothing bothered me but when i met her everything changed. I was truly happy. Before I met her I had a problem with drugs and struggled with cutting. The …

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0

DREAMING AND SCREAMING

July 25th, 2010by RottingInAVacantHollow

I have been having these weird dreams about The Rev, I am indeed a fan of Avenged Sevenfold, but I am not overly obsessed at all. I have been having these dreams about his past memories (i am in his body seeing things through his eyes) and i keep getting this idea in my head to kill myself. It is like a hint to kill myself now, because things are going to get worse and i won’t be able to kill myself. also it shows every second of his life, the shows, fights,embarrassing moments, his thoughts…everything except to

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1

lulling back to sleep

July 25th, 2010by ReNDeR

an un-sheilded wire carries such friction into speakers. a loud buzz, or a fuzzy undertone. a sound that drowns my brain.
a list of things, like “do you think Meghan would miss me?”
quick and painless, long and slow. some thoughts consume the whole day.

they have no idea.

roulette style thoughts that pop into thin air. i don’t share them
not with anyone.
therefore they don’t exist in this reality, unless written, and hidden, or hiding among the painfully obvious in cryptic texts.
the hurt behind the eyes doesn’t mean a single thing, even though you can recognize it in others who are kindred, because you can easily send …

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3

am i crazy ?

July 25th, 2010by killmeplease

i dont know what to do anymore.i cutt.i have tried to kill myself.i have don so many things.&& lied so many times.everyone at school hates me.&& they do so many mean things.its all me.i wish i could just die.just drop dead.replace richies life with mine.he was killed.&&& didnt wanna be.butt i wanna be.just please switch me & richie.please please please! i lie.im ugly.& fat.I JUST WANNA DIE !

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2

please anyone just stop me. I have no one…

July 24th, 2010by maria

It so hard that i cat take it anymore…and i now i shouldnt be saying this in the web but i did a lot of things wiht him that i was never supposed to do and thats why it KILLS me. I feel so used and i just cant do this anymore. To make it worse i had an incident when i was pregnant. I didnt know i actually was. What i ended up doing was killing my baby. MY OWN BABY!. I swear i didnt know, and i didnt mean to hit myself in the stomach. It was just all i ever did when …

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