There’s a new girl who is in the waiting room at my psychiatrist’s office. She sits and waits while I sit and wait. She must be seeing someone else in the building at the same time as my appointment. She is pretty. She has more exposed cuts than anyone else I have seen. They look like they were put there deliberately. Most are completely healed. I want to say hi to her. I want to ask if she will be my friend. She looks sad and I feel crazy. Would it be wrong to ask […]

I feel like I have reached a wall where I have done all that I can and I don’t know what else is left….I have not actively pursued death but did almost  die; I almost drowned and it was an accident and left me a bit shaken I can’t help wondering if I might have been better off dead.

I had a dog for 12 years and my dad took him away from me and had his friend watch him.  They said they would take good care of him…and they did alright…first they claimed he disappeared and the next he was in the river but everything […]

I feel a deep love for Jasmine, a longing to show her I love her. I have gone past the sexual thoughts and I just want to hold her and kiss her. I was reading a sex story based on the Naruto show and how he pleased the women he seduced by treating them well. He showed them he would treat them right. I got teary eyed and my heart felt weird as I thought of Jasmine and as I think of it I get cold chills. 

I love Jasmine so much. Is this not a feeling of love? Is this really purely a desire and […]

I’m losing my strive and will to live. I can hardly even finish writing a single poem. Writing is all I have to live for, it’s the only thing I actually WANT to live for. Without it, I am nothing, without it, I’m better off dead.

With this hatred I stand
with a razor in hand
To see my final plan through
I wish I could see
The pain in which you’ll be
When you see that I’m through
The day has gone by
And now I will die
With your picture in my hand
But don’t think I’ll rest
It was not meant for us to last
But I’ll be sure to haunt you in your dreams

You’ll think of days that went by
Without a tear in your eye
And hope that theyll come back
But you know in your heart
That black hole of remorse
That you’ll never be […]

Never once before had the thought occurred to me that getting help was so scary. Everyone says it’ll be okay, but it really never will be. Something’s always going to be wrong, life isn’t going to be perfect, if it could be perfect just for one day, I would be fine, but eventually I’d have to remember, you can’t just forget about something and never think back to it again.. Nothing will ever be okay…

Why do I refuse to let anyone know how I truly feel?

My family is susceptible to bouts of severe depression, and it’s finally hit me. Every day I go to sleep hoping I won’t wake up. What’s worst is that I know there are people with lives so much worse than mine, and I feel guilty and shallow when I think about that. My life isn’t even that horrible – I have parents who love me, even if they sometimes don’t show it. My brother cares about me, and I care about him. But I haven’t really felt love. Every day, I wake up dreading what lies ahead, be it school or just facing other people, […]

im so so deeply lost…. the world feels like a stranger to me like it seems fake more and more everyday.. i take a walk and i notice things more.. my mind is more open… not sure why so maybe somebody else does? but I’m so lost… lost and scared… i want to drink the pain away.. but i have this feeling that if i start drinking i won’t be able to stop…. i also wanna get high.. ugh… I’m so very very very lost..scared and alone….

-RawrImaTurtle….!…

Please. Please no. Don’t do this. i know it feels like no one cares & like no one notices or helps or listens or any of that, but trust me they do.
My Uncle, killed himself 2 years ago. He hung himself on the back porch. He lived with my Grandparents. Imagine that. Waking up one beautiful morning, setting out to have your coffee on the deck, and seeing your son, or someone you love to death, dead. He had attempted it before, but was never able to actually do it.
He had a daughter that was 3. He had friends and family that loved […]

I’m so depressed right now. If I had a way I think I would kill myself right now. I’m thinking about trying to burn myself for the first time. I usually cut but maybe burning my flesh would make me feel better.

I’m so sick of this life. Everything is the same and everything just gets worse. People tell me “Just wait…It will get better.” But I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of holding on. I’m tired of always being strong. I want to be done. I’m so depressed.

There is no reason for me to be here.  No purpose to my life.  I am good at litterally nothing other than writing, singing, and dreaming of a life I’m not good enough at anything to have. All I can expect from life is a waitressing job, maybe a sub teacher.  That’s all.  I’m 14, and I know I’m worth as much now as I’ll ever be.  So why not just quit while I’m ahead?

A boy in my school committed suicide on Tuesday…he hung himself…I’ve been destraut about it since I found out. No one ever knew he would try to..no one even knew he was upset with his life. If I had known I would have tried to talk to him. I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember and have wanted to die for years now. Obviously I wouldn’t encourage him…I would have tried to get him off the ledge. He was a great kid. Everyone knew him and loved him even at our huge school. But after this happened it got me thinking…how horrible […]

im not scared of dying, so i dont understand what is still stopping me from doing it already.

im such a fucking dickhead.

I try every day to set myself up for someone I trust to see my scars.  I even sit there in class and pick at the scabes or fiddle with the bracelets I use to hide them.  I let my friends play with the bracelets, give them full view of my wrists.  And they never notice.  I just want someone to see, to understand, and to take my hand and lie to me and tell me it’s ok and that they’ll take care of me.

I’ve written out a competent, thorough suicide letter, and drafted a will (which can’t be legal anyway because of my age), with how I want my things to be sorted and what I want to happen to my body.

When the time comes, I’m ready.  Everything in order.  I just need to start getting rid of things no one will want, and set a date to do it by.  If I’m not ready by then, I’ll set another date.  This is going to end soon, I feel it.

Since my ex left me I’ve been fighting a losing battle with my mind, I’ve never been a particularly lucky man in life, I spent the entire of school being severely bullied everyday and never had anyone I could really call a friend. Once I left school and began college Life started to look up somewhat when I started to actually receive attention from others in a positive manner, during this time I met my ex, she was a shy innocent girl who actually understood that I was scared of opening up to people and showing my true feelings. I felt that this made up for all of those years I […]

There are only two things in life. Success and failure. Call them as you will, happiness and discontentment, power and disinfluence, or fame or obscurity. There is only one thing after life. Death. To those who want it, it comes too late. To those who don’t, it comes too soon. Life is the long winding road to death. After our deaths comes the death of all who we know, and then the death of all who they have ever met and so on. The chance that everyone you have ever influenced will be dead increases over time. But you already know that. We delude ourselves […]

After having sex with some guy a few days ago he was acting really obsessive afterwards like he was becoming attached. He said he wanted to be with me and has been saying that for a couple of days. I don’t want him though. But now his friends are saying he has an STI from me and he isn’t trying to talk to me today. Im really confused because there isnt anything wrong with me. I hate when people talk shit about me and it just makes me want to run away as far as possible. I have a bad reputation where I live but […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0C2rH9j-Qw&feature=plcp

My Suicide Attempt. Not for children or those who are sensitive. If you are considering suicide, please reconsider. Watch this first.

I wanted to make this video, for several reasons.

For one I am tired of running from my appearance, and peoples reaction. I am coming out, so to speak.

Secondly many people seem to be considering suicide as an option, please watch this first, if that is you.

If you don’t want to live get some help.

Also if you try and don’t succeed, then you have to live disfigured as I am having to do.